Read Online Better Places to Go by David-Matthew Barnes - Free Book Online
Authors: David-Matthew Barnes
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never really been into me? Go on, Candace, say it.
CANDACE. Say what? Jesus, Maxine, I’m tired.
MAXINE. So am I. I’m tired of being your scapegoat.
CANDACE. Can we talk about this later? You need to find us a place to stay tonight.
MAXINE. Find your own place. I’m out of here.
CANDACE. Have you lost your mind?! You’re going to leave me here?
MAXINE. I don’t care if I have to hitchhike. I don’t care if I have to go down on the limo driver to bum a ride to a motel. As long as I can get away from you. Girls like me. You really are something, Candace. I bust my ass for you, day after day, year after year and you are so inconsiderate. You know something? The limo driver was right. You are a bitch. And for your information, I hate this dress.
CANDACE. I have no idea where all of this hostility is coming from, but I won’t stand for it. This is still my wedding night. You’re supposed to be my best friend and all I’m getting from you is a headache.
MAXINE. It’s always about you. Well, I’m sick of it. I’ve put up with this crap from you since I was six. I won’t take it anymore.
CANDACE. Then leave! If you can’t stand by me when I need you the most, then you aren’t the person I thought you were.
MAXINE. You don’t even love him.
CANDACE. Of course I do!
MAXINE. Well, he doesn’t love you.
CANDACE. (Beat.) No, probably not. But we’re both young and successful and we want the same thing out of life.
MAXINE. And what’s that, a marriage of convenience?
CANDACE. Like you even know anything about relationships. You haven’t had a decent boyfriend since high school and even then you managed to screw things up, Little Miss Virgin.
MAXINE. And you don’t have a bone of decency in your body. I used to think so. I used to convince myself that everything really was my fault. I was a bad friend. I was a big, fat disappointment and if I didn’t get my act together, you wouldn’t be my friend anymore. Like that was some great reward. Being your friend is like living in a cold, dark place and I hate it. I’ve lived in your shadow for as long as I can remember.
CANDACE. No one forced you to. If I make you so miserable, then why did you come? Why did you agree to be my Maid of Honor?
MAXINE. Because I wanted to stop you.
CANDACE. Stop me?
MAXINE. I made sure we missed that plane, Candace. I gave the limo driver a hundred bucks to take a wrong turn. I did it on purpose.
CANDACE. Why would you do something like that? Are you jealous, is that it?
MAXINE. You’d like to think so.
CANDACE. (A realization:) You don’t want me to get married. You’re scared that if I do, I’ll forget all about you.
MAXINE. Hardly. You couldn’t forget about me, even if you tried. Every time the smallest thing goes wrong in your life, you’re on my doorstep expecting compliments and concern. I’m all out of both. I’ve got nothing left to give to you. Except the truth.
CANDACE. Why are you doing this to me? Tonight of all nights. I’m stuck in the middle of Little House on the Scary Prairie.
MAXINE. Because girls like me can only take so much.
CANDACE. Just say what you have to say. I’d like to bring this night to an end. I’d like to figure out where I’m sleeping tonight.
MAXINE. (Beat.) I slept with him.
CANDACE. Who, the limo driver?
MAXINE. No. With Peter. Your fiancé. The groom.
CANDACE. (A nervous laugh, followed by a painful moment of truth:) You did what?
MAXINE. More than once. We’ve been having sex for two months. On his lunch breaks. In his office. At my apartment. Even in your apartment when you went on that business trip to Boston and I fed your cat for you.
CANDACE. Let me guess, the two of you are madly in love.
MAXINE. Hardly. I hate the guy. He makes me sick.
CANDACE. Then why did you do it?
MAXINE. Because I could. I finally beat you at your own game. I finally won.
CANDACE. It was never a competition, Maxine.
MAXINE. Wasn’t it?
CANDACE. It doesn’t matter,
CANDACE. Say what? Jesus, Maxine, I’m tired.
MAXINE. So am I. I’m tired of being your scapegoat.
CANDACE. Can we talk about this later? You need to find us a place to stay tonight.
MAXINE. Find your own place. I’m out of here.
CANDACE. Have you lost your mind?! You’re going to leave me here?
MAXINE. I don’t care if I have to hitchhike. I don’t care if I have to go down on the limo driver to bum a ride to a motel. As long as I can get away from you. Girls like me. You really are something, Candace. I bust my ass for you, day after day, year after year and you are so inconsiderate. You know something? The limo driver was right. You are a bitch. And for your information, I hate this dress.
CANDACE. I have no idea where all of this hostility is coming from, but I won’t stand for it. This is still my wedding night. You’re supposed to be my best friend and all I’m getting from you is a headache.
MAXINE. It’s always about you. Well, I’m sick of it. I’ve put up with this crap from you since I was six. I won’t take it anymore.
CANDACE. Then leave! If you can’t stand by me when I need you the most, then you aren’t the person I thought you were.
MAXINE. You don’t even love him.
CANDACE. Of course I do!
MAXINE. Well, he doesn’t love you.
CANDACE. (Beat.) No, probably not. But we’re both young and successful and we want the same thing out of life.
MAXINE. And what’s that, a marriage of convenience?
CANDACE. Like you even know anything about relationships. You haven’t had a decent boyfriend since high school and even then you managed to screw things up, Little Miss Virgin.
MAXINE. And you don’t have a bone of decency in your body. I used to think so. I used to convince myself that everything really was my fault. I was a bad friend. I was a big, fat disappointment and if I didn’t get my act together, you wouldn’t be my friend anymore. Like that was some great reward. Being your friend is like living in a cold, dark place and I hate it. I’ve lived in your shadow for as long as I can remember.
CANDACE. No one forced you to. If I make you so miserable, then why did you come? Why did you agree to be my Maid of Honor?
MAXINE. Because I wanted to stop you.
CANDACE. Stop me?
MAXINE. I made sure we missed that plane, Candace. I gave the limo driver a hundred bucks to take a wrong turn. I did it on purpose.
CANDACE. Why would you do something like that? Are you jealous, is that it?
MAXINE. You’d like to think so.
CANDACE. (A realization:) You don’t want me to get married. You’re scared that if I do, I’ll forget all about you.
MAXINE. Hardly. You couldn’t forget about me, even if you tried. Every time the smallest thing goes wrong in your life, you’re on my doorstep expecting compliments and concern. I’m all out of both. I’ve got nothing left to give to you. Except the truth.
CANDACE. Why are you doing this to me? Tonight of all nights. I’m stuck in the middle of Little House on the Scary Prairie.
MAXINE. Because girls like me can only take so much.
CANDACE. Just say what you have to say. I’d like to bring this night to an end. I’d like to figure out where I’m sleeping tonight.
MAXINE. (Beat.) I slept with him.
CANDACE. Who, the limo driver?
MAXINE. No. With Peter. Your fiancé. The groom.
CANDACE. (A nervous laugh, followed by a painful moment of truth:) You did what?
MAXINE. More than once. We’ve been having sex for two months. On his lunch breaks. In his office. At my apartment. Even in your apartment when you went on that business trip to Boston and I fed your cat for you.
CANDACE. Let me guess, the two of you are madly in love.
MAXINE. Hardly. I hate the guy. He makes me sick.
CANDACE. Then why did you do it?
MAXINE. Because I could. I finally beat you at your own game. I finally won.
CANDACE. It was never a competition, Maxine.
MAXINE. Wasn’t it?
CANDACE. It doesn’t matter,
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