Read Online Carter Finally Gets It by Brent Crawford - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Brent Crawford
Tags: Fiction - Young Adult
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some funny-ass painkillers. If she could have stayed like that for the rest of her life, it would have been A-OK with me. And I know brain damage isn’t supposed to be hilarious, but she was like a drunk comedian; even the nurses were laughing. She kept yapping about “hot homeboys” and their “hot, hot dogs” and “strawberry milk shakes!” She was killing me, but my mom was crying because her daughter was babbling like a slutty tard in a hospital gown. For all we knew she was going to be like that permanently, but once those pills wore off, she was a raging bitch again.
Apparently Scary Terry’s parents were worried about their troubled son when he was in seventh grade and getting into too many fights, so they signed him up for karate classes to instill discipline in him, or some such crap. Another way to look at it is that you’ve taken a kid with anger issues and trained him to kill more efficiently. The only reason he’s not a black belt is because he’s always getting into fights with the owner of the karate school. I heard he wins sometimes, too.
12. Silent but Violent
I dust off my sister’s old bike for my date with Abby. It had tassels hanging from the handlebars until a couple of minutes ago, because although I’m secure enough to ride a hot-pink Schwinn girl bike (at night, as long as nobody sees), I’ll never be confident enough to ride anything with tassels.
I have enough lawn-mowing/college money to buy my ticket and Abby’s too, if she’s an old-fashioned type of girl. Which I hope she isn’t, because then I’ll have enough cash for the concession stand. EJ and I usually do the “double feature.” We pay for the first movie and then sneak into a second one. We always buy snacks as payment for the stolen screening, because who would stop somebody walking into a theater with a big tub of popcorn, Milk Duds, and a huge cherry Coke? It’s like we’ve just arrived! We’ve seen three movies in a row before, but it was tough on our ADD.
I ride the old pink Schwinn like a rented mule. If someone spots me, they may think, Is that Carter on a girl bike? But before they have a chance to confirm their hypothesis . . . I’m gone! If I were racing Lance Armstrong tonight, he would be losing. I blaze through red lights and stop signs. I’m about to blast past the Taco Bell when I slam on the brakes. I check my watch and realize that because of my breakneck pace, I’m going to be really early. And what if Abby isn’t into popcorn and Milk Duds? I’m going to get hungry, and my stomach will be growling when it’s time to kiss good night. I can definitely spare ninety-nine cents for a burrito. I bust through the drive-thru, and of course it’s a cute girl a little older than me who hands me the Burrito Supreme. She gives me kind of a laughy smile. Maybe she thinks I’m cute because I’m doing the drive-thru on a bicycle, or maybe she’s thinking I’ve escaped from a lunatic asylum and stolen this pink girl bike as my getaway vehicle. I break out before the Taco Belle can pass any more judgments. I wolf down the burrito in fourteen seconds, almost breaking EJ’s record, and ride off, fast. I lock up the pink cruiser in back of the theater and walk around front, to see Abby standing under the marquee looking super hot in a simple black dress.
“What’s up, Momma?” I ask, trying to sound like a rapper in a video. But I think it sounded really stupid as it came out, and I wish I could take it back.
“Just waitin’ on you, Daddy,” she replies with a level of cool I never knew a girl could possess.
“Wow, you look really great,” I say. “Are you going somewhere after this?”
She turns red. “Oh, Carter, you jerk! I’m totally overdressed! I knew I would be. . . .”
“No, I think you look awesome. I actually had a suit and tie in my fanny pack and was going to change into it, but then I remembered that fanny packs are gay and had to throw it out. I’m sorry,” I say.
She
Apparently Scary Terry’s parents were worried about their troubled son when he was in seventh grade and getting into too many fights, so they signed him up for karate classes to instill discipline in him, or some such crap. Another way to look at it is that you’ve taken a kid with anger issues and trained him to kill more efficiently. The only reason he’s not a black belt is because he’s always getting into fights with the owner of the karate school. I heard he wins sometimes, too.
12. Silent but Violent
I dust off my sister’s old bike for my date with Abby. It had tassels hanging from the handlebars until a couple of minutes ago, because although I’m secure enough to ride a hot-pink Schwinn girl bike (at night, as long as nobody sees), I’ll never be confident enough to ride anything with tassels.
I have enough lawn-mowing/college money to buy my ticket and Abby’s too, if she’s an old-fashioned type of girl. Which I hope she isn’t, because then I’ll have enough cash for the concession stand. EJ and I usually do the “double feature.” We pay for the first movie and then sneak into a second one. We always buy snacks as payment for the stolen screening, because who would stop somebody walking into a theater with a big tub of popcorn, Milk Duds, and a huge cherry Coke? It’s like we’ve just arrived! We’ve seen three movies in a row before, but it was tough on our ADD.
I ride the old pink Schwinn like a rented mule. If someone spots me, they may think, Is that Carter on a girl bike? But before they have a chance to confirm their hypothesis . . . I’m gone! If I were racing Lance Armstrong tonight, he would be losing. I blaze through red lights and stop signs. I’m about to blast past the Taco Bell when I slam on the brakes. I check my watch and realize that because of my breakneck pace, I’m going to be really early. And what if Abby isn’t into popcorn and Milk Duds? I’m going to get hungry, and my stomach will be growling when it’s time to kiss good night. I can definitely spare ninety-nine cents for a burrito. I bust through the drive-thru, and of course it’s a cute girl a little older than me who hands me the Burrito Supreme. She gives me kind of a laughy smile. Maybe she thinks I’m cute because I’m doing the drive-thru on a bicycle, or maybe she’s thinking I’ve escaped from a lunatic asylum and stolen this pink girl bike as my getaway vehicle. I break out before the Taco Belle can pass any more judgments. I wolf down the burrito in fourteen seconds, almost breaking EJ’s record, and ride off, fast. I lock up the pink cruiser in back of the theater and walk around front, to see Abby standing under the marquee looking super hot in a simple black dress.
“What’s up, Momma?” I ask, trying to sound like a rapper in a video. But I think it sounded really stupid as it came out, and I wish I could take it back.
“Just waitin’ on you, Daddy,” she replies with a level of cool I never knew a girl could possess.
“Wow, you look really great,” I say. “Are you going somewhere after this?”
She turns red. “Oh, Carter, you jerk! I’m totally overdressed! I knew I would be. . . .”
“No, I think you look awesome. I actually had a suit and tie in my fanny pack and was going to change into it, but then I remembered that fanny packs are gay and had to throw it out. I’m sorry,” I say.
She
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