Cheating to Survive (Fix It or Get Out)

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Authors: Christine Ardigo
Tags: Fiction
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could not be sure. The pillow, soft and cuddly, she pulled the blanket closer to her ears and squished herself into a tight ball. “Catherine, can you pick up coleslaw and potato salad today? Catherine? Catherine!”
    “What?” she mumbled. The words tried to form in her dry, sleepy mouth.
    “I said can you please pick up coleslaw and potato salad today?”
    “Mmm.” The other side of the pillow, cold and soothing, she coasted back into her dream. Birds chirped merrily outside the window and reminded her of weekend mornings when she was a child. Comforted, she fell back to sleep.
     
    The last of her children hopped onto their school bus and her day off began. No husband, no children. Her standard plan for the day: cleaning. The house had to be spotless, she left nothing undone. She had a routine, and if accomplished, she would not have to clean like this again until the next time she worked the weekend, three weeks from now.
    Catherine secured a handful of Q-tips and maneuvered them into the crevices of every piece of furniture, including the moldings and paneling on the walls and doors.
    She vacuumed the entire house, lifting heavy furniture away from their familiar surroundings to find any hidden dust balls. There never was any, but today, a stray Cheerio hid behind the blue couch’s leg.
    Catherine selected crisp sheets for their four beds, but had to flip the mattresses first to prevent an unnecessary sagging. She opened her spiral notebook to determine which direction she last turned them. This time she would only have to twist them around one hundred and eighty degrees.
    With multiple loads of laundry churning, she cleaned windows, glass doors, mirrors and appliances. Had she dusted the chandeliers last month? She forgot to log it in her notebook. Once she folded the laundry, Catherine tossed the bathroom rugs into the washing machine and switched her attention to the three bathrooms.
    She organized Emily’s clothes in her closet in the sequence of when she last wore them and lined them up to reflect the days she had gym. Pants and skirts followed blouses in a prefigured pattern. The boys refused to let her touch their clothes anymore. She snuck in anyway and repositioned them so that the hangers all faced the same direction.
    Cushions overturned on couches, wood floors polished, the rest of the floors mopped. Blinds and curtains vacuumed. How could dust accumulate on blinds so quickly? With the dining room table polished, she saved the kitchen for last and climbed Peter’s metal ladder to scrub the white cabinets, the surrounding walls and the soffit. She untied the burgundy cushions from the kitchen chairs and decontaminated them in the washing machine as well.
    The house smelled like a muddled air freshener infused with lemon, bleach and floor wax. Seven hours after her children left for school, they returned home and homework began.
    Two hours later, Peter drove into the garage as the last of them took their showers. The door flung open and Emily ran to Peter’s arms. “Daddy!” she squealed.
    He picked her up and swung her in a large circle. “Did you pick up the food?” Peter asked, putting Emily down on the carpeting.
    “What?”
    “The coleslaw and potato salad, did you get it?”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “You’re joking right?” He slammed his hand down on the counter. “I asked you to pick it up this morning before I left.”
    “When? I don’t remember even speaking to you this morning.”
    “I asked you and you answered. Now I have to run out and get it.”
    “What’s wrong, mommy?”
    “Nothing Emily, why don’t you pick out a board game and I’ll play with you.” Emily scampered into the den and chose Mouse Trap of all games. Catherine scraped off the remains of her nail polish and examined the spotless floor.
    “The one thing I ask you to do and you can’t even do it. I work all day and now I have to go back out. Sorry to ruin your day off.”
    “My day off? I

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