Read Online Caramel Hearts by E.R. Murray - Free Book Online

Sarah too?” I say.
    â€œNo way! That stutter m-makes me s-s-sick,” says Maddy, and everyone laughs. Even me, though I don’t know why.
    * * *
    I can’t text Sarah or Hatty because my battery is dead. I should probably go home, but when Jack offers me some cider, I take it. I know I shouldn’t, but it’s not like I have any better plans. Every time Jack looks over from the group of lads he’s sitting with – Chris, and some guy called Macca who hasn’t even acknowledged me – I take another slug.
    It turns out Maddy and the girls aren’t as bad as Sarah makes out; they’re actually quite nice when you spend time with them. They do their best to include me at first, but after a while, they fall into their usual conversations and in-jokes; when Maddy, Zadie and Emma start talking about some new perfume I’ll never be able to afford, I leave them to it and find myself a quiet spot, equidistant from the lads and the lasses. The last thing I expect is for Jack to notice and follow me.
    â€œSo, what’s your mam like?” asks Jack.
    He’s a little bit wasted by now, and his voice slurs.
    â€œDunno,” I say.
    He laughs, globs of spit escaping his mouth. It doesn’t even make me feel sick. It could be the cider, or it could be the fact that he’s gorgeous and I’ve got him all to myself.
    â€œI used to sound like you. Don’t be embarrassed – my dad was a raging alky. Used to beat up my mam and stuff. It was a nightmare.”
    He shakes his head. The cider has made me brave – I wouldn’t dare sit and chat with him like this usually – and I wonder if this is the feeling Mam looks for when she drinks.
    â€œI used to dread him coming home,” continues Jack. “Now, I wish he would.”
    â€œYour dad’s not around?”
    â€œNo. Remember when I was getting into trouble all the time and being a complete idiot?” I nod. That’s when he started hanging around with Maddy. That’s when he suddenly got taller and his voice got deeper, and I really noticed him. “Mum booted him out. He kicked the booze, but there are some things you can’t make up for.”
    â€œI had no idea. Sorry…”
    I feel like reaching out, stroking Jack’s hand or face, but of course I don’t. This isn’t some romcom, this is real life. He’d probably push me away, disgusted.
    â€œIt’s OK. Mum didn’t deserve the beatings, and I couldn’t do anything to help her at the time, so it’s only right I should support her now. Your dad’s not around either, right?”
    â€œRight,” I say, spotting Maddy on her way over, and hoping that’ll end the conversation.
    â€œYou might not talk much, but you’re a dead good listener, Liv. Thanks,” says Jack.
    His words hang in the air. I shrug and take another swig, accidentally inhaling it so I start choking on the cider just as Maddy arrives.
    â€œWhat are we talking about?” asks Maddy, narrowing her eyes at me.
    She sits next to Jack, making sure her leg touches against his. He doesn’t move away.
    â€œAbsentee fathers and pissheads,” says Jack, and falls about with laughter.
    Maddy looks at him for a second, then starts falling about with laughter too. I have no choice but to join in.
    â€œWe can all relate to that,” says Maddy, and she takes Jack’s drink from him and has a big gulp, staring at me as she does so. “I thought we might be talking about how come Liv’s suddenly drinking. Wouldn’t take a drop off me the other night.”
    I feel my insides tremble and my stomach lurches. The cemetery turns wobbly, like the gravestones are ready to topple. I take a deep breath, but that just makes me feel even more sick.
    Jack laughs. “I guess I’m better company.”
    I try to protest, but before I know what’s happening, the cider is rushing back up my throat