Read Online Burning Secret by Stefan Zweig - Free Book Online

it’s been so close to me for days now, right in front of me, and I still can’t lay hands on it! I’ve done all I can to find out about it! I’ve stolen books out of Papa’s desk drawer in the past and read them, and there were all those strange things in them, except that I didn’t understand them. There must be a seal somewhere, and you just have to break the seal to find out what the secret is, perhaps it’s in me or perhaps it’s in otherpeople. I asked the maid, I wanted her to explain those bits in the books, but she only laughed at me. It’s horrible being a child, there’s so much you want to know but you’re not allowed to ask anyone, you always look so silly in front of grown-ups, as if you were stupid or useless. But I will find out the secret, I will, I feel I’ll soon know it. There’s part of it in my hands already, and I won’t give up until I have it all!
    He strained his ears to listen for anyone coming. A slight breeze was blowing through the trees outside, breaking the still reflection of moonlight among the branches into hundreds of swaying splinters.
    They can’t be planning anything good, or they wouldn’t have thought up such miserable lies to keep me away. I’m sure they’re laughing at me now, oh, I hate them, they’re glad to be rid of me, but I’ll have the last laugh. How stupid of me to let myself be shut up here and give them a moment’s freedom, instead of sticking close and following all their movements. I know grownups are always careless, and they’ll give themselves away. They always think we children are still little and we just go straight to sleep in the evenings, they forget that you can always pretend to be asleep and keep your ears open, you can make out you’re stupid and be very clever all the same. When my aunt had that baby not so long ago they knew about it long before it came, it was only in front of me they acted all surprised, as if they hadn’t guessed it was coming. But I knew about it too, because I’d heard them talking weeks before, inthe evening when they thought I was asleep. And I’ll surprise that horrible pair this time. Oh, if only I could see through doors and watch them while they think they’re safe. Suppose I rang the bell now, would that be a good idea? Then the chambermaid would come and ask what I wanted. Or I could make a lot of noise, I could break some china, and then they’d open the door too. And I could slip out at that moment and go and eavesdrop. Or no—no, I don’t want that. I don’t want anyone to know how badly they treat me. I’m too proud for that. I’ll pay them back tomorrow.
    Downstairs a woman laughed. Edgar jumped; that could be his mother. It was all very well for her to laugh and make fun of him, he was just a helpless little boy to be locked in if he was in the way, thrown into a corner like a bundle of wet clothes. Cautiously, he leaned out of the window. No, it wasn’t her, it was some high-spirited girls teasing a young man.
    Then, at that moment, he saw how close his window really was to the ground below. And almost before he knew it he was thinking of jumping out, now, when they thought they were secure, and going to eavesdrop on them. He felt quite feverish with delight at this decision. It was as if he held the great, the sparkling secret that was kept from children in his hands. Go on, out, out, said an urgent voice in him. It wasn’t dangerous. There were no passers by below him, and he jumped. The gravel crunched slightly, but no one heard the faint sound.
    During these last two days, stealing about and lying in wait had become his great pleasure in life. And he felt pleasure now, mingled with a slight frisson of alarm, as he tiptoed around the hotel, carefully avoiding the strong illumination of the lights. First, pressing his cheek cautiously to the pane, he looked through the dining-room window. Their usual table was empty. He went on spying in, moving from window to window. He dared not go