front to my back and pulling up the blankets. It doesn’t get past me that his breathing is quite labored, as well.
“Bella?” he asks into my hair.
“Yeah?” The word comes out so breathy it’s laughable, but he doesn’t laugh.
“There’s shit going down, and I need you here. Need you safe. You’ve gotta stay here until all of it gets handled.” Out of all the words that just came from his lips, the ones I focus on are the unspoken. After it’s handled, I want you out.
I push the thought away and try not to let the hurt penetrate.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?” I’ve never asked Buzz about club business, because it is none of mine. But since he did call me on a whim, having me haul my ass here, I figure this is my time to ask.
“Just know that it’s not safe for you outside these gates right now. We’re going to have a full load coming in. I’m going to need you to help Princess and the rest of the ol’ ladies get shit sorted. I’m gonna be busy trying to fix this.”
My stomach falls a bit at the thought of being here and not being with him.
“But I’ll make it a point to see you.”
That makes me feel a little bit better. At least he can carve something out for me, and it will be nice to catch up with Casey. When she became GT’s ol’ lady, she got the name Angel. Some sort of rite of passage or something like that. I still didn’t understand everything. Hell, I barely understand anything, but I roll with it.
“Alright, but I’m a little scared that I can’t leave here. Is whatever’s going on that bad?”
“Babe, I wouldn’t fucking make you stay here if it wasn’t.”
The punch to the gut hits hard. He wouldn’t make me stay here if he didn’t have to. Shit, I need a reality check. Sex—great, fantastic sex—but just sex, nonetheless.
I can actually feel the small bits of my heart cracking and falling to the ground then shattering like glass. He wants me here to protect me, but that’s all this is, and I’m going to end up the one hurt.
“Okay,” I breathe out, and he kisses my lips quickly, rolls out of bed, and then heads into the bathroom.
I stare up at the ceiling, wondering what I’m going to do and trying to hold back the tears.
My pulse drums as hands touch me. The blood. The tears. Me being held down.
Pressure on my back won’t allow me to move an inch. Even when I kick my legs, they are halted immediately. I feel trapped. Caged.
I try to stay strong, but the pain is intense, and I’m unable to keep it at bay.
As I press my head into the pillow, a guttural noise comes from my throat.
I can do this. I’m doing this to protect him. I’ll always protect him, no matter the cost.
I pop up from bed, covered in sweat. The cool breeze from the fan gives me a slight chill. I look around the room, noting the dresser and chair in the corner. My room at the clubhouse.
Breathing out, I lie back down and stare up at the yellow discolored ceiling. After all these years, it still haunts me: the day when my life changed forever, the day when the bad destroyed me.
I’m not sure where all the food came from, but boy, did it come. I help Ma, Mearna, Angel, and Princess stack canned foods in the huge pantry off the kitchen, already having filled the freezer and refrigerator with Tanner and Blaze’s help. I don’t know if I should admire these women or be scared that they can do this so well. They need little time or effort to get everything in its place.
“How many people are coming?” I ask to no one in particular as I put an enormous can of green beans on a shelf. I swear the thing could feed a couple dozen.
“About a hundred, maybe more,” Princess answers, stacking two cans to my one. I really need to work out more.
I stop my movements and turn to them. “Really, that many?”
I’ve been alone for so long that even thinking of a hundred family members is beyond my realm of comprehension.
“Oh, yeah. It’ll be chaos
“Bella?” he asks into my hair.
“Yeah?” The word comes out so breathy it’s laughable, but he doesn’t laugh.
“There’s shit going down, and I need you here. Need you safe. You’ve gotta stay here until all of it gets handled.” Out of all the words that just came from his lips, the ones I focus on are the unspoken. After it’s handled, I want you out.
I push the thought away and try not to let the hurt penetrate.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?” I’ve never asked Buzz about club business, because it is none of mine. But since he did call me on a whim, having me haul my ass here, I figure this is my time to ask.
“Just know that it’s not safe for you outside these gates right now. We’re going to have a full load coming in. I’m going to need you to help Princess and the rest of the ol’ ladies get shit sorted. I’m gonna be busy trying to fix this.”
My stomach falls a bit at the thought of being here and not being with him.
“But I’ll make it a point to see you.”
That makes me feel a little bit better. At least he can carve something out for me, and it will be nice to catch up with Casey. When she became GT’s ol’ lady, she got the name Angel. Some sort of rite of passage or something like that. I still didn’t understand everything. Hell, I barely understand anything, but I roll with it.
“Alright, but I’m a little scared that I can’t leave here. Is whatever’s going on that bad?”
“Babe, I wouldn’t fucking make you stay here if it wasn’t.”
The punch to the gut hits hard. He wouldn’t make me stay here if he didn’t have to. Shit, I need a reality check. Sex—great, fantastic sex—but just sex, nonetheless.
I can actually feel the small bits of my heart cracking and falling to the ground then shattering like glass. He wants me here to protect me, but that’s all this is, and I’m going to end up the one hurt.
“Okay,” I breathe out, and he kisses my lips quickly, rolls out of bed, and then heads into the bathroom.
I stare up at the ceiling, wondering what I’m going to do and trying to hold back the tears.
My pulse drums as hands touch me. The blood. The tears. Me being held down.
Pressure on my back won’t allow me to move an inch. Even when I kick my legs, they are halted immediately. I feel trapped. Caged.
I try to stay strong, but the pain is intense, and I’m unable to keep it at bay.
As I press my head into the pillow, a guttural noise comes from my throat.
I can do this. I’m doing this to protect him. I’ll always protect him, no matter the cost.
I pop up from bed, covered in sweat. The cool breeze from the fan gives me a slight chill. I look around the room, noting the dresser and chair in the corner. My room at the clubhouse.
Breathing out, I lie back down and stare up at the yellow discolored ceiling. After all these years, it still haunts me: the day when my life changed forever, the day when the bad destroyed me.
I’m not sure where all the food came from, but boy, did it come. I help Ma, Mearna, Angel, and Princess stack canned foods in the huge pantry off the kitchen, already having filled the freezer and refrigerator with Tanner and Blaze’s help. I don’t know if I should admire these women or be scared that they can do this so well. They need little time or effort to get everything in its place.
“How many people are coming?” I ask to no one in particular as I put an enormous can of green beans on a shelf. I swear the thing could feed a couple dozen.
“About a hundred, maybe more,” Princess answers, stacking two cans to my one. I really need to work out more.
I stop my movements and turn to them. “Really, that many?”
I’ve been alone for so long that even thinking of a hundred family members is beyond my realm of comprehension.
“Oh, yeah. It’ll be chaos
Similar Books
