Read Online Coincidences by Maria Savva - Free Book Online Page B

front of her. As she pulled out a tissue, the box
fell onto the floor. Roger picked it up and looked at her sympathetically.
Stephanie felt that he was inwardly laughing at her. He was treating her as he
always did every time she had an idea; as if she was a little girl, unable to
make decisions about anything.
    ‘Now, let’s forget about all
this, shall we?’ He seemed pleased with himself.
    Stephanie took a deep breath.
‘There is someone who is willing to have a child for us; so it’s not a crazy
idea. I’m not just going to forget about it.’ She sat back on the sofa, folding
her arms, and waited for his response.
    ‘You’re not thinking
straight, darling.’ Roger stood up, he seemed agitated, restless. ‘You are
asking me to have a baby with someone I’ve never even met.’
    ‘It’s not as if you have to
sleep with her. You just donate your sperm.’
    He turned to face her, and
looked directly in her eyes, making her feel uncomfortable with his hard stare.
‘I won’t do it,’ he said, angrily, folding his arms and sitting back down on
the sofa. He leaned forward and picked up his cigarette packet from the coffee
table, his hands shaking.
    When he had leaned back
again, Stephanie touched his arm: ‘Roger, dear, I want you to do this for me.
For us. I want a child; our child. You said you don’t want to adopt; well, this
way, the child will be yours.’
    ‘Why should I have to pay
someone to give me my own child? We can’t afford to pay out money to this
woman.’ He lit his cigarette and shrugged Stephanie's hand away from his arm.
He blew out a circle of smoke, then turned to face her, his dark eyes narrowed:
‘If we could have had a child of our own, it would have been great. But we
can’t. Just face it. We can’t do something like this, it’s wrong.’
    ‘No, you’re wrong. It’s the
perfect solution.’ Her voice came out high-pitched. She felt a frantic need to
find a way to convince him. It was as if she was holding on to a fraying piece
of rope, her dreams tied to the end; she had to pull in the rope before it
snapped, and he had to help her. But his eyes were distant. There was no
emotion in his gaze. It was as if he had given up and decided she was foolish.
    He leaned back on the sofa
and took a deep drag from his cigarette. She watched as he exhaled the smoke in
front of him, staring blankly ahead, but she could see his mind ticking away
trying to think of what he could say to her. Eventually he spoke, without
looking at her.
    ‘This is the maddest thing
you’ve ever thought of. Sometimes I wonder what is going on in that head of
yours. All you can think about is having a baby. Baby, baby, baby. Blah, blah,
blah.’ Then he turned towards her, irritation showing in his eyes. ‘I didn’t
say anything before, because I know it was hard for you to hear that you can’t
have children. I thought in time you’d come to accept it, but no; you just keep
wittering on and on and on like a broken record. Well, I’m sick of it.’ He
stood up as the ash from the end of his cigarette fell onto the cream carpet.
He stubbed the cigarette out into an ashtray and folded his arms in front of
him looking down his nose at her. ‘You should know that if God had wanted you
to have children, you wouldn’t be bloody infertile!’
    Stephanie gasped. ‘How dare
you! You... You... insensitive... bastard!’
    Roger looked suitably
embarrassed. ‘Sorry,’ he said, under his breath. ‘I shouldn’t have said that,
but—’
    ‘This is the most important
thing to me, and all you can do is mock me,’ she said through sniffs and tears.
‘You just don’t love me anymore; that’s the real problem, isn’t it?’ She looked
up at him, her green eyes full of tears.
    He handed her a tissue and
sat down beside her: ‘You’re losing touch with the real issue here, Steph.
You’re losing your grip on reality.’
    ‘What—’
    ‘Let me finish,’ he said,
agitated. He looked at her and smiled a sad smile.