where he was with his arms raised by his chest.
“You should go,” she repeated.
Dan crooked his jaws and drew in a deep breath through his nose.
Without another word, he made his way out of the kitchen and stalked toward the door. Pausing right in front of it, he hesitated for a moment.
She closed her eyes and turned away from him. She couldn’t stand watching him leave, and she was afraid her will to send him away would dissipate.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Dan said, almost in a whisper.
She didn’t allow herself to turn around, but she could feel his eyes staring at her. This is better for everyone.
“Goodnight,” he muttered under his breath, opened the door, and stepped out.
She took in a ragged breath as the door clicked close. She staggered to the wall just as her legs lost all their strength.
With her back against the wall, she crumpled onto the floor. Tears streamed down her face while her hands cupped tightly over her mouth. She forced herself to breathe through her nose and soften her cries.
No one else was in the house. No one would hear her cry. It was simply a habit ingrained in her.
She didn’t grow up with the notion that wailing would bring about help and kind attentions from adults. Since she could remember, being seen crying was a sign of weakness, and any sign of weakness would make her a target.
She gasped and drew in small, rapid breaths, wiping away her tears. This is better for everyone. She repeated that thought over and over again in her head. She wasn’t suitable for a relationship, and it was never going to work anyway.
Even if she did tell him everything about her past, she couldn’t expect him to accept her when she couldn’t give him the future he desired.
Her hands dropped and she wrapped her hands across her abdomen. Again, she made herself breathe and calmed herself down.
She shut her eyes and drew in a shaky breath.
Stop crying. Crying doesn’t solve anything. She tried shoving all her feelings into a box and throwing it away, like she had done so many times when she was in the foster system.
There was no point crying, no one would help her.
There was no point feeling sad, nothing would change.
But she couldn’t.
She pulled her legs against her chest and hid her face between her knees as a new wave of hopelessness crashed against her.
A whimper escaped her throat and she immediately silenced herself.
Slowly, the palpitations faded. She picked herself off the floor and staggered back onto her couch. Picking up her cell phone, she called the only comfort she had left.
“Hey, Eve, feeling better?”
She didn’t answer Kate. She cleared her throat softly, making sure that her voice wouldn’t break before she asked, “Would you come over and stay tonight?”
“I’ll be there in half an hour.”
She hung up the phone without saying goodbye and pulled her fleece throw over her shoulders. It wasn’t a cold night. In fact, it was a warm, stuffy summer night, a night where even the occasional breeze brought nothing to relieve the heat within the house. Still, she couldn’t help shivering.
As she lay on the couch, she stared at the cell phone in front of her. Frustrated, she picked it up and sent the phone flying across the room. The phone smashed against the wall and fell heavily onto the floor. Turning her head away, she tossed onto her side and squeezed her eyes shut.
Though the phone wasn’t the cause of her problem, lately, it had become a reminder of how she’d never have a happily-ever-after that she was beginning to yearn.
She never imagined herself needing such a frivolous thing. To her, survival was the only thing she needed. She’d always worked to make sure she earned enough so that she would never require any help. Everything she’d done in life was to make sure she could survive on her own.
But nowadays, with each call came the reminder of what she could never have with Dan, and with each
“You should go,” she repeated.
Dan crooked his jaws and drew in a deep breath through his nose.
Without another word, he made his way out of the kitchen and stalked toward the door. Pausing right in front of it, he hesitated for a moment.
She closed her eyes and turned away from him. She couldn’t stand watching him leave, and she was afraid her will to send him away would dissipate.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Dan said, almost in a whisper.
She didn’t allow herself to turn around, but she could feel his eyes staring at her. This is better for everyone.
“Goodnight,” he muttered under his breath, opened the door, and stepped out.
She took in a ragged breath as the door clicked close. She staggered to the wall just as her legs lost all their strength.
With her back against the wall, she crumpled onto the floor. Tears streamed down her face while her hands cupped tightly over her mouth. She forced herself to breathe through her nose and soften her cries.
No one else was in the house. No one would hear her cry. It was simply a habit ingrained in her.
She didn’t grow up with the notion that wailing would bring about help and kind attentions from adults. Since she could remember, being seen crying was a sign of weakness, and any sign of weakness would make her a target.
She gasped and drew in small, rapid breaths, wiping away her tears. This is better for everyone. She repeated that thought over and over again in her head. She wasn’t suitable for a relationship, and it was never going to work anyway.
Even if she did tell him everything about her past, she couldn’t expect him to accept her when she couldn’t give him the future he desired.
Her hands dropped and she wrapped her hands across her abdomen. Again, she made herself breathe and calmed herself down.
She shut her eyes and drew in a shaky breath.
Stop crying. Crying doesn’t solve anything. She tried shoving all her feelings into a box and throwing it away, like she had done so many times when she was in the foster system.
There was no point crying, no one would help her.
There was no point feeling sad, nothing would change.
But she couldn’t.
She pulled her legs against her chest and hid her face between her knees as a new wave of hopelessness crashed against her.
A whimper escaped her throat and she immediately silenced herself.
Slowly, the palpitations faded. She picked herself off the floor and staggered back onto her couch. Picking up her cell phone, she called the only comfort she had left.
“Hey, Eve, feeling better?”
She didn’t answer Kate. She cleared her throat softly, making sure that her voice wouldn’t break before she asked, “Would you come over and stay tonight?”
“I’ll be there in half an hour.”
She hung up the phone without saying goodbye and pulled her fleece throw over her shoulders. It wasn’t a cold night. In fact, it was a warm, stuffy summer night, a night where even the occasional breeze brought nothing to relieve the heat within the house. Still, she couldn’t help shivering.
As she lay on the couch, she stared at the cell phone in front of her. Frustrated, she picked it up and sent the phone flying across the room. The phone smashed against the wall and fell heavily onto the floor. Turning her head away, she tossed onto her side and squeezed her eyes shut.
Though the phone wasn’t the cause of her problem, lately, it had become a reminder of how she’d never have a happily-ever-after that she was beginning to yearn.
She never imagined herself needing such a frivolous thing. To her, survival was the only thing she needed. She’d always worked to make sure she earned enough so that she would never require any help. Everything she’d done in life was to make sure she could survive on her own.
But nowadays, with each call came the reminder of what she could never have with Dan, and with each
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