Read Online Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Warren Ellis
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anyway. You want me to go home tomorrow?”
“You want me to buy you a ticket home?”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you want me to go?”
“I’ll buy you a ticket home, if you want.”
“What are you, eight? Answer the question, Mike.”
“No.”
“Christ! What no? No to me leaving?”
“No, I’m not eight.”
“Mike, I could snap your neck using only my pussy lips right now.”
“Oh, for…”
I pulled the car over, in sight of the highway back to the hotel.
“Trix…No, I don’t want you to go. If I’ve been shit at hiding that I look at you sometimes, then I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. If you want to go because I’m being creepy, then I’ll buy you a ticket, pay you for your time, and we’re cool. And I’m sorry. Okay?”
Trix sighed. Looked out the window. Looked back at me.
“Mike. I am asking you to have sex with me.”
“…oh.”
“Oh? Did the easy-reading version work?”
Chapter 17
I f you think I’m telling you about having sex with Trix, you’re insane.
Chapter 18
I think it’s finally going down,” Trix said.
I took a look. “Yeah. You no longer have girl-balls.”
She gave that little tinkling giggle and snuggled into my arm. “I have decided that we need to do that more often.”
“Fill our bits with salty water?”
She bit my nipple. “No. The other thing. Although, you know…”
“No chance. One-time thing. I’m not carrying my nuts around in a wheelbarrow for you.”
“And I thought you liked me. Didn’t you have to make a phone call?”
“Shit. So I did. Someone distracted me.”
“So it’s all my fault now?”
“Absolutely.” I kissed her hair. “I’ll call him later. He’ll still be awake.”
“Who do you need to talk to?”
“Bob Ajax. Guy I knew back in my Chicago days. He moved to San Antonio a few years ago. A little local knowledge might help.”
“You don’t look happy about it.”
“Oh, I like Bob fine. He’s a good guy. What bothers me is who we have to go and see.” I sighed, tried to relax. “Doesn’t matter. Not right now.”
“No. It doesn’t. You stay right here. How long since you last got laid?”
“Well, I remember saying, Mr. Lincoln, when am I going to meet a nice girl?”
“Seriously.”
“Since my girlfriend left me, pretty much. A few years.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish.”
“A few years? I would have died. It would have healed over.”
“If you check the condom, you’ll find a bunch of gray pebbles in the end.”
“Oh, that’s gross.”
“You bring out the best in me. I need a cigarette.”
Cold and sticky, wobbly knees, rooting around in my jacket, something occurred to me. Because I can’t just leave things alone.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why this.”
She coiled around onto her front, feet on the headboard, and considered me. “I think I want to meet your ex. And kill her for whatever she did to your brain.”
“No, really. Was it just because…?”
“Because what? Because your dick was full of brine? Because when I’m horny I just jump into bed with the first available live body?”
“No,” I lied, because when she put it like that I sounded like an asshole, and that couldn’t be right. “I just…You weren’t interested in me like…that.”
She stared. “Oh my God, Mike.”
“What? You came for the thesis and the job. I know that. That was the deal, I’m not pissed or anything.”
Her eyes were like saucers. “You. Are. Such. A. Retard.”
“What did I do now?”
“Mike. I wanted to kiss you the first time you made me laugh. But you’re always so…freaked out. By everything . Mike, you’re a really nice guy who made me laugh and you wanted me to go on an adventure with you. You think that happens to me, you know, ever ? Do you have any idea when anyone last wanted to talk to me for what was in my head ?”
I stood there like an idiot with the cigarettes in my hand, unable to think of anything worth
“You want me to buy you a ticket home?”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you want me to go?”
“I’ll buy you a ticket home, if you want.”
“What are you, eight? Answer the question, Mike.”
“No.”
“Christ! What no? No to me leaving?”
“No, I’m not eight.”
“Mike, I could snap your neck using only my pussy lips right now.”
“Oh, for…”
I pulled the car over, in sight of the highway back to the hotel.
“Trix…No, I don’t want you to go. If I’ve been shit at hiding that I look at you sometimes, then I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. If you want to go because I’m being creepy, then I’ll buy you a ticket, pay you for your time, and we’re cool. And I’m sorry. Okay?”
Trix sighed. Looked out the window. Looked back at me.
“Mike. I am asking you to have sex with me.”
“…oh.”
“Oh? Did the easy-reading version work?”
Chapter 17
I f you think I’m telling you about having sex with Trix, you’re insane.
Chapter 18
I think it’s finally going down,” Trix said.
I took a look. “Yeah. You no longer have girl-balls.”
She gave that little tinkling giggle and snuggled into my arm. “I have decided that we need to do that more often.”
“Fill our bits with salty water?”
She bit my nipple. “No. The other thing. Although, you know…”
“No chance. One-time thing. I’m not carrying my nuts around in a wheelbarrow for you.”
“And I thought you liked me. Didn’t you have to make a phone call?”
“Shit. So I did. Someone distracted me.”
“So it’s all my fault now?”
“Absolutely.” I kissed her hair. “I’ll call him later. He’ll still be awake.”
“Who do you need to talk to?”
“Bob Ajax. Guy I knew back in my Chicago days. He moved to San Antonio a few years ago. A little local knowledge might help.”
“You don’t look happy about it.”
“Oh, I like Bob fine. He’s a good guy. What bothers me is who we have to go and see.” I sighed, tried to relax. “Doesn’t matter. Not right now.”
“No. It doesn’t. You stay right here. How long since you last got laid?”
“Well, I remember saying, Mr. Lincoln, when am I going to meet a nice girl?”
“Seriously.”
“Since my girlfriend left me, pretty much. A few years.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I wish.”
“A few years? I would have died. It would have healed over.”
“If you check the condom, you’ll find a bunch of gray pebbles in the end.”
“Oh, that’s gross.”
“You bring out the best in me. I need a cigarette.”
Cold and sticky, wobbly knees, rooting around in my jacket, something occurred to me. Because I can’t just leave things alone.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why this.”
She coiled around onto her front, feet on the headboard, and considered me. “I think I want to meet your ex. And kill her for whatever she did to your brain.”
“No, really. Was it just because…?”
“Because what? Because your dick was full of brine? Because when I’m horny I just jump into bed with the first available live body?”
“No,” I lied, because when she put it like that I sounded like an asshole, and that couldn’t be right. “I just…You weren’t interested in me like…that.”
She stared. “Oh my God, Mike.”
“What? You came for the thesis and the job. I know that. That was the deal, I’m not pissed or anything.”
Her eyes were like saucers. “You. Are. Such. A. Retard.”
“What did I do now?”
“Mike. I wanted to kiss you the first time you made me laugh. But you’re always so…freaked out. By everything . Mike, you’re a really nice guy who made me laugh and you wanted me to go on an adventure with you. You think that happens to me, you know, ever ? Do you have any idea when anyone last wanted to talk to me for what was in my head ?”
I stood there like an idiot with the cigarettes in my hand, unable to think of anything worth
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