me tonight. Please, John?”
His hand shook as he touched her face. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I love you, and I want…I want you to stay here tonight.”
All the blood had drained out of his head and pooled between his thighs, making thinking clearly difficult, but John had to try. Things had gotten very heated, very passionate between them during the previous couple of weeks, but even though they’d spent the night together in a motel room in Richmond, they hadn’t yet consummated their relationship. John had fought desperately to keep things on a level where Zanny knew he wasn’t just after sex. But he didn’t think he could bring himself to say no. He wanted her too much.
He didn’t have to worry about hurrying home because his parents had been delayed in Georgia over a glitch with Emma’s enrollment at school. Zanny’s father was in Utah on a trucking run. Even Jack and Gilly’s brood was out of town, getting Michelle settled at school. The trailer’s position on the curve of the mountain gave them nearly complete privacy from all the neighbors. No one would know, and Zanny’s reputation wouldn’t be hurt if he did stay.
“You aren’t on anything.”
“I bought condoms.” She bit her lip and ducked her face. “When we were in Richmond, while you were busy registering. I went to the store across the street.” She worked her hands under his shirt and scraped her nails across his abdomen.
John laughed, though the sound was ragged. “I picked some up in Hazard a couple of weeks ago.” He didn’t trust the old ones he’d already had, but he wasn’t about to admit that to her and open the door on the discussion of his previous encounters. As far as he was concerned, that was in the past, and now there was only Zanny.
“I’m ready for this. And I want this with you. But I won’t pressure you,” she told him softly. “That works both ways, you know.”
“Are you sure?”
Her smile was serene. “I am. I really am.”
“Then I’ll come in.”
Much like the experience in the barn loft, none of John’s previous encounters had prepared him for the night with Zanny. The haze of lust was tempered by love and a deep, heart-felt affection. What followed wasn’t a desperate race for completion, but an all-encompassing need that by far surpassed the sheer physical.
The night wasn’t without complications. They’d gotten careless the second time around, and John had gotten too hot, too fast. They’d taken a shower together—his first with a woman—and donning a condom had been the last thing on his mind. He’d slid into Zanny without thinking. It was also the first time he’d ever had sex without a condom, and the sensations heightened his arousal to the breaking point almost instantly.
He apologized profusely as they got out of the shower and dried off. He was afraid like he’d never been before. “That’s a problem. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m sorry.”
She bit her thumb, a tiny line appearing between her brows, as she stammered, “I don’t think so. My p-period is a few days away. I don’t think I’m fertile right now.”
“But you could be?”
“I shouldn’t be. Today’s Saturday, and I should start by Tuesday.” She covered her face. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”
John tugged her hands down. “No matter what happens, I love you. Okay? And if you’re that close, I think we’re okay. I think it’s only the middle of the month when you have to worry about…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word. The feeling that they’d just screwed up badly made him shake inside.
“I think so, too.” She relaxed visibly relaxed, and John felt some of his own tension ease.
They spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms, squeezed onto Zanny’s tiny twin-size bed. They dozed off a bit, but mostly, they just talked. His time with her was precious, and he would hold it close to his heart while he was
His hand shook as he touched her face. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I love you, and I want…I want you to stay here tonight.”
All the blood had drained out of his head and pooled between his thighs, making thinking clearly difficult, but John had to try. Things had gotten very heated, very passionate between them during the previous couple of weeks, but even though they’d spent the night together in a motel room in Richmond, they hadn’t yet consummated their relationship. John had fought desperately to keep things on a level where Zanny knew he wasn’t just after sex. But he didn’t think he could bring himself to say no. He wanted her too much.
He didn’t have to worry about hurrying home because his parents had been delayed in Georgia over a glitch with Emma’s enrollment at school. Zanny’s father was in Utah on a trucking run. Even Jack and Gilly’s brood was out of town, getting Michelle settled at school. The trailer’s position on the curve of the mountain gave them nearly complete privacy from all the neighbors. No one would know, and Zanny’s reputation wouldn’t be hurt if he did stay.
“You aren’t on anything.”
“I bought condoms.” She bit her lip and ducked her face. “When we were in Richmond, while you were busy registering. I went to the store across the street.” She worked her hands under his shirt and scraped her nails across his abdomen.
John laughed, though the sound was ragged. “I picked some up in Hazard a couple of weeks ago.” He didn’t trust the old ones he’d already had, but he wasn’t about to admit that to her and open the door on the discussion of his previous encounters. As far as he was concerned, that was in the past, and now there was only Zanny.
“I’m ready for this. And I want this with you. But I won’t pressure you,” she told him softly. “That works both ways, you know.”
“Are you sure?”
Her smile was serene. “I am. I really am.”
“Then I’ll come in.”
Much like the experience in the barn loft, none of John’s previous encounters had prepared him for the night with Zanny. The haze of lust was tempered by love and a deep, heart-felt affection. What followed wasn’t a desperate race for completion, but an all-encompassing need that by far surpassed the sheer physical.
The night wasn’t without complications. They’d gotten careless the second time around, and John had gotten too hot, too fast. They’d taken a shower together—his first with a woman—and donning a condom had been the last thing on his mind. He’d slid into Zanny without thinking. It was also the first time he’d ever had sex without a condom, and the sensations heightened his arousal to the breaking point almost instantly.
He apologized profusely as they got out of the shower and dried off. He was afraid like he’d never been before. “That’s a problem. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m sorry.”
She bit her thumb, a tiny line appearing between her brows, as she stammered, “I don’t think so. My p-period is a few days away. I don’t think I’m fertile right now.”
“But you could be?”
“I shouldn’t be. Today’s Saturday, and I should start by Tuesday.” She covered her face. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”
John tugged her hands down. “No matter what happens, I love you. Okay? And if you’re that close, I think we’re okay. I think it’s only the middle of the month when you have to worry about…” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word. The feeling that they’d just screwed up badly made him shake inside.
“I think so, too.” She relaxed visibly relaxed, and John felt some of his own tension ease.
They spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms, squeezed onto Zanny’s tiny twin-size bed. They dozed off a bit, but mostly, they just talked. His time with her was precious, and he would hold it close to his heart while he was
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