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Authors: Lisa O'Donnell
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told him and I can’t be sent out of the house because it’s too dark and I can’t be sent to my room because Ma and Da are fighting on the stairs and blocking the way to my bedroom.
‘I felt someone else had to know. He won’t say anything. He’s a nice man. My work is suffering because of it. I don’t want to fail this course. I can’t fail. You’d like him. He’s a nice man.’
‘Your fancy man. I don’t think so.’
‘He’s ready for retirement, you stupid bastard.’
The room is silenced and Da really does feel like a stupid B-word.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I still think we need help with this. You’re running around like a fart in a trance. You can’t go on like this.’
I laugh because saying
fart in a trance
is funny to me.
‘Not in front of the boy, you two,’ says Granny.
They see me and smile. They feel bad. I’ll get money out of this for sure.
‘I know what I’m doing, Brian, but you have to trust me.’
‘I trust you, Rosemary, I worry for you. You can’t blame a man for that.’
Ma disappears into her room where she keeps the special pills that help her sleep. I found them looking for my da’s chewing gum. Ma told him his breath stinks and so he chews at it all day. For a minute I thought the pills were gum, a new kind, but Da was right behind me.
‘What you looking for, Michael?’
‘Some gum,’ I said.
‘Here you go,’ said Da, lifting some from the table.
‘Off you go,’ he said.
‘What are these?’ I said.
‘Pills to help Ma get some shut-eye, to help us all get some shut-eye, but don’t be touching them, all right? You’ll get poisoned. They’re not for children.’
Da said Ma’s teacher in Greenock helped her find them. Da was not pleased. He is afraid of men for Ma’s sake, but since she sleeps without screaming now he is also grateful, especially now he knows the teacher is old enough to marry my granny.
‘It is a good thing for us all,’ said Granny. ‘Your ma has to sleep.’
FIFTEEN
MA AND GRANNY roll their eyes when it is the summer holidays. They never know what to do with me. Neither does Da. We don’t go on holidays much. Other people do. They go to Butlins or visit relatives in Glasgow and act like it’s Mallorca or something. Some people actually go to Mallorca, like the McCabes. They love Mallorca and come back all brown and happy. Hairy McCabe is always showing off when she gets back about the fancy chewing gum you get in Spain, like we don’t have chewing gum here in Scotland, but everyone always crowds round her like it’s the best chewing gum the world has ever seen because it says ‘Chicle’. Then she talks about the price and it’s always really expensive, which makes her stupid for buying it as far as I’m concerned when she can get it for half the price at home, but it’s always amazing to everyone how much the chewing gum costs in Mallorca. It’s the same with Mars bars and Marathons, they cost pounds in Mallorca or so Hairy McCabe says. Mallorca is stupid. I like Rothesay best. We have beaches and every year the fair comes and we get goldfish. Mine always die after a few weeks but I don’t mind because the next year I’ll get a new one. I love the summer holidays, no one yelling at you to get out of bed, and it’s always nice and warm except when it’s raining and cold. Also the talent show is soon, but I can hardly look at Marianne Cameron right now. She is a different girl to me. I tell no one about the bushes and neither does she, she would die of shame and I wouldn’t blame her. What a show. Anyway, Dirty Alice would have said something if she knew and to everyone in the whole wide world most likely. Marianne acts like nothing has happened and sings even louder when I’m around. I try not to listen even when she’s really good and makes people open their doors and sit on their steps peeling their potatoes or carrots. Sometimes Skinny Rab will bring a fag out and listen against the wall next to
‘I felt someone else had to know. He won’t say anything. He’s a nice man. My work is suffering because of it. I don’t want to fail this course. I can’t fail. You’d like him. He’s a nice man.’
‘Your fancy man. I don’t think so.’
‘He’s ready for retirement, you stupid bastard.’
The room is silenced and Da really does feel like a stupid B-word.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I still think we need help with this. You’re running around like a fart in a trance. You can’t go on like this.’
I laugh because saying
fart in a trance
is funny to me.
‘Not in front of the boy, you two,’ says Granny.
They see me and smile. They feel bad. I’ll get money out of this for sure.
‘I know what I’m doing, Brian, but you have to trust me.’
‘I trust you, Rosemary, I worry for you. You can’t blame a man for that.’
Ma disappears into her room where she keeps the special pills that help her sleep. I found them looking for my da’s chewing gum. Ma told him his breath stinks and so he chews at it all day. For a minute I thought the pills were gum, a new kind, but Da was right behind me.
‘What you looking for, Michael?’
‘Some gum,’ I said.
‘Here you go,’ said Da, lifting some from the table.
‘Off you go,’ he said.
‘What are these?’ I said.
‘Pills to help Ma get some shut-eye, to help us all get some shut-eye, but don’t be touching them, all right? You’ll get poisoned. They’re not for children.’
Da said Ma’s teacher in Greenock helped her find them. Da was not pleased. He is afraid of men for Ma’s sake, but since she sleeps without screaming now he is also grateful, especially now he knows the teacher is old enough to marry my granny.
‘It is a good thing for us all,’ said Granny. ‘Your ma has to sleep.’
FIFTEEN
MA AND GRANNY roll their eyes when it is the summer holidays. They never know what to do with me. Neither does Da. We don’t go on holidays much. Other people do. They go to Butlins or visit relatives in Glasgow and act like it’s Mallorca or something. Some people actually go to Mallorca, like the McCabes. They love Mallorca and come back all brown and happy. Hairy McCabe is always showing off when she gets back about the fancy chewing gum you get in Spain, like we don’t have chewing gum here in Scotland, but everyone always crowds round her like it’s the best chewing gum the world has ever seen because it says ‘Chicle’. Then she talks about the price and it’s always really expensive, which makes her stupid for buying it as far as I’m concerned when she can get it for half the price at home, but it’s always amazing to everyone how much the chewing gum costs in Mallorca. It’s the same with Mars bars and Marathons, they cost pounds in Mallorca or so Hairy McCabe says. Mallorca is stupid. I like Rothesay best. We have beaches and every year the fair comes and we get goldfish. Mine always die after a few weeks but I don’t mind because the next year I’ll get a new one. I love the summer holidays, no one yelling at you to get out of bed, and it’s always nice and warm except when it’s raining and cold. Also the talent show is soon, but I can hardly look at Marianne Cameron right now. She is a different girl to me. I tell no one about the bushes and neither does she, she would die of shame and I wouldn’t blame her. What a show. Anyway, Dirty Alice would have said something if she knew and to everyone in the whole wide world most likely. Marianne acts like nothing has happened and sings even louder when I’m around. I try not to listen even when she’s really good and makes people open their doors and sit on their steps peeling their potatoes or carrots. Sometimes Skinny Rab will bring a fag out and listen against the wall next to
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