think it was accurate?”
“The one about fathers?” Nathan asked. “And fatherlessness?”
Adam nodded.
“I agree with it. I grew up seeing that kind of stuff all the time. You know how many of my childhood friends went to jail or died before they turned twenty? And how many are still crack addicts? And no, it’s not about being black; it’s about being poor and hopeless. I wondered where all the good fathers went to.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Shane said.
“What?” Adam said. “I remember you talking about your dad, Shane. Wasn’t he an usher or something at your church?”
“Yeah, that doesn’t mean anything. Soon as the church service began, he’d step out back for a smoke. The problem wasn’t the smoking—but why even go to church if you’re going to just stand outside? One time he says, ‘I’d better not catch you drinkin’.’ He had a beer in his hand when he said it!”
The guys shared knowing glances.
“My mom used to nag him . . . until they got divorced. Look, it’s not like I don’t love the guy, but it’s kind of hard to respect a hypocrite.”
“What about you, David?” Adam asked.
David took a while to answer. “I had a good dad, I guess. I mean, nobody’s perfect. My parents split after he had an affair. I think he regretted it.”
“Did he tell you that?” Adam asked.
“Not in so many words, but I got that impression. I struggled with it for a while. But divorce comes with the territory now.”
“I disagree, man,” Nathan said. “Divorce happens because you make it an option.”
“But you can’t always work stuff out,” David said. “Sometimes you need to part ways.”
“I think I agree with Nathan,” Adam said. “Calling it quits has become too easy. People don’t fight for their marriages anymore.”
“When you get married and have kids,” Nathan said to David, “you’re gonna figure out real quick how much you don’t know. Man, if it wasn’t for my faith in God, I’d be in a tailspin right now.”
“Yeah, me too,” Adam said.
“Guys . . . not everybody believes in that stuff,” David said. “You’re all religious, and that’s fine. But you can’t think religion is the only way to live your life. I mean, didn’t your parents get a divorce, Nathan?”
“That’s the problem. They were never married.”
The other guys appeared surprised.
“Listen, my dad never professed to be a Christian. He had six children from three women. I was the fifth. By the time I was born, he’d already left. I’ll tell you what, man. I’m thirty-seven years old, and I have never met my biological father.”
“No kidding?” Adam said. “That’s rough.”
“If I have five siblings I know of, from three different women, who’s to say I don’t have more? And statistically, some of them would probably have been killed.”
“Killed?” David asked.
“You know—what they do with unwanted kids before they’re born. One half of all black babies are aborted.”
“I never knew that,” Adam said.
“Some people think that’s better than to grow up unwanted,” Shane said. “I mean, look at the problem on the streets.”
Nathan weighed his words. “But does it occur to you that abortion isn’t just a symptom; it’s also an underlying problem? Black men, all men really, have been told abortion is between a woman and her doctor. Well, if I have no say over whether the child even lives, if that’s entirely the mother’s call, then why should I have anything to do with raising the child? The man is either the father of the child or he isn’t—you can’t have it both ways.”
“I’ve never thought about it like that,” Adam said.
David looked at Nathan. “Looks like you turned out all right.”
Nathan leaned back and smoothed his hands over his shaved head. “That’s because of a man in my neighborhood named William Barrett. When I was a teenager, just about to be swallowed up by a gang, he grabbed hold of me and
“The one about fathers?” Nathan asked. “And fatherlessness?”
Adam nodded.
“I agree with it. I grew up seeing that kind of stuff all the time. You know how many of my childhood friends went to jail or died before they turned twenty? And how many are still crack addicts? And no, it’s not about being black; it’s about being poor and hopeless. I wondered where all the good fathers went to.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Shane said.
“What?” Adam said. “I remember you talking about your dad, Shane. Wasn’t he an usher or something at your church?”
“Yeah, that doesn’t mean anything. Soon as the church service began, he’d step out back for a smoke. The problem wasn’t the smoking—but why even go to church if you’re going to just stand outside? One time he says, ‘I’d better not catch you drinkin’.’ He had a beer in his hand when he said it!”
The guys shared knowing glances.
“My mom used to nag him . . . until they got divorced. Look, it’s not like I don’t love the guy, but it’s kind of hard to respect a hypocrite.”
“What about you, David?” Adam asked.
David took a while to answer. “I had a good dad, I guess. I mean, nobody’s perfect. My parents split after he had an affair. I think he regretted it.”
“Did he tell you that?” Adam asked.
“Not in so many words, but I got that impression. I struggled with it for a while. But divorce comes with the territory now.”
“I disagree, man,” Nathan said. “Divorce happens because you make it an option.”
“But you can’t always work stuff out,” David said. “Sometimes you need to part ways.”
“I think I agree with Nathan,” Adam said. “Calling it quits has become too easy. People don’t fight for their marriages anymore.”
“When you get married and have kids,” Nathan said to David, “you’re gonna figure out real quick how much you don’t know. Man, if it wasn’t for my faith in God, I’d be in a tailspin right now.”
“Yeah, me too,” Adam said.
“Guys . . . not everybody believes in that stuff,” David said. “You’re all religious, and that’s fine. But you can’t think religion is the only way to live your life. I mean, didn’t your parents get a divorce, Nathan?”
“That’s the problem. They were never married.”
The other guys appeared surprised.
“Listen, my dad never professed to be a Christian. He had six children from three women. I was the fifth. By the time I was born, he’d already left. I’ll tell you what, man. I’m thirty-seven years old, and I have never met my biological father.”
“No kidding?” Adam said. “That’s rough.”
“If I have five siblings I know of, from three different women, who’s to say I don’t have more? And statistically, some of them would probably have been killed.”
“Killed?” David asked.
“You know—what they do with unwanted kids before they’re born. One half of all black babies are aborted.”
“I never knew that,” Adam said.
“Some people think that’s better than to grow up unwanted,” Shane said. “I mean, look at the problem on the streets.”
Nathan weighed his words. “But does it occur to you that abortion isn’t just a symptom; it’s also an underlying problem? Black men, all men really, have been told abortion is between a woman and her doctor. Well, if I have no say over whether the child even lives, if that’s entirely the mother’s call, then why should I have anything to do with raising the child? The man is either the father of the child or he isn’t—you can’t have it both ways.”
“I’ve never thought about it like that,” Adam said.
David looked at Nathan. “Looks like you turned out all right.”
Nathan leaned back and smoothed his hands over his shaved head. “That’s because of a man in my neighborhood named William Barrett. When I was a teenager, just about to be swallowed up by a gang, he grabbed hold of me and
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