Read Online Broken (Broken #1) by A. E. Murphy - Free Book Online

tingles and my stomach heaves.
    “ Is this an
ultimatum?” I breathe, not believing my ears or eyes. My tears
spill over, I can’t control them. He doesn’t respond. “Caleb,
please don’t do this.”
    He freezes, his hands gripping
the open case that lays on the bed.
    “ Please,” I
sob and grab his arm. “Please Caleb. Don’t make me go through this
alone.”
    “ Keep it.” He
demands, his body still tense.
    “ Why can’t
you just wait?” I half shout half sob. “Why can’t you just fucking
wait?”
    “ You’re
murdering my child.”
    I jerk away from him, his words
burned on my brain. “Don’t see it that way. Please.”
    “ How can I
see it any other way?”
    No. He can’t do this. He
can’t.
    But he is.
    I watch him pack up his bags,
his face set and his steps sure. He leaves, taking the car and all
night he doesn’t come back.

    ******

    I sit in the doctor’s office
and explain my situation, relieved when she understands. She gives
me a test just to be sure, when it comes out positive she books me
an appointment at the clinic. I have two choices of termination,
one where they put me to sleep and get it all out, or one where
they give me a tablet and I sit for six hours waiting for it to
leave my body.
    I opt for option one.

    My appointment is in four
weeks. They give you a gap to change your mind. The gap is too
long, I want it done now.
    In class Sasha notices that
something is wrong but I don’t tell her. I don’t tell anyone. Right
now I can’t. Nobody needs to know about this. Nobody.
    Even I don’t want to know about
it.

    When I make it home I curl up
in bed and cry. He’s not home. Why isn’t he home?
    Can I honestly do this to him?
Can I honestly look him in the eye and tell him I’m going to murder
his child? Because that’s what it is. I’m giving him no choice and
it’s half of him.
    I roll onto my back and close
my eyes, letting my woes sink into me like an anchor into the sea.
My hand rests on my flat belly, I try to imagine what it would be
like, what life would be like to be pregnant. To carry Caleb’s baby
in my stomach for nine months, to bring him or her into the
world.
    What would he or she look
like?
    Would they have his hair? His
eyes?
    I let out a long breath coupled
with a sob and turn back on my side. Curling into the foetal
position I weep. My sorrows and sadness too heavy. My conscience
too plagued with indecision.
    “ I can’t do
it,” I say out loud to nobody. I can’t do it.
    Who am I kidding? There’s no
way I can kill it. No way.
    But if I don’t my university
experience will be ruined. No more drinking, not that I drink much
anyway, no more just going out to the cinema or to a club. I’ll be
studying my arse off and then coming home to diapers poop and
vomit.
    One of us will have to quit
school because there’s no way we’ll be able to afford childcare.
Maybe there’s something to help students in this situation.

    I’m lost so deeply in my
thoughts I don’t hear the door open, so when someone touches my
shoulder and the bed dips, I scream bloody murder and fall from the
bed.
    “ Christ,”
he’s laughing. Laughing? How can he laugh right now? What an
arsehole. “Are you okay?
    Oh my god. Caleb’s here, “I’m
fine.” I climb back onto the bed, nursing my wounded pride. “You’re
here.”
    His laughter stops and his
smile vanishes, “Yeah. I should never have left, I hate it when you
cry. It breaks my heart. I’m so sorry.” His arms close around me
and soon I’m on his lap. His heat sinking into me through his warm
embrace.
    I welcome it.
    “ Forgive me?”
he whispers and kisses my neck. I bury my face in his chest,
relieved that he’s here. “I should have handled that better. It’s
just…” He sighs long and heavy.
    “ What?”
    “ Do you ever
feel like it doesn’t matter what we do or who we are, we never
really leave anything behind?”
    And again, “What?”
    He pulls back and rests against
the headboard after