anything?
Tall boy responds to his friend’s comment.
“Twenty-five quid—that’s cheap.”
Oh, I get it. I search through my pockets.
“Three pounds seventy, that’s all I’ve got. Twenty-three pounds seventy to bring the van back here.”
“Okay, the money is acceptable, but I’m not doing it until I know why.”
“Why what?” I’m fed up with people giving me peculiar looks.
“Why you want someone else to drive your van back here.”
I have no choice and I cannot think of a better story than the truth.
“So. So the thing is I really fancy this girl, woman, who works in the office building opposite, but I think if she happens to look out of her office window and sees me driving my company van she’ll think that I’m some kind of loser.” Sheesh, this is humiliating.
“Okay, it’s a deal. Give us the keys. What does the van look like?”
“It’s a white van with the company’s name, ‘ Shocking Connections’ , sign-painted down both sides.” I could swear I heard short-ass giggle.
“All right, we’ll get it and be back in two minutes.” They both turn to walk away, but I grab shorty by the shoulder.
“Oh no, your mate stays here with me.”
“For security like?”
“Dead right for security.” Shorty actually feels quite muscular. He shrugs and nods to signify his agreement to being held as a hostage.
“All right, George. I’ll be back in three minutes. If an alarm goes off, run like buggery.”
With those instructions delivered, he jogs off around the corner. It is a one-way system, so the van screams up behind us and in the opposite direction I am looking. Lofty hands me the keys.
“There we are—twenty-three pounds seventy please.”
“Brilliant. Here you are,” I say, handing the cash over, “as agreed…?” I do not know his name.
“Josh.”
“Thanks, Josh. I appreciate that and enjoy the Call of Duty game.”
He smirks at me.
“Ha, man, you are so out of touch. It’s been out for six weeks; you can pick them up for a tenner anywhere.” The cheeky bastards. “Oh, and I reckon it would be a good idea if you pulled your zip up. People have been staring at you since we’ve been here.”
Oh my God, no wonder! He still has a parting shot.
“And one more thing. George is county champion for under-eighteens at All-In Wrestling. He could have snapped you in two like a toothpick.”
I have been taken to the cleaners by a couple of school kids. If Buck had witnessed this, he would not trust me with a company bucket and mop. I need to have my confidence restored, so I make a phone call.
“Rob, any chance of meeting up tomorrow sometime for a beer?” It’s a coded message—neither of us drink beer.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
“God, I feel sick every time I think of it.” I exaggerate the deepness of my voice and mimic yesterday’s performance. “You shall be now and forever known as Jess. Daniel Pearson has spoken, and his is the word of one who must be obeyed.”
“I don’t think it is my place to say anything”—Rob has a job to lift his eyes from the pub table—“but what in the hell were you thinking?”
“I know. I know. What an absolute prat I am.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“But D, what else do you expect me to say? I cannot believe she didn’t smack you across the face. What a prat.”
“You’ve already said that.”
“Yeah but what a—”
“Okay, okay. So what shall I do?”
“If it was me, I’d start looking for a new girlfriend as soon as you can, because you’ve blown this one right out of the water.”
“Could you ring her for me?”
“Ooh, that sounds like a good idea.” His right hand moves up to the side of his head. “Hello, one now known as Jess. My master demands your attendance at a midnight ritual he holds every full moon.”
“You’re not taking this seriously.”
“I’m not the one who told a girl he fancies that she
S. E. Smith
Gene Gant
Colin Thubron
Sue Wyshynski
Lily Koppel
Mark Kelly
Jennifer Taylor
Ruby Shae
Katie de Long
Jami Brumfield