Read Online Cottage Daze by James Ross - Free Book Online Page B

could understand, there were secret passages between rooms — how cool is that in the imaginative mind of a five-year-old? My mother had been hanging out with some professor in a billiard room, but my dad didn’t seem to mind, even when the academic turned out to be a killer. My dad seemed to have followed some sexpot named Scarlet around, and this did seem to annoy my mother. I thought, boy adults have fun: people murdered, and what a mansion their friends must have! A game called Clue had just been introduced to North America.
    Now, we sit around the table staring covertly at our secret notes, going from room to room playing detective in a race to find out who murdered Mr. Body. I am always Colonel Mustard. At one time the kids had a good giggle when I would jabber away in a rendition of an old colonel’s English accent. Now, they just roll their eyes.
    When we are at home during the school year, we sometimes think that it would be nice to set aside one evening a week for a family game night. Great idea, but it just never happens. Life with children is too busy. They are on the go, or we have other places to be and more important things to do.
    At the cottage there is always time, and sitting around the table with the whole family and an old board game remains a wonderful way to spend it.
    Never turn your back on your sister.
    Cottage Guests
    It doesn’t matter how well you know them, cottage guests will always change when they come to your summer abode. Typically, there are three main types. There are those who show up with a sporting goods store strapped to their SUVs. They have canoes or kayaks, water skis and wakeboards, fishing rods, snorkelling gear, and baseball gloves. These active guests are up every morning at 6:00 a.m., and don’t stop all weekend. They energize you. They tire you out.
    Then there are the guests who park their backsides in the sitting room or on the dock and act like they are visiting some swank, four-star, all-inclusive resort. They like to say things like, “My beer is empty,” “I’m hungry, when is lunch usually served?” and “You should build yourself a little trolley — it would make it easier for you to bring down all those appetizers and drinks, and save you some trips.” They are always on time for dinner, and afterwards, while you clean up, they take the canoe out for a romantic evening paddle. “You should try it,” they say.
    Finally, there are the guests who immediately fall in love with the place, constantly smiling and shaking their heads in wonder. They are immediately at ease and totally comfortable in their surroundings. They like to read, and they tend to enjoy the simple things in life. They also like to help out with cottage projects, daily chores, and in cooking meals. Meal preparation becomes a social, fun time, with everyone getting involved. Some will volunteer to take charge of a homemade pizza night or some ethnic-themed meal.
    While these visitors quickly fall into the relaxation mode, the others remain nervous and fidgety, having had to leave their workplace technology behind. They are out of their comfort zones, without their cellphones, laptops, and BlackBerries. In fact, they do not know what else to use their hands for. You find them nervously pacing around the dock in the morning, stretching and flexing their thumbs. During the drive home they check every kilometre to see if they are “back in range,” and when they miraculously re-enter this connected zone, they immediately fall silent, all their concentration focussed on their techno addictions.
    The children also like to invite their own young friends to spend some time at the cottage. Some are bored — “There is nothing to do!” Translation: they miss their cellphones, computers, video games, and text messages. These might remain friends, but they are city friends. The kids seem to have an innate ability to recognize the friends