Read Online Craving Absolution by Nicole Jacquelyn - Free Book Online Page B

away from each other. It was comforting to know that she would be close by when everything else seemed to be changing at the speed of light. Grease had rented a newer house in a subdivision a few blocks away for Callie and Will, and both Callie and I had cried when we’d finally finished unpacking and it was time for them to go home.
    It was the end of an era. I’d lived with Callie, or practically lived with her, since I was sixteen years old, and the thought of living without her was scary as hell. We’d held each other up for so long; it was heartbreaking that she no longer needed me for that. The hardest part, though, was saying good-bye to Will that night. He’d come home as a newborn to our little apartment, and there had never been a day that I hadn’t changed one of his diapers or shared a cup of Cheerios with him.
    As irrational and unfair as I knew it was, I couldn ’t help but feel a little resentful that Grease was taking them away from me. I’d never say anything, because underneath it all, I was beyond happy for my best friend.
    I just wished that everything didn ’t have to change.
    Once Cody and I helped Gram get her bedroom situated so she’d have a place to sleep, we hugged her good-bye and walked to my apartment for the night. The apartments were right down the sidewalk from each other, but the two doors between them felt like a hundred miles after being so close for so long.
    B y the time we walked inside my apartment, I felt the creeping tightness in my chest that signaled an epic panic attack. I tried to use my breathing exercises, repeating over and over in my head that I was fine and it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but it didn’t seem to help. Finally, I squeezed my eyes closed in defeat, begging my body not to break down in front of Cody.
    B ut it was no use.
    My fingers began to tingle as I stumbled toward my bedroom, and I barely heard Cody ’s voice asking me what was wrong before I started panting. I wheezed, unable to get enough air, and dropped to the floor to grab the garbage bag holding the quilt from my bed. I just needed my quilt and I’d be okay. Someone had tied a knot in the top of the bag that I couldn’t pry loose, and I felt tears running down my face as Cody knelt down beside me to still my frantic fingers.
    “ You’re scaring me, Ladybug. What’s going on?” he asked urgently, turning my face up so he could look at me.
    “ Need my blankie. In the bag.” I continued to wheeze as more tears poured from my eyes. Oh God, I needed my blanket.
    “ Okay, babe, I got it,” he said, reassuring me as he dug his fingers into the bag to rip open the sides. I made a soft noise in my throat as I saw the familiar wedding ring pattern, and reached my hands into the open bag next to his, the sight and feel of the soft stitching promising relief. We pulled it free together, and I was sobbing and shaking as I hurriedly unfolded it. Once it was opened up between us, I lay down on my side and pulled it over my entire body, covering myself from head to toe.
    The shaking stopped almost instantly, fading to small tremors, but it took a while for my breathing to get back to normal. I lay inside my safe place, soothed by the feel of Cody’s hand rubbing comfortingly up and down my back. Finally exhaustion set in, and I got enough air in my lungs. We were quiet for a few moments, relief palpable between us, before I saw his hand grab the side of the quilt as if to pull it away.
    “ Not yet!” I rasped insistently, pulling back at the cover.
    “ Okay,” he said softly, and relaxed his hand.
    He was quiet for a moment before he shifted, and then suddenly he was under the blanket with me, pulling it over his head so we were face-to-face, cocooned in darkness.
    “ This okay?” he whispered.
    “ Yeah.” I sniffled once and wiped the back of my hand beneath my nose.
    “ What was that, Ladybug?” He reached out a hand to cup my cheek, and the soft gesture almost had me sobbing