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out laughing, leaning
back to prop himself on an elbow.
"For real?"
"I know. Cheese alert,
right? I tried to convince her to move it to the
17 th ."
Beth batted her eyelashes and twisted a bare shoulder his way. "I
will be a lovely bridesmaid, of course." She tried to smile,
despite the pain of talking about someone else's
wedding.
"Of course," he said quietly, his eyes
focused on the baseball diamond in front of them.
The sat in silence, watching the two
baseball teams rearrange players in order to even things out again.
Most years Oz was traded back and forth to even out the teams.
"You're not playing today?" she asked,
casting Oz a sidelong look.
He shook his head.
"Why not?"
He shrugged.
"What's up with the teddy bear?"
Oz rubbed its blue ear. "Habit."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Charity, I guess." Beth reminded herself
that she didn't need another teddy bear. A token of Oz's affection,
yes. But another bear, no. "What's that one you always give
to?"
"I give them to whichever kid has been in
the hospital overnight. If there isn't anyone, I give them to Katie
and she passes it on."
They sat in silence for a moment. "I heard
you got your car fixed at the shop?"
"In April, yes." She turned to him, hoping
to see a look of pleased relief on his face. Instead she saw pain.
"What?"
"Why didn't you come see me?"
"Because you're... busy. And I can get
things done on my own." Plus, she didn't want to spend their
precious weekly check-in talking to whatever part of his body was
sticking out from under her car. Not being able to see his face
made it difficult to gauge how he was feeling about his life and
their relationship.
He tilted his head. "You don't want me to
work on your car?"
"Oz, we only see each other for an hour a
week. I can't expect you to fix my car. Paying someone else to fix
my car is a small price to pay for you having a little extra time
to figure things out."
Oz leaned back on his elbows and studied her
for a moment. "You're different."
"No, I'm not." She shook her head, her
ponytail tickling the back of her neck.
"You are. I think you needed a break,
too."
"I most certainly did not!" Beth stood up,
dusting off her bottom. "Just because I'm not sitting around and
only having a life if it's with you. And just because and I'm out
there trying to wrestle life by the horns, it doesn't mean any of
this is good." Oz popped up from his spot on the ground and she
raised her voice. "And like you're one to talk about changing. What
have you done over the past three months other than drink more beer
than usual? This was supposed to be time apart so you could find
yourself! You're wasting my life. You aren't even going in to
work!"
"Ed is taking care of my clients so I can
think."
Beth tried to hold her ground when Oz
stepped closer, his nostrils flaring slightly. She couldn't help
but wish he'd kiss her even though they were starting what was sure
to be a good fight that would blow out all the frustration she was
feeling. "Of course he is! He's your direct competition! He's going
to take your clients. It's irresponsible and—"
Chest to chest, Oz's warm breath blew over
her. "You know what's irresponsible? Going to the office and not
taking care of myself. My needs."
"And what exactly are
your needs , Oz?"
She leaned back and poked him in the chest. "You think you're
important enough you can screw over everyone who depends on you?
Why don't you just waltz around town saying, 'Sorry, this is me time , folks' then sit
at home and do nothing ? How many people do you have waiting in limbo because you're
a big chicken shit who can't dump what he doesn't want any longer
and move on?"
Oz grabbed her wrist and held her body tight
to his. "Don't push me Beth. Don't make us say things we'll both
regret. I'm trying. You have to trust me." He held her chin in his
hand, his gaze softening. "Do you trust me?" he whispered.
She sniffed back tears and nodded, even
though she didn't want to. She just want
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