together like we always do, and hug each other goodnight. Over the months we’ve been together the hugs have gotten longer and more intimate, though nothing sexual has taken place.
Yet.
But during these moments when we’re in each other’s arms, and our bodies are touching, and I close my eyes and feel her heartbeat, I get flushed, off-balance, and almost completely out of control.
Almost.
Could I ever be truly satisfied and fulfilled being in a long-term relationship with a woman?
I honestly don’t know.
Could Sophie?
She doesn’t know either, but she thinks so.
“You’re too pretty to be with a man,” she once said. “We need you on our team.”
“ Your team?” I laughed. “You’re barely on the team yourself!”
So yes, we’ve talked about it, but the bottom line is we’re both newbies. Sophie’s had seven sexual experiences in her life and only two of them were women.
“Every night we hug vertically,” she says. “Just once I’d like us to hug horizontally.”
I laugh. “You always say that.”
“And yet you never take me up on it.”
“I don’t trust myself.”
She pulls back and grins. “You’ve never said that before!”
“Guess you’re wearing me down.”
“My evil plan is working?”
“Seems to be.”
She pretends to do a little cheer. Then says, “Yay!”
She kisses my cheek.
I kiss hers and say, “Happy birthday, Sofe.”
“At the risk of sounding like Joe Fagin,” she says, “This is the best birthday ever!”
We laugh.
“I’ll leave my door open tonight,” she says. “In case you change your mind.”
I laugh. “You always say that, too.”
TUESDAY EVENING
BEN AND I are standing in the bar at Johnny Prime,Cincinnati’s legendarysteakhouse, awaiting the entrance of his overachieving college roommate, Roy Burroughs. Ben has warned me Roy is not only charming, but a force of nature, and I need to realize he’s a complete and total player.
“He’s going to be all over you,” he warns.
“I’d find that terribly rude.”
“Doesn’t matter. He thinks he’s God’s gift to women. Thinks he can get anyone he wants.”
“What are you saying?”
Ben laughs. “He’s brutally handsome. Or was, at least. In any case, I’m counting on you not to fall in love with him.”
“Fat chance.”
“Good. Because that would sort of destroy the whole concept of me having something the great Roy Burroughs could never get.”
“Tell me again about that.”
“When Roy sees us together his face is going to drop! The last thought in his head when he leaves tonight will be me holding you. It’ll be like I’m the one standing in the end zone instead of him, spiking the ball after scoring the winning touchdown. He’ll see you, and I won’t have to say a word. He’ll know I finally beat him at something. Seriously, Dani, I can’t thank you enough.”
I give him a look.
“What?” he says.
“I hope you can come up with a better way to express the sentiment. Because right now you’re making me feel like a dirty old football.”
Ben winks. “Coming from a guy, that’s a hell of a compliment. Except for the old part.”
“And the dirty part.”
He winks again. “That’s up for debate.”
Ben’s in the best mood tonight! I hope it goes the way he wants, but honestly, how could it? I mean, he’s got such high expectations. Do things ever turn out great when you’re trying to show someone else up?
“Ben?”
“Yes?”
“I know you think I’m beautiful,” I say, “But what if Roy shows up with someone who’s truly gorgeous? Someone who makes me look like dog meat?”
“First of all, there’s no such woman, because you’re spectacular. Second, it’s not just your looks, it’s the whole package. Your personality, your charm, your intelligence. You’re
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