Chestnut Street

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Authors: Maeve Binchy
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startled by these questions. Not at all what he had expected, but what he
did
expect was of course impossible to imagine.
    “Yes, a bit at the beginning,” he said nervously. “But love will find a way. We’ll be able to steal precious time together, and we can share real thoughts, not talk about going to see cousins, and not a word about scholarships and the need to study.… It will be magical,” he finished off a bit unconvincingly.
    “Right,” I said. “You’re on. What will I do now—will I take a taxi to your place immediately so that we can get the value out of it while she is away, or would you prefer to come here? Thentomorrow we could snatch a few precious moments in a pub at lunchtime, and you could pretend to come in to the school to talk about Susie and you and I could pretend to be having a discussion in one of the classrooms and we could steal a few magical embraces there?” I was getting quite pleased by the thought of it all now, and quite looking forward to the adventure.
    Mr. Scott said, “… er, well.”
    “Oh, come
on
, Mr. Scott,” I said encouragingly. “You’ve been in love with me forever, you said, you think we’re made for each other, I think it’s a
great
idea. If we want to share real thoughts, and you want to hold me and look after me, then we shouldn’t waste any time getting started. I’m delighted you phoned me and I think it will all work out splendidly. You just give me your address, I’ll come along straightaway, and I’ll give your drunken friends a poetry book with the words of ‘The Listeners’ in it, and they’ll go home happily, and we’ll tidy ourselves away before Susie comes back from the disco. And we’ll have a great affair.”
    A change had come over Mr. Scott. He seemed less drunk. He also seemed less ardent. The walks in the country and the dinners in lovely places seemed to have receded.
    “Well,” he said. “What I was doing really was telephoning to tell you
one
aspect of my feelings for you. Just one. Of course there are many others, like great respect and admiration. My wife, you … er … remember my wife … she’s not here just now, she’s visiting her cousin, but she’ll be back tomorrow early, or even very possibly tonight. Yes, quite possibly tonight.… Well, my wife and I have often said that we think Susie is very lucky to have such a level-headed teacher as you, not a person who does reckless things, not a person who acts hastily. We need you, yes, need you for Susie’s education and her scholarships and … er … everything.”
    “Oh, very well, Mr. Scott,” I said in irritation. “Very well, we won’t have an affair then, if that’s what you’re getting at. I don’t mind. I can have an affair later on in the term, or perhaps aroundChristmas—that’s a good time for a bit of drama and tragedy.… No, stop apologizing—it’s perfectly all right. Just get rid of those drunks before Susie comes home, and tell Susie that she shouldn’t be out so late anyway—she has all those exams to think of. She should keep her dancing for the weekends when she doesn’t have school the next day. And in my view you should tidy up all those beer cans. When Mrs. Scott comes back from her cousin’s she won’t want the place looking like the back room of a pub.… Not at all—you’re perfectly welcome, Mr. Scott.… No, you didn’t disturb me at all—I wasn’t in bed. I’ve just come in, actually. I was wandering around the town trying to start an affair with somebody highly unsuitable, but it didn’t seem to work. But I can always try again tomorrow, if I don’t have too many marking exercises, or if I’m not holding some tragedy queen’s hand.”
    His voice was inarticulate with relief. I could barely hear what he said, but I decided to agree with him.
    “Yes, of course I was having my little joke, Mr. Scott—naturally I was. I’ve got an extraordinarily well-developed sense of humor, and I’m known as a

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