Read Online Close Encounters of the Third-Grade Kind by Phillip Done - Free Book Online

fell out.”
    Melanie often leaves letters out of her words. Once she wrote me a card that said, “Mr. Done, you are god.” I didn’t know
     if she meant I was a good teacher, or she really had a high opinion of me. Another day I stopped at her desk and glanced over
     her shoulder while she was writing. “Uh…” I pointed to one of the words. “What’s this word?”
    “Shirt.”
    “That’s what I thought you meant. You left out the
r,
honey.”
    After our trip to the nature reserve, Melanie wrote an elaborate story all about the food chain. She named all the shorebirds
     and snails and crabs and microorganisms.
    “Melanie, could you come up here please?”
    She skipped on up.
    “I love your story, sweetheart. You did such a good job.” I pointed to one of the words. “Can you read this for me, please?”
    “Organism.”
    “You left out the
n
and the
i,
honey.”
    “Ohhhhhh!”
    “You
have
to put the
n
and
i
in that word. It’s
very
important.”
    I’m not the only spelling teacher in class. My students like to teach me about spelling, too.
    “Mr. Done,” Christopher said one day, “spell
pig
backward. Then say ‘different colors’ real fast.”
    I didn’t think about it. (
Warning:
Never spell something out loud when a child asks you to without thinking it through.) “Okay,” I replied. “
G-I-P
different colors.”
    Hoots of laughter shot up to the ceiling. I stood there, staring at them all. Mouth apart.
Hold on please while I bang my head against a wall.
Finally, I spoke. “What is so funny?”
    “You… you pee in different colors!” Christopher declared, still cracking up.
    There went the ceiling again.
    I narrowed my eyes. “Where did you guys learn this?”
    “Everyone knows
that
!” Laura decreed in between laughs.
    Christopher leapt to his feet. “Mr. Done, spell
icup.
”
    I cast a sidelong glance and made a face. “I know this one.”
    “Please!” Christopher begged.
    I shook my head. I knew what would happen if I spelled it. There’d be complete chaos — utter pandemonium.
    “Please!” he pressed.
    “No.”
    “PLEASE!”
    “NO!”
    Everyone joined in. “PLEEEEEEEASE.”
    I looked out at their twenty upturned faces then let out a giant sigh. There are certain moments in teaching when the teacher’s
     best option is to just give in.
    “Okay,” I conceded.
“I-C-U-P.”
    Well, I was right. As soon as I said it, the class went into convulsions. A third of the kids jumped out of their chairs.
     Peals of uproarious laughter echoed in the room. It sounded like one giant tickle fight.
    “Okay, okay,” I said, trying to reel them back. “I hope you’re happy. Christopher, get back in your chair. Trevor, get off
     the floor. Kevin, breathe.” Then I walked to the board and wrote
htam.
“Christopher, spell this backward.”
    He spelled it out loud.
“M-A-T-H.”
    “Good,” I said. “Now everyone get your math books out. Spelling is over.”

THE TEACHER’S DESK
    O n Columbus Day, I tell my students about the discovery of America. Everyone knows the story, of course — how Christopher Columbus
     sailed the
Niña
,
Pinta
, and
Santa Maria
in 1492 in search of a shorter route to the Indies. Columbus kept a log during his voyage. He reported that when the wind
     was strong, his ships made a lot of progress. When it wasn’t, they made very little. As the weeks went on, the crew grew restless.
     Storms brought trouble. Supplies became limited. Some of the food went bad.
    I can’t help but think how much Columbus’s famous voyage parallels life in the classroom. In the beginning of the school year,
     teachers set their course. Some days we make a lot of progress. Some days we don’t. Our crews complain, too. Rain spoils recess
     plans. We run out of supplies. The food in the cafeteria isn’t very good, either.
    As I sat in the reading corner pointing out Columbus’s route on a map, Bob my principal walked in carrying a form for me to
     sign. When he saw that I was