Camp Nowhere

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Authors: R. L. Stine
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“Is there pizza today? I heard there was pizza today,” a chubby, curly-haired boy said excitedly.
    Charlotte and Erin appeared. They told me they’d been playing softball.
    “Have you seen that boy Drew?” Charlotte asked. “I wanted to ask him about last night.”
    I shook my head. “I haven’t seen him all morning. I haven’t seen Uncle Brian, either.”
    I followed them in to lunch. The mess hall was serving pizza—little round English muffin pizzas.
    David, Marty, and I found a table near the wall. Mike and a guy named Peter were already sitting there. They each had taken five or six pizzas on their trays. Mike had a pizza in each hand.
    Before I sat down, I searched the room, checking out each table. “Have you seen that kid Drew?” I asked Mike.
    Mike grinned. “You mean Drew the Shmoo? What a weirdo.”
    “Have you seen him today?” I repeated, pulling open my can of soda.
    Mike frowned. “No. I haven’t run into him.”
    “He stopped us last night down by the lake,” Marty said. “He said he wanted to tell us the truth.”
    Mike and Peter exchanged glances.
    “What do you think he meant?” David asked. “Was it some kind of a joke?”
    “Probably,” Peter answered. “Drew the Shmoo is a real whack job. No one knows what he’s talking about.”
    Mike swallowed a chunk of pizza. “His head isn’t exactly screwed on tight,” he said. “You can’t believe a word he says.”
    “But everyone eats lunch at the same time—right?” I asked. “So why isn’t Drew here?”
    Mike and Peter both shrugged. “Beats me,” Mike said. “Maybe he went on a hike or something.”
    After lunch came more activities. Marty and I played two-on-two basketball with a couple of Camp Evergreen guys. We had another swim. I joined in a crazy “insect hunt” competition with a bunch of guys.
    I didn’t see Drew or Uncle Brian all afternoon. I didn’t see them at dinner, either.
    “How you guys doing?” Will came up to our table during dinner. “Everything okay?”
    “Great,” Marty replied. “This is a cool camp.”
    “Hey—we try!” Will replied.
    “Have you heard from our camp?” I asked. “Did Uncle Brian reach them?”
    There was a shout across the room. “Food fight! Food fight!” Cheers and laughter echoed off the low wooden rafters.
    Will spun away and hurried to break it up.
    I turned to my four friends. “Don’t you think it’s a little weird that we haven’t heard anything from our camp?”
    David shrugged. “Whatever. I think I like it better here.”
    “Yeah. The food is better,” Marty agreed. “And the guys are cooler.”
    “I hate these geeky shorts,” Erin complained. “I hate wearing a uniform. I’d like to get back to my real clothes. Besides, this is a boys’ camp!”
    Charlotte finished her Coke. “Russell is right,” she said. “Where is Uncle Brian today? Why haven’t we heard anything?”
    I shoved my tray away. “I think we should go see him,” I said. “His office is in the lodge behind the mess hall.”
    Marty jumped up. “Yeah. Let’s go right now. We can just ask him what’s up.”
    “Don’t you want to wait for dessert?” David asked. “I think it’s Rice Krispie treats and ice cream.”
    “We’ll come back for dessert,” Marty said. He dragged David up from his chair.
    The five of us made our way out of the mess hall.
    “Hey, Russell—where are you going?” Mike shouted from a table near the door.
    “Back in a minute!” I shouted back.
    The sun was nearly down. The sky was purple, streaked with red. A squirrel stood beside the path from the mess hall. It turned and scampered behindthe building when it saw us coming.
    “There’s no campfire tonight,” Marty said. “What are they doing instead?”
    “I think they’re showing a movie,” Charlotte replied.
    Walking quickly, we made our way around to the lodge. The mess hall and the lodge were the only large buildings in camp. They were both built to look like old-fashioned

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