Read Online Close: A New Adult Thriller by M.H. Young - Free Book Online
Authors: M.H. Young
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self-satisfied, rich boy asshole.
My second impulse would probably be the more acceptable among my colleagues. The first would get me fired. You didn’t get involved with vics. That was rule number one. So why did I want to break it for this girl? I so wanted to pull her to me and let her know it was all going to be alright. But I knew I couldn’t, and it was killing me.
I stood up. I had to get out of here. Get some fresh air and perspective. This was crazy. She’d just been raped, and here I was, a male officer, thinking of touching her. The only problem was that when she looked at me, I thought that she wanted it too.
“I’ll be right back, okay?”
I got up and got out of there. Before I said something, or worse, did something, that finished my career.
Eighteen: Laura
I walked outside into the California sunshine. People drove past, going to pick up their kids from school, or heading to business meetings, going about their regular day, while my world imploded around me. Standing there I wasn’t sure I would get Bentley’s voice out of my head. Because I’d been drugged, and only semi-conscious, what he’d done hadn’t seemed altogether real. Now it did. It seemed more than real. It was larger than everything else that everything else that had happened in my life, and that really scared me.
Drew trailed a few steps behind me as we walked. He had insisted on driving me back to my dorm, even though I would really have rather taken a cab. There was a chirp as he disabled the alarm and unlocked the doors with his key fob. He opened the passenger door for me and I got in. I wasn’t sure if he opened the door because he was a gentleman or because he was used to dealing with passengers who had their hands cuffed behind their back.
He got in the driver’s side, and we drove in silence, neither of us looking at the other. He felt guilty for persuading me to make the pretext call. He obviously thought I blamed him for having to go through with it. He was right. I did. I knew it wasn’t fair, that he was trying to do his best, but I couldn’t help myself. There was part of me, a big part, that wished I had never even told anyone. Perhaps it would have been better if I had just pretended that the whole thing had never happened.
Even as I was considering it, I knew I was kidding myself. Rape wasn’t something you could just ignore, like a bad hangover. But I couldn’t shake my feelings of anger and resentment at Drew.
We pulled up at a stop light. Drew glanced over at me. “I’m sorry, Laura. I really am. I shouldn’t have asked you to make that call.”
I could tell from the look on his face that he really meant it. His face looked drawn, his body was tense. For the first time he actually looked his age, and then some.
“I mean it,” he said. “I feel like I let you down. I just thought that if he admitted it on the phone, it would save you a lot of anguish.”
“It’s okay,” I said, immediately hating myself for saying it. It was a bad habit of mine. I always wanted to make people feel better, even when I was really pissed at them. The truth was it wasn’t okay. Nothing would ever be okay for me. Not for a long time anyway. I had a lot of anguish ahead of me; a lot of pain; a lot of everything.
The light flipped to green and we drove on. We kept driving through Santa Barbara. I could see the ocean beneath us. My mind flashed back to the beach house. The smell of that night was the smell of the ocean. It was another thing that he had taken from me.
My cell phone rang. John’s name flashed up. I could tell Drew was wondering if I was going to answer it but he didn’t say anything. I let it go to voicemail.
Drew must have seen the name on my screen because he said, “We’re going to have to speak to him. And your friend, Kishani.” He shrugged an apology with his swimmer’s shoulders. “It’s procedure in a case like this. We have to make sure their testimony lines up with your
My second impulse would probably be the more acceptable among my colleagues. The first would get me fired. You didn’t get involved with vics. That was rule number one. So why did I want to break it for this girl? I so wanted to pull her to me and let her know it was all going to be alright. But I knew I couldn’t, and it was killing me.
I stood up. I had to get out of here. Get some fresh air and perspective. This was crazy. She’d just been raped, and here I was, a male officer, thinking of touching her. The only problem was that when she looked at me, I thought that she wanted it too.
“I’ll be right back, okay?”
I got up and got out of there. Before I said something, or worse, did something, that finished my career.
Eighteen: Laura
I walked outside into the California sunshine. People drove past, going to pick up their kids from school, or heading to business meetings, going about their regular day, while my world imploded around me. Standing there I wasn’t sure I would get Bentley’s voice out of my head. Because I’d been drugged, and only semi-conscious, what he’d done hadn’t seemed altogether real. Now it did. It seemed more than real. It was larger than everything else that everything else that had happened in my life, and that really scared me.
Drew trailed a few steps behind me as we walked. He had insisted on driving me back to my dorm, even though I would really have rather taken a cab. There was a chirp as he disabled the alarm and unlocked the doors with his key fob. He opened the passenger door for me and I got in. I wasn’t sure if he opened the door because he was a gentleman or because he was used to dealing with passengers who had their hands cuffed behind their back.
He got in the driver’s side, and we drove in silence, neither of us looking at the other. He felt guilty for persuading me to make the pretext call. He obviously thought I blamed him for having to go through with it. He was right. I did. I knew it wasn’t fair, that he was trying to do his best, but I couldn’t help myself. There was part of me, a big part, that wished I had never even told anyone. Perhaps it would have been better if I had just pretended that the whole thing had never happened.
Even as I was considering it, I knew I was kidding myself. Rape wasn’t something you could just ignore, like a bad hangover. But I couldn’t shake my feelings of anger and resentment at Drew.
We pulled up at a stop light. Drew glanced over at me. “I’m sorry, Laura. I really am. I shouldn’t have asked you to make that call.”
I could tell from the look on his face that he really meant it. His face looked drawn, his body was tense. For the first time he actually looked his age, and then some.
“I mean it,” he said. “I feel like I let you down. I just thought that if he admitted it on the phone, it would save you a lot of anguish.”
“It’s okay,” I said, immediately hating myself for saying it. It was a bad habit of mine. I always wanted to make people feel better, even when I was really pissed at them. The truth was it wasn’t okay. Nothing would ever be okay for me. Not for a long time anyway. I had a lot of anguish ahead of me; a lot of pain; a lot of everything.
The light flipped to green and we drove on. We kept driving through Santa Barbara. I could see the ocean beneath us. My mind flashed back to the beach house. The smell of that night was the smell of the ocean. It was another thing that he had taken from me.
My cell phone rang. John’s name flashed up. I could tell Drew was wondering if I was going to answer it but he didn’t say anything. I let it go to voicemail.
Drew must have seen the name on my screen because he said, “We’re going to have to speak to him. And your friend, Kishani.” He shrugged an apology with his swimmer’s shoulders. “It’s procedure in a case like this. We have to make sure their testimony lines up with your
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