Read Online Complete New Tales of Para Handy by Stuart Donald - Free Book Online Page A

and pented oot the name o’ the shup on the stern and pented on Cutty Sark instead! And the local paper printed a piece sayin’ the vessel should be caalled the Bad Penny because she kept comin’ back, and that if we stayed ony longer we’d chust as well get a Cooncil licence to give roond-the-bay trups to towerists!”
    Sunny Jim turned to the engineer. “Whit about you, Dan?” he asked, “wi’ you goin’ foreign for so mony years you must have seen some sights!”
    â€œThe worst experience I can mind wis nothin’ to dae wi’ a storm either,” offered Macphail. “I wis an apprentice at the time, on a Union Castle liner tae Capetoon, and we lost the propeller aff the shaft aff the Skeleton Coast. There wisnae a dam’ thing we could dae aboot it. There wis no wireless in them days, of course, so we jist had tae wait till anither shup appeared, and then hope she could gi’e us a tow.
    â€œThere wisnae a breath o’ wund, and the sea jist like glass, but there wis a swell ye wudnae believe unless ye saw it! The sea had a run o’ thoosands o’ miles frae Sooth America tae build up a swell, and it wis like a roller-coaster at Hengler’s but mich, mich bigger. The taps o’ the waves wis aboot a mile apart, and aboot a hundred feet high! When ye were doon in the troughs you couldnae see a thing but the slope o’ the swell either side. We went up and doon and up and doon jist like a twenty thoosand ton yo-yo, and at the same time she wis daein’ that, she wis rollin’ like a pendulum, and the maist o’ the passengers wis that ill they thocht they wis deein’.
    â€œIn fact some o’ them hoped they wis deein’. I wis on the poop deck wan evenin’ and there wis a poor cratur hingin’ ower the rail, jist as green as grass, and I said to him, no’ tae worry, naebody ever died o’ the sea-sickness.
    â€œHe gave me a look I’ll never forget, and groaned ‘Dinna say that, boy, for peety’s sake: it’s only the hope o’ deein’ that helps me tae keep goin’ !’
    â€œWhen we finally got a tow in, the swells wis that deep that there wis times the shup that wis pullin’ us jist disappeared frae sight completely: ye couldna even see the taps o’ her masts!”
    Dougie, a notoriously timid sailor and a man who had spent his entire career on the puffer routes in the west, shuffled his feet and looked uncomfortable when Jim swung round and looked enquiringly in his direction.
    â€œYou needna be askin’ Dougie,” said Para Handy, “for he hass nothin’ at aal to tell you aboot the perils o’ the deep. Whiles some of us hass been stravaigin’ across the oceans o’ the world — I’ve been to Ullapool masel’, and twice to Belfast — here iss a man who could be feart for hiss life crossin’ on the Govan Ferry on a summer’s afternoon! Iss that no’ right, Dougie?
    â€œOnyway, while you’re tryin’ to think up some heroic tale for the laad, I will chust tak’ a dash up to Harbour House and see what my old friend the Piermaster is thinkin’ the weather might be doin’, for if we are to be marooned mich longer we wull have to speak nicely to his good-wife aboot the len’ o’ some proveesions.”
    And the Captain pulled on his heavy oilskin coat and clambered up the companionway and out into the wild of the storm.
    â€œHe thinks he iss very funny,” said the embarrassed mate, “but I have a story for you Jum, for aal that: and by the time I’ve finished tellin’ it Para Handy wull be sorry he needled me in the first place!
    â€œThe worst conditions that ever I experienced had nothin’ at aal to do wi’ the weather — but a very great deal to do wi’ a certain steam-lighter Captain!
    â€œBefore oor time on the Vital Spark , Jum, Para Handy and