like he goes into the girls’ washroom all the time to probably feel some nameless girl up.
“Get out!” I grab a stray roll of toilet paper and chuck it at him.
He ducks. “What the fuck? I’m just checking up on you.”
“Yeah, right. Like you didn’t just get out of class and used this as an excuse.”
“Seriously though. You look like you’re going to faint.” He frowns. “Mrs. Henridge wants you to go to the nurse’s office.”
“I can go by myself later,” I reply curtly. “I don’t need you to escort me there.”
Adrian rolls his eyes. “Good. I was just going to say I’m not going to carry you.”
“I didn’t expect you to. God, you’re just so smug. I just feel like punching you across the face for the second time.”
“Ah, there’s the spirit.” He’s watching me in amusement.
Suddenly, the overwhelming feeling of loss and sadness threatens to swallow me alive. I double over and tears sting my eyes as I escape into a stall and throw up. I stagger back and lean my forehead against the cool white wall. I feel Adrian’s presence near me. The despair and hopelessness I’d felt since Mom’s death hit me again.
“Adrian, just leave me alone,” I say, huddling myself into a ball and rocking myself gently.
He turns as if to leave but hesitates. I look fiercely at him, wiping my mouth. “Just go!”
Adrian slowly comes closer, leaning down. When I don’t move away, he sits next to me, exhaling sharply. “Remember: I don’t listen to those below me.”
I snort, hiccupping.
His eyes look into me, hazily green. Then he pulls me into him and surprised, I find myself in his arms. I stiffen as I gaze into the nearby mirror, disoriented by the reflection of us embracing. He rests his head on top of my head and my face is in the crook of his neck.
I turn my head, then am taken aback to find his eyes so close to my face. Our breaths nearly merge. His lips are only a few centimetres from my face and his gaze dropped down to mine. I swallow, suddenly on edge.
I pull away, refusing to let myself…what?
He watches me. “Why do you keep pushing me away?”
“Why do you keep doing horrible things to me?” I counter angrily.
“Because I — “ He stops and stills . Then he shakes his head, getting up. Adrian looks at me for a long moment. Then he just turns and leaves.
chapter seven
AVENA
My breath forms fog in the dry air and it’s raining in a heavy downpour as I slosh through the courtyard, passing the stone columns and white pillars, toward my biology laboratory on the east wing. My third week at Eiernhill ends in a dewy bitterness. It’s morning and I didn’t bring an umbrella to school so my hair and clothes are soaked and soggy.
Then out of nowhere, the pouring rain stops for a moment. I look up, blinking water out of my eyes, and see Hayden holding a blue umbrella over me. “Hey,” I say, smiling. “Thanks. My hero.” I haven’t seen him for a while since Tuesday.
He snorts, smirking. “Your hero? Hardly. More like ass-saving stud.”
“You just killed the perfect moment,” I say, rolling my eyes, as I walk ahead of him.
Hayden lopes forward to catch up with my strides. An easy smile is on his face. His blond hair is tousled over his forehead, eyes sparkling, and his cheeks are red from the cold. “Seems like the old Ave is back.”
I turn. “So there’s a new me now?”
All the smiling is gone from his face. “Well--” He doesn’t say anything for a while as we pass a group of freshmen and head for the western wing. When we get to a secluded part of the school, he just says after a pause, “How are you dealing?” He knows that the funeral was brutal on me.
I swallow, feeling all of sudden that there are pieces of glass lodged in my throat. “I just don’t get it. How could they smile the next minute after trying to look pitying and saying that they’re sorry for the loss?”
“I know it’s
“Get out!” I grab a stray roll of toilet paper and chuck it at him.
He ducks. “What the fuck? I’m just checking up on you.”
“Yeah, right. Like you didn’t just get out of class and used this as an excuse.”
“Seriously though. You look like you’re going to faint.” He frowns. “Mrs. Henridge wants you to go to the nurse’s office.”
“I can go by myself later,” I reply curtly. “I don’t need you to escort me there.”
Adrian rolls his eyes. “Good. I was just going to say I’m not going to carry you.”
“I didn’t expect you to. God, you’re just so smug. I just feel like punching you across the face for the second time.”
“Ah, there’s the spirit.” He’s watching me in amusement.
Suddenly, the overwhelming feeling of loss and sadness threatens to swallow me alive. I double over and tears sting my eyes as I escape into a stall and throw up. I stagger back and lean my forehead against the cool white wall. I feel Adrian’s presence near me. The despair and hopelessness I’d felt since Mom’s death hit me again.
“Adrian, just leave me alone,” I say, huddling myself into a ball and rocking myself gently.
He turns as if to leave but hesitates. I look fiercely at him, wiping my mouth. “Just go!”
Adrian slowly comes closer, leaning down. When I don’t move away, he sits next to me, exhaling sharply. “Remember: I don’t listen to those below me.”
I snort, hiccupping.
His eyes look into me, hazily green. Then he pulls me into him and surprised, I find myself in his arms. I stiffen as I gaze into the nearby mirror, disoriented by the reflection of us embracing. He rests his head on top of my head and my face is in the crook of his neck.
I turn my head, then am taken aback to find his eyes so close to my face. Our breaths nearly merge. His lips are only a few centimetres from my face and his gaze dropped down to mine. I swallow, suddenly on edge.
I pull away, refusing to let myself…what?
He watches me. “Why do you keep pushing me away?”
“Why do you keep doing horrible things to me?” I counter angrily.
“Because I — “ He stops and stills . Then he shakes his head, getting up. Adrian looks at me for a long moment. Then he just turns and leaves.
chapter seven
AVENA
My breath forms fog in the dry air and it’s raining in a heavy downpour as I slosh through the courtyard, passing the stone columns and white pillars, toward my biology laboratory on the east wing. My third week at Eiernhill ends in a dewy bitterness. It’s morning and I didn’t bring an umbrella to school so my hair and clothes are soaked and soggy.
Then out of nowhere, the pouring rain stops for a moment. I look up, blinking water out of my eyes, and see Hayden holding a blue umbrella over me. “Hey,” I say, smiling. “Thanks. My hero.” I haven’t seen him for a while since Tuesday.
He snorts, smirking. “Your hero? Hardly. More like ass-saving stud.”
“You just killed the perfect moment,” I say, rolling my eyes, as I walk ahead of him.
Hayden lopes forward to catch up with my strides. An easy smile is on his face. His blond hair is tousled over his forehead, eyes sparkling, and his cheeks are red from the cold. “Seems like the old Ave is back.”
I turn. “So there’s a new me now?”
All the smiling is gone from his face. “Well--” He doesn’t say anything for a while as we pass a group of freshmen and head for the western wing. When we get to a secluded part of the school, he just says after a pause, “How are you dealing?” He knows that the funeral was brutal on me.
I swallow, feeling all of sudden that there are pieces of glass lodged in my throat. “I just don’t get it. How could they smile the next minute after trying to look pitying and saying that they’re sorry for the loss?”
“I know it’s
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