walking away from me? “Ian?” My eyes flutter open, and instead of seeing Laney, I see a very concerned Ally. Before I can stop it, the tears consume me again and I feel like my heart is breaking all over.
I feel Ally shifting next to me, and then her hand gently covers mine. She doesn’t talk or ask questions, she just waits.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper as I sneak a look at Ally. She is looking back at me with compassion and understanding, not the pity that I am so used to in situations like this. “Don’t be Ian. Never be sorry for feeling, its how we know we are still alive.” She is so right. “I’m a mess Ally. I lost someone, and my world came to a stop. I cry more now than I ever did as a child, it’s pathetic.” Shaking my head, I turn and look at the wall, trying to get myself together.
“I would give anything to be able to cry. I want to cry so badly, but I can't get that first tear to fall. I think I’ve been holding it in for too long.” I turn to Ally and see that she is looking at the ceiling, deep in thought. I turn my hand over, still underneath hers, so I can hold it for a moment. “Ally, it hurts more to cry on the inside, than it does to cry on the outside.” She nods and looks over at me, and for reasons I can’t possibly explain, I laugh. I see her mouth turn up and she begins to laugh too. “We are a sad sight, aren’t we?” I ask Ally, trying to compose myself. This is the first time I think I have seen Ally smile, much less laugh. It is a beautiful sound.
“Ian?” she becomes serious for a moment. “Yes?” “Umm, I need the bathroom again.”
Chapter 23
~Ally
“I’d like to try to walk this time.” I say as Ian helps me stand. The pain is still quite bad, but I know that I need to keep moving if I am going to get better. “Okay, put your arm around my waist, and we’ll give it a try.” He says. I am able to make it slowly to the bathroom door, and when I look up at Ian, he is watching me closely. He raises his right eyebrow and I nod. He nods back and allows me to grab the counter top and maneuver myself toward the toilet. “Call if you need me Ally, I’m going to go put some coffee on, okay?” “Thanks Ian,” I say as I close the door.
I’ve never met anyone like Ian. The man is obviously hurting, yet he still has enough to give—to be there for someone else. It amazes me that someone I hardly know can do this when my own friends and family didn’t know how.
When I open the door, Ian is standing there waiting. “Ready?” He asks, walking toward me. I put my arm around his waist and we slowly walk out to the living room. I sit on the couch and Ian hands me my pills to take. “Hungry?” He asks. “What time is it?” I ask, looking out the window. “Almost 3:00 p.m.” He says as he brings me a cup of coffee. “Wow, we slept for quite awhile.” I say more to myself than him. “Mmm hmm.” He says as he rummages through the refrigerator.
***
“So, I brought a couple movies from my house that I thought we could watch tonight.” I look at Ian as he takes another bite of his grilled cheese sandwich. “We?” I ask curiously. “Yes, we .” He says with a nod. I set my plate down on the coffee table and look at him. “Ian, you don’t need to do this.” I run my fingers through my hair, making a mental note to somehow get it washed today. “This is not new, Ian—I’ve been doing this by myself for over two years.” The look on his face is almost comical. “Two years, huh?” He says, taking another bite. I nod. “Well, now we try it together.” He nods back.
v
We settle into a routine of being together. We eat together, watch TV together, and sleep together. With Ian’s help, the next two weeks fly by free of nightmares. He hasn’t had them either, and day by day, we form a friendship that
I feel Ally shifting next to me, and then her hand gently covers mine. She doesn’t talk or ask questions, she just waits.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper as I sneak a look at Ally. She is looking back at me with compassion and understanding, not the pity that I am so used to in situations like this. “Don’t be Ian. Never be sorry for feeling, its how we know we are still alive.” She is so right. “I’m a mess Ally. I lost someone, and my world came to a stop. I cry more now than I ever did as a child, it’s pathetic.” Shaking my head, I turn and look at the wall, trying to get myself together.
“I would give anything to be able to cry. I want to cry so badly, but I can't get that first tear to fall. I think I’ve been holding it in for too long.” I turn to Ally and see that she is looking at the ceiling, deep in thought. I turn my hand over, still underneath hers, so I can hold it for a moment. “Ally, it hurts more to cry on the inside, than it does to cry on the outside.” She nods and looks over at me, and for reasons I can’t possibly explain, I laugh. I see her mouth turn up and she begins to laugh too. “We are a sad sight, aren’t we?” I ask Ally, trying to compose myself. This is the first time I think I have seen Ally smile, much less laugh. It is a beautiful sound.
“Ian?” she becomes serious for a moment. “Yes?” “Umm, I need the bathroom again.”
Chapter 23
~Ally
“I’d like to try to walk this time.” I say as Ian helps me stand. The pain is still quite bad, but I know that I need to keep moving if I am going to get better. “Okay, put your arm around my waist, and we’ll give it a try.” He says. I am able to make it slowly to the bathroom door, and when I look up at Ian, he is watching me closely. He raises his right eyebrow and I nod. He nods back and allows me to grab the counter top and maneuver myself toward the toilet. “Call if you need me Ally, I’m going to go put some coffee on, okay?” “Thanks Ian,” I say as I close the door.
I’ve never met anyone like Ian. The man is obviously hurting, yet he still has enough to give—to be there for someone else. It amazes me that someone I hardly know can do this when my own friends and family didn’t know how.
When I open the door, Ian is standing there waiting. “Ready?” He asks, walking toward me. I put my arm around his waist and we slowly walk out to the living room. I sit on the couch and Ian hands me my pills to take. “Hungry?” He asks. “What time is it?” I ask, looking out the window. “Almost 3:00 p.m.” He says as he brings me a cup of coffee. “Wow, we slept for quite awhile.” I say more to myself than him. “Mmm hmm.” He says as he rummages through the refrigerator.
***
“So, I brought a couple movies from my house that I thought we could watch tonight.” I look at Ian as he takes another bite of his grilled cheese sandwich. “We?” I ask curiously. “Yes, we .” He says with a nod. I set my plate down on the coffee table and look at him. “Ian, you don’t need to do this.” I run my fingers through my hair, making a mental note to somehow get it washed today. “This is not new, Ian—I’ve been doing this by myself for over two years.” The look on his face is almost comical. “Two years, huh?” He says, taking another bite. I nod. “Well, now we try it together.” He nods back.
v
We settle into a routine of being together. We eat together, watch TV together, and sleep together. With Ian’s help, the next two weeks fly by free of nightmares. He hasn’t had them either, and day by day, we form a friendship that
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