Read Online Bug Eyed Monsters by Jean Ure - Free Book Online

this thing about chips!’
    There was a pause.
    â€˜Who did?’ said Ryan.
    â€˜Mr Hodge? Remember? Used to bring bags of them into class? Mr Potts? Complained he was eating too many? Said they made him fat? Miss Beam – ’
    â€˜Miss Beam didn’t get fat,’ said Bal. They all sighed.
    â€˜No, but Harry’s right. She did like her chips.’ Joe said it regretfully. ‘Remember that time with your gran and granddad?’
    â€˜Gorging herself on chips.’
    Bal had turned very red. ‘Miss Beam didn’t
gorge.’
    â€˜She was tucking into them, though. A huge great plateful.’
    â€˜Yeah, and remember when we did those essays and she said there were some aliens might consider chips a delicacy?’
    â€˜Doesn’t prove anything!’ said Bal.
    Except that Miss Beam had disappeared, just like the others. Mr Potts had had a nervous breakdown. Mr Hodge… what had happened to Mr Hodge?
    â€˜Got took ill,’ said Joe. ‘Just suddenly. Least,’ he added, ‘that’s what we was told.’
    Bal scowled. He muttered again about it not proving anything, but the undeniable fact was that Miss Beam had gone. Back to her home planet, wherever that might be.
    The next lesson was English. Year 6 waited, glumly, to see who would be taking it.
    Probably the Head Master, thought Harry. He pulled a face. Dr Dredge was strict and stern with absolutely no sense ofhumour whatsoever. As different as could be from beautiful Miss Beam.
    Year 6 braced themselves for the worst. Great was their surprise when the door opened and a totally new teacher walked in. He was young, with ginger hair and a long, forbidding beak of a nose. But he seemed friendly enough.

    â€˜Good morning, Year 6! My name is Mr Smith and I’m your new English teacher. I’m sure you must all be missing Miss Beam, I’m aware that she was very popular, but I’m here, now, and you must make the best of me. Just as I must make the best of you! I give you my word, I will try not to disappoint. Righty-ho!’
    He rubbed his hands together. ‘Let’s get cracking! I’ve been reading some of the essays you did for Miss Beam on the subject of Unidentified Flying Objects. Most interesting! I think over the coming weeks we might explore the subject a bit further, if that’s agreeable to you?’
    Year 6 blinked. A teacher who actually asked if something was agreeable to them?
    â€˜What do you think?’ said Mr Smith. ‘A good idea, or not?’
    â€˜Good!’ shouted Year 6.
    â€˜Of course, we’ll have to do some curriculum work, as well. Set books, and all that. Literacy, and so forth. But that’s all right! We’ll fit it in. Just not too much ofit. All work and no play makes Fred a very dull boy!’
    Greatly daring, Bal said, ‘Isn’t it Jack, sir?’
    â€˜Jack?’ Mr Smith seemed puzzled.
    â€˜Dull boy, sir.’
    â€˜Oh! Yes. How silly of me! Makes
Jack
a dull boy. We wouldn’t want that, would we? Never be bored, is my motto! I think we’re all going to get on just fine.’
    Year 6 thought so, too. With his tufty ginger hair and his big beaky nose, the new teacher might not be much to look at – unlike Miss Beam. Beautiful Miss Beam! – but he seemed pretty cool, for all that.
    â€˜Literacy today, UFOs tomorrow. How about it?’
    Year 6 took out their literacy papers without a murmur. They could live with that!
    When the bell rang for the end of class, Mr Smith was the first to pack up his books.
    â€˜Ah!’ he said. ‘Lunch! I’ve been looking forward to this all morning. What do yousuppose will be on the menu? Any chance of chips?’ He licked his lips. ‘I’ve been told they’re really good!’
    Innocently, Joe said, ‘Do you like chips, sir?’
    â€˜Oh, I think so,’ said Mr Smith. ‘From what I’ve heard… yes! I’m sure I