flinching.
Deep in her gut, under her skin, McKenna knew she wouldn’t be able to say the same where Ren was concerned.
The driver pulled up in front of her house and got out to help her. She took his hand, grabbing him tightly when she almost lost her footing on the snow-slicked ground. They went through the routine of him escorting her to her door, opening it, and stepping inside to check things out before he nodded to her and left her there.
Inside the warmth of her house, McKenna threw off her coat and gloves, scarf too. She ensured the door was locked then made her way outside into the backyard already blanketed with snow.
She needed to think, needed to breathe, so she sat down on the rickety swing, creaking with every breath she took. The cold metal seared through the material of her jeans and chilled her butt. She kicked off gently, rocking back and forth as snow fell all around her, quiet. Reverent. The cold numbed her fingers and her nose, hell, her toes too, but McKenna didn’t move.
Maybe she couldn’t.
Dusk gave way to the night and the moon appeared, glowing down on her like a spotlight. Or maybe a microscope. Her eyes and sinuses burned, but she didn’t bother checking her numb face to see if the tears pilled over. It didn’t matter. Her needs and wants didn’t matter. Not anymore. She had to make sure her mother was okay. Despite her shitty childhood, McKenna could always count on her mother, her presence, her warmth, her love. Regardless of their lifestyle, she'd never doubted her mother’s love. Never doubted that when push came to shove, she’d always have someone around who loved her.
She didn’t need anything else but that.
Now all her security was gone, blown to bits with a few careless words. Her mother had grown attached to the mark. She’d allowed emotions to play a role in her decision making, something she’d warned McKenna against countless times, and now they’d both been sentenced to a life of confinement. The technicalities of how and why didn’t matter.
Location didn’t matter.
She’d always led a solitary life, but now more than ever, McKenna wished she’d taken the time to make some friends. She’d have people to talk to, to share her burdens with. But she hadn’t, and now she didn’t. Besides, no one could help dig her out of the grave she’d thrown herself into. Ren didn’t count. She wanted him for more than just a hand out of a sticky situation.
What did she even know about him? Nothing. His name, if it was his name, didn’t help. He was trying to do something good, help someone out. What had she done to help anyone lately?
“McKenna.”
She might have moved at the sound of her name, McKenna couldn’t be sure. The frigid cold had seeped into her pores, slowing everything down. Ren’s voice echoed in her head. Had she dreamt that?
She lifted her head, turned to the right, and he was there, striding toward her in long steps.
“McKenna.”
She dropped her head before their gazes connected. She didn’t want to see the disgust he surely felt, didn’t want to see the condemnation.
He knelt before her, rubbing his huge palms up and down her numb thighs. “Goddamn it, McKenna. Why are you out here?” Worry roughened his words.
McKenna hung her head. She didn’t want him looking at her, seeing the real her, and judging.
He cupped her nape and turned her face upward. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Shit.” He swore under his breath then rose halfway and scooped her up. She couldn’t feel her arms, but McKenna lifted them anyway and circled his neck. His musk reached her nose—faint sweat, hot skin, and cologne with a hint of something spicy. He entered the house and banged the kitchen door closed. He stopped right there and placed her on her feet.
“Let’s get your boots off.”
With her propped against the door, he shrugged out of his jacket, flipped his hood off, and slid down to the floor. On his knees, he lifted first one foot, then the
Deep in her gut, under her skin, McKenna knew she wouldn’t be able to say the same where Ren was concerned.
The driver pulled up in front of her house and got out to help her. She took his hand, grabbing him tightly when she almost lost her footing on the snow-slicked ground. They went through the routine of him escorting her to her door, opening it, and stepping inside to check things out before he nodded to her and left her there.
Inside the warmth of her house, McKenna threw off her coat and gloves, scarf too. She ensured the door was locked then made her way outside into the backyard already blanketed with snow.
She needed to think, needed to breathe, so she sat down on the rickety swing, creaking with every breath she took. The cold metal seared through the material of her jeans and chilled her butt. She kicked off gently, rocking back and forth as snow fell all around her, quiet. Reverent. The cold numbed her fingers and her nose, hell, her toes too, but McKenna didn’t move.
Maybe she couldn’t.
Dusk gave way to the night and the moon appeared, glowing down on her like a spotlight. Or maybe a microscope. Her eyes and sinuses burned, but she didn’t bother checking her numb face to see if the tears pilled over. It didn’t matter. Her needs and wants didn’t matter. Not anymore. She had to make sure her mother was okay. Despite her shitty childhood, McKenna could always count on her mother, her presence, her warmth, her love. Regardless of their lifestyle, she'd never doubted her mother’s love. Never doubted that when push came to shove, she’d always have someone around who loved her.
She didn’t need anything else but that.
Now all her security was gone, blown to bits with a few careless words. Her mother had grown attached to the mark. She’d allowed emotions to play a role in her decision making, something she’d warned McKenna against countless times, and now they’d both been sentenced to a life of confinement. The technicalities of how and why didn’t matter.
Location didn’t matter.
She’d always led a solitary life, but now more than ever, McKenna wished she’d taken the time to make some friends. She’d have people to talk to, to share her burdens with. But she hadn’t, and now she didn’t. Besides, no one could help dig her out of the grave she’d thrown herself into. Ren didn’t count. She wanted him for more than just a hand out of a sticky situation.
What did she even know about him? Nothing. His name, if it was his name, didn’t help. He was trying to do something good, help someone out. What had she done to help anyone lately?
“McKenna.”
She might have moved at the sound of her name, McKenna couldn’t be sure. The frigid cold had seeped into her pores, slowing everything down. Ren’s voice echoed in her head. Had she dreamt that?
She lifted her head, turned to the right, and he was there, striding toward her in long steps.
“McKenna.”
She dropped her head before their gazes connected. She didn’t want to see the disgust he surely felt, didn’t want to see the condemnation.
He knelt before her, rubbing his huge palms up and down her numb thighs. “Goddamn it, McKenna. Why are you out here?” Worry roughened his words.
McKenna hung her head. She didn’t want him looking at her, seeing the real her, and judging.
He cupped her nape and turned her face upward. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Shit.” He swore under his breath then rose halfway and scooped her up. She couldn’t feel her arms, but McKenna lifted them anyway and circled his neck. His musk reached her nose—faint sweat, hot skin, and cologne with a hint of something spicy. He entered the house and banged the kitchen door closed. He stopped right there and placed her on her feet.
“Let’s get your boots off.”
With her propped against the door, he shrugged out of his jacket, flipped his hood off, and slid down to the floor. On his knees, he lifted first one foot, then the
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