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Authors: Iii Carlton Mellick
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them.
“Why are people laughing, Daddy?” Mandy asked.
“Because they’re really happy, baby,” Earl said.
When they ran into Hats Rizzo, he was hiding behind a lifeboat. His acid squirt gun hadn’t been fired at all.
“Where’s Jackie?” Vinnie asked Hats as he pulled him out of hiding.
“How the heck should I know?” Hats said. “He never made it up the rope.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Last time I saw him he was swimming back to shore.”
“Have you seen Coco de Merde?”
“Does he have yellow hair and a brown trench coat?”
“Yeah.”
Hats Rizzo pointed over his shoulder. “Then I think he’s right behind you.”
Vinnie turned around to see the sunny-haired scumbag leading a group of French clowns across the deck, searching for the intruders who’d killed his men. The Bozos ducked behind the lifeboat where Hats had been hiding.
“What do we do?” Earl asked.
“We’re going to have to run for it,” Vinnie said.
“There’s at least twenty of them. We’ll never make it. Not with my daughters.”
Vinnie looked at the condition of the vet’s teenage daughter. She was still in bad shape, barely conscious. They weren’t going to be able to run very fast.
“You still got your emergency pie?” Vinnie asked Hats.
“Yeah, right here.” Hats removed his pimp hat to reveal a small mincemeat pie resting on top of a miniature cowboy hat. “I’ve been saving it for an emergency.”
“Well, it’s an emergency.” Vinnie took the pie from Hats. He nodded at Earl. “Get ready.”
Chapter 26
When Coco de Merde and his men came in range, Vinnie slid the mincemeat pie across the deck. It opened up like a package and a machine grew out of it and unfolded into a turret gun. How such a massive machine gun fit inside the pie, or how Hats was able to carry all that weight on his head, Earl had no idea. He plugged his youngest daughter’s ears as it opened fire.
“Now,” Vinnie yelled.
As the turret gun pie oscillated from side to side, emptying bullets into the French clowns, Earl and his daughters took off running in the opposite direction. Hats and Vinnie soon followed.
“Stop them!” Coco yelled to his men, but they were busy diving for cover or getting torn up by the blitzkrieg of bullets.
Coco did not jump for cover. He raised his hands into the air, moving them up and down, then side to side.
Earl looked back and saw the French clown’s movements. “What’s he doing?”
Bullets fired directly at Coco, but they didn’t hit him. They bounced off what appeared to be an invisible barrier.
Hats held on to his mini cowboy hat as he looked back at Coco. “He’s miming!”
“Just keep moving,” Vinnie said.
Coco de Merde continued miming the invisible wall until the turret gun ran out of bullets. Then he stepped forward, kicked the pie gun out of his way, and mimed something else with his hands.
“What’s he doing now?” Earl asked.
Hats cried, “He’s miming a machine gun!”
Bullets poured out of the invisible gun as Coco stepped toward them. Although there was no sound coming from the gun in his hands, they could hear the bullets as they whistled through the air and tore through the deck. Earl couldn’t move fast enough with his daughters. They had to duck for cover behind a cargo crate.
The French clown laughed. “I presume Don Bozo is still alive, no? His death was all a ruse?” Earl recognized his voice as the man he’d spoken with on the phone. This was definitely the guy who kidnapped his family. “Well, it’s no problem. I’m happy to settle for killing you, Mr. Blue Nose—street boss of the Bozo Family.”
While Coco was busy speaking, Vinnie stood from cover and fired two laughing bullets directly into the clown’s chest. Coco staggered back, looked down, then wiped the flattened slugs away. They hadn’t broken his skin. Vinnie aimed for Coco’s face and pulled the trigger, but the gun only clicked. He was out of ammo.
“Good thing I
“Why are people laughing, Daddy?” Mandy asked.
“Because they’re really happy, baby,” Earl said.
When they ran into Hats Rizzo, he was hiding behind a lifeboat. His acid squirt gun hadn’t been fired at all.
“Where’s Jackie?” Vinnie asked Hats as he pulled him out of hiding.
“How the heck should I know?” Hats said. “He never made it up the rope.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“Last time I saw him he was swimming back to shore.”
“Have you seen Coco de Merde?”
“Does he have yellow hair and a brown trench coat?”
“Yeah.”
Hats Rizzo pointed over his shoulder. “Then I think he’s right behind you.”
Vinnie turned around to see the sunny-haired scumbag leading a group of French clowns across the deck, searching for the intruders who’d killed his men. The Bozos ducked behind the lifeboat where Hats had been hiding.
“What do we do?” Earl asked.
“We’re going to have to run for it,” Vinnie said.
“There’s at least twenty of them. We’ll never make it. Not with my daughters.”
Vinnie looked at the condition of the vet’s teenage daughter. She was still in bad shape, barely conscious. They weren’t going to be able to run very fast.
“You still got your emergency pie?” Vinnie asked Hats.
“Yeah, right here.” Hats removed his pimp hat to reveal a small mincemeat pie resting on top of a miniature cowboy hat. “I’ve been saving it for an emergency.”
“Well, it’s an emergency.” Vinnie took the pie from Hats. He nodded at Earl. “Get ready.”
Chapter 26
When Coco de Merde and his men came in range, Vinnie slid the mincemeat pie across the deck. It opened up like a package and a machine grew out of it and unfolded into a turret gun. How such a massive machine gun fit inside the pie, or how Hats was able to carry all that weight on his head, Earl had no idea. He plugged his youngest daughter’s ears as it opened fire.
“Now,” Vinnie yelled.
As the turret gun pie oscillated from side to side, emptying bullets into the French clowns, Earl and his daughters took off running in the opposite direction. Hats and Vinnie soon followed.
“Stop them!” Coco yelled to his men, but they were busy diving for cover or getting torn up by the blitzkrieg of bullets.
Coco did not jump for cover. He raised his hands into the air, moving them up and down, then side to side.
Earl looked back and saw the French clown’s movements. “What’s he doing?”
Bullets fired directly at Coco, but they didn’t hit him. They bounced off what appeared to be an invisible barrier.
Hats held on to his mini cowboy hat as he looked back at Coco. “He’s miming!”
“Just keep moving,” Vinnie said.
Coco de Merde continued miming the invisible wall until the turret gun ran out of bullets. Then he stepped forward, kicked the pie gun out of his way, and mimed something else with his hands.
“What’s he doing now?” Earl asked.
Hats cried, “He’s miming a machine gun!”
Bullets poured out of the invisible gun as Coco stepped toward them. Although there was no sound coming from the gun in his hands, they could hear the bullets as they whistled through the air and tore through the deck. Earl couldn’t move fast enough with his daughters. They had to duck for cover behind a cargo crate.
The French clown laughed. “I presume Don Bozo is still alive, no? His death was all a ruse?” Earl recognized his voice as the man he’d spoken with on the phone. This was definitely the guy who kidnapped his family. “Well, it’s no problem. I’m happy to settle for killing you, Mr. Blue Nose—street boss of the Bozo Family.”
While Coco was busy speaking, Vinnie stood from cover and fired two laughing bullets directly into the clown’s chest. Coco staggered back, looked down, then wiped the flattened slugs away. They hadn’t broken his skin. Vinnie aimed for Coco’s face and pulled the trigger, but the gun only clicked. He was out of ammo.
“Good thing I
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