there are so many honest ways of making a living – stacking supermarket shelves for example – you have to ask why he does it. Probably, let’s face it, his shelf-stacking simply isn’t up to it, any more than his books are.
CHAPTER TEN
From the journal of Elsie Thirkettle
Still Friday 4th January, which Pepys would have called the 26th December since they were still on the Julian Calendar then, not to mention Old Style and stuff like that. I’m amazed Ethelred doesn’t insist on using the Julian Calendar, thinking about it. He’s just about reconciled to British Summer Time, but you can see the look of relief on his little face every autumn when he can set his gold pocket watch back one hour to Greenwich Mean Time. Maybe I’ll try to get him a genuine Julian Calendar as a Christmas present next year. One where the year number doesn’t change until March, like they used to do until 1752. He’d like that.
Anyway, when I got home from Sussex, I took a look at Ethelred’s bad reviews on Amazon because, though I am immensely sympathetic to all my authors’ little troubles, illiterate diatribes can actually be very funny and provide an agent with many a relaxing evening.
The first thing I noticed about the Thrillseeker reviews was that they were pretty well put together. He (for it seemed to be a man – he occasionally pulled his punches in a way that a woman would not have done) had certainly read each of the books, if not from cover to cover, then at least up to a point that allowed him to put in some very effective plot spoilers. Many of the criticisms were of course ones that I had pointed out to Ethelred myself, but do authors listen? Some of Thrillseeker’s other remarks were heavy-handed, but most had more than a grain of truth in them.
In the old days the only people who wrote reviews were professional critics or other writers. They weren’t necessarily polite, but they did it under their own names and if they didn’t like something they normally gave reasons. These days any tosser can be a book reviewer by logging on and typing in whatever crap comes into their head. And you don’t have to say who you are. Thrillseeker hid like a creep behind his alias. But in one way I respected him. Some reviewers might have occasionally wavered or accidentally given Ethelred two stars, But no. Thrillseeker gave a single lonely star every time.
And, when you thought about it, Thrillseeker had actually put a lot of work into his criticism. He’d read at least twenty of Ethelred’s books – no mean feat, I’m telling you. And, the more I read, the more I wondered, as Ethelred had, why anyone would bother to buy (or even borrow from the library) book after book that they disliked so much. What had Ethelred done to upset him so much?
And another question struck me.
If Thrillseeker didn’t like Ethelred’s books, what the hell did he like?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Amazon.co.uk
A Bad Way to Die
[paperback]
Crispin Vynall (author)
Customer reviews
***** Bloody Brilliant 3 December 2012
By Thrillseeker
Crispin Vynall does it again! It’s rare to find an author who combines a fine literary style and the ability to produce page after page of riveting action. Looking at the sad crop of so-called crime writers we have today, Vynall may be pretty much unique in this respect.
In
A Bad Way to Die
, Joe Smith finds himself the only witness to a gang-land killing. Bravely he goes to the police, who promise him protection if he will testify, but a corrupt officer lets the killers know where to find him and Joe is nolonger safe. Soon he is on the run not knowing who, if anyone, he can trust. The plot never ceases to hold your attention, never ceases to produce surprises right up to the immensely satisfying conclusion.
There is a lyricism to Vynall’s prose that makes him stand out from any of his contemporaries. Only the nauseating envy of the literary establishment on the one hand and the incompetence of the pathetic clique
CHAPTER TEN
From the journal of Elsie Thirkettle
Still Friday 4th January, which Pepys would have called the 26th December since they were still on the Julian Calendar then, not to mention Old Style and stuff like that. I’m amazed Ethelred doesn’t insist on using the Julian Calendar, thinking about it. He’s just about reconciled to British Summer Time, but you can see the look of relief on his little face every autumn when he can set his gold pocket watch back one hour to Greenwich Mean Time. Maybe I’ll try to get him a genuine Julian Calendar as a Christmas present next year. One where the year number doesn’t change until March, like they used to do until 1752. He’d like that.
Anyway, when I got home from Sussex, I took a look at Ethelred’s bad reviews on Amazon because, though I am immensely sympathetic to all my authors’ little troubles, illiterate diatribes can actually be very funny and provide an agent with many a relaxing evening.
The first thing I noticed about the Thrillseeker reviews was that they were pretty well put together. He (for it seemed to be a man – he occasionally pulled his punches in a way that a woman would not have done) had certainly read each of the books, if not from cover to cover, then at least up to a point that allowed him to put in some very effective plot spoilers. Many of the criticisms were of course ones that I had pointed out to Ethelred myself, but do authors listen? Some of Thrillseeker’s other remarks were heavy-handed, but most had more than a grain of truth in them.
In the old days the only people who wrote reviews were professional critics or other writers. They weren’t necessarily polite, but they did it under their own names and if they didn’t like something they normally gave reasons. These days any tosser can be a book reviewer by logging on and typing in whatever crap comes into their head. And you don’t have to say who you are. Thrillseeker hid like a creep behind his alias. But in one way I respected him. Some reviewers might have occasionally wavered or accidentally given Ethelred two stars, But no. Thrillseeker gave a single lonely star every time.
And, when you thought about it, Thrillseeker had actually put a lot of work into his criticism. He’d read at least twenty of Ethelred’s books – no mean feat, I’m telling you. And, the more I read, the more I wondered, as Ethelred had, why anyone would bother to buy (or even borrow from the library) book after book that they disliked so much. What had Ethelred done to upset him so much?
And another question struck me.
If Thrillseeker didn’t like Ethelred’s books, what the hell did he like?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Amazon.co.uk
A Bad Way to Die
[paperback]
Crispin Vynall (author)
Customer reviews
***** Bloody Brilliant 3 December 2012
By Thrillseeker
Crispin Vynall does it again! It’s rare to find an author who combines a fine literary style and the ability to produce page after page of riveting action. Looking at the sad crop of so-called crime writers we have today, Vynall may be pretty much unique in this respect.
In
A Bad Way to Die
, Joe Smith finds himself the only witness to a gang-land killing. Bravely he goes to the police, who promise him protection if he will testify, but a corrupt officer lets the killers know where to find him and Joe is nolonger safe. Soon he is on the run not knowing who, if anyone, he can trust. The plot never ceases to hold your attention, never ceases to produce surprises right up to the immensely satisfying conclusion.
There is a lyricism to Vynall’s prose that makes him stand out from any of his contemporaries. Only the nauseating envy of the literary establishment on the one hand and the incompetence of the pathetic clique
Similar Books
