Read Online Chain Lightning by Elizabeth Lowell - Free Book Online
Authors: Elizabeth Lowell
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found off mainland Southern California’s heavily populated and often heavily polluted shores. The honeymoon had been one of the happiest times of Mandy’s life, despite the fact that the pleasures of marital sex hadn’t lived up to their advance billing. The ocean had more than compensated for the awkwardness she felt during her husband’s swift, turbulent lovemaking.
The novelty of her sexual inexperience had quickly worn off for both herself and her husband, leaving little to take its place but her efforts to understand what had gone wrong. The ocean’s novelty had never worn off for Mandy. The siren call of the green-shadowed depths sank more deeply into her soul with each dive.
At least we have that in common, Mandy thought.
The insight startled her. She and Andrew had a lot more in common than diving, didn’t they? He had been her faculty adviser while she got her Ph.D. in oceanography. He had encouraged her, respected her work, tried to seduce her repeatedly and unsuccessfully and had ultimately married her on his fortieth birthday. His second marriage. Her first. The fact that there had been no children from the first marriage had reassured Mandy at first; Andrew’s demanding schedule left little enough time for a wife, much less for children.
But Andrew wanted children. Desperately. Mandy hadn’t been ready for immediate motherhood. She had wanted time to adjust to juggling marriage and her burgeoning career as an ocean resource specialist for the state of California. Yet before her marriage was more than a few months old, fights had begun over when to have children, fights that left Mandy angry and crying and confused. In all the time before their marriage, she and Andrew had talked of their joint careers, of exploring the oceans of the earth together, of teaching and dissertations and the color of the sea fifteen fathoms down on a sunny day.
Never once had Andrew mentioned wanting children at all, much less immediately after marriage. Just as Mandy had naively assumed that sex would be wonderful after marriage, she had assumed that Andrew shared her desire that she establish herself in her field before she took a leave of absence to have children. She had been wrong. Andrew had wanted her to throw away her pills the day they were married. The fact that she had just been given an important grant to study the dietary habits of the Pacific sea otter had meant nothing to Andrew. The fact that her work might ultimately be used to determine whether or not that endangered species survived had also left him unmoved. He had wanted her pregnant, period. Everything else came second.
Mandy had thrown her pills away the day her work on the otters was complete. She had assumed that her marriage would improve immediately. And it had, until her period came.
After her third period had come, she had gone in to see her doctor, received a thorough checkup and been told to come back in nine months if she hadn’t conceived. Nine months later she had returned. After an exhaustive series of tests it had been determined that her fertility was all that it should be and then some. She was told to send her husband in for tests.
Andrew had flatly refused.
It doesn’t matter now, Mandy told herself, pedaling fiercely. I’m almost two months pregnant and everything is all right. I can tell Andrew and see him smile at me again. He’ll be a good father – God knows he really wants children, which is more than you can say for a lot of men.
The thought of their future baby made Mandy smile and then laugh. She couldn’t wait to feel the baby move, to give birth and to hold the baby in her arms, to teach her child to swim and to read and to ride a bike, to share with her child the beauty and mystery of the shimmering sea. She couldn’t wait to tell Andrew, either, to see his delighted smile, to know mat she had finally given him something he desperately wanted.
Anticipation made Mandy impatient with the miles between herself
The novelty of her sexual inexperience had quickly worn off for both herself and her husband, leaving little to take its place but her efforts to understand what had gone wrong. The ocean’s novelty had never worn off for Mandy. The siren call of the green-shadowed depths sank more deeply into her soul with each dive.
At least we have that in common, Mandy thought.
The insight startled her. She and Andrew had a lot more in common than diving, didn’t they? He had been her faculty adviser while she got her Ph.D. in oceanography. He had encouraged her, respected her work, tried to seduce her repeatedly and unsuccessfully and had ultimately married her on his fortieth birthday. His second marriage. Her first. The fact that there had been no children from the first marriage had reassured Mandy at first; Andrew’s demanding schedule left little enough time for a wife, much less for children.
But Andrew wanted children. Desperately. Mandy hadn’t been ready for immediate motherhood. She had wanted time to adjust to juggling marriage and her burgeoning career as an ocean resource specialist for the state of California. Yet before her marriage was more than a few months old, fights had begun over when to have children, fights that left Mandy angry and crying and confused. In all the time before their marriage, she and Andrew had talked of their joint careers, of exploring the oceans of the earth together, of teaching and dissertations and the color of the sea fifteen fathoms down on a sunny day.
Never once had Andrew mentioned wanting children at all, much less immediately after marriage. Just as Mandy had naively assumed that sex would be wonderful after marriage, she had assumed that Andrew shared her desire that she establish herself in her field before she took a leave of absence to have children. She had been wrong. Andrew had wanted her to throw away her pills the day they were married. The fact that she had just been given an important grant to study the dietary habits of the Pacific sea otter had meant nothing to Andrew. The fact that her work might ultimately be used to determine whether or not that endangered species survived had also left him unmoved. He had wanted her pregnant, period. Everything else came second.
Mandy had thrown her pills away the day her work on the otters was complete. She had assumed that her marriage would improve immediately. And it had, until her period came.
After her third period had come, she had gone in to see her doctor, received a thorough checkup and been told to come back in nine months if she hadn’t conceived. Nine months later she had returned. After an exhaustive series of tests it had been determined that her fertility was all that it should be and then some. She was told to send her husband in for tests.
Andrew had flatly refused.
It doesn’t matter now, Mandy told herself, pedaling fiercely. I’m almost two months pregnant and everything is all right. I can tell Andrew and see him smile at me again. He’ll be a good father – God knows he really wants children, which is more than you can say for a lot of men.
The thought of their future baby made Mandy smile and then laugh. She couldn’t wait to feel the baby move, to give birth and to hold the baby in her arms, to teach her child to swim and to read and to ride a bike, to share with her child the beauty and mystery of the shimmering sea. She couldn’t wait to tell Andrew, either, to see his delighted smile, to know mat she had finally given him something he desperately wanted.
Anticipation made Mandy impatient with the miles between herself
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