Read Online Bright Young Things by Scarlett Thomas - Free Book Online
Authors: Scarlett Thomas
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‘It’s still fucked up. Hot Christ.’
‘Can you stop saying that?’ asks Thea.
‘Saying what?’ asks Paul.
Each of the rooms also contains a blank, white notebook, and some white clothes.
Anne’s stomach does a kind of flip, but she doesn’t say anything.
‘What is going on here?’ asks Thea quietly.
A small staircase leads to an attic room, but the door is locked.
‘Kitchen?’ suggests Pop Girl. ‘I’m really thirsty.’
‘We need to work out what’s going on here,’ says Duke.
As they walk down to the kitchen, it strikes Anne that this place was probably used as some sort of hotel or guest house once. Otherwise why would all the bedrooms have bathrooms?
‘Does anyone else feel sick?’ asks Pop Girl. She’s made it to the kitchen table and is sitting slumped over it, heaving about, being dramatic. Everyone else is sitting at the table as well, except for Paul, who is trying to put the kettle on, but has found that the electric stove doesn’t work. He finds a small camping stove in the end, with a full gas cylinder, and uses that. He doesn’t seem to have any trouble filling it, and water comes straight out of the tap. There’s running water here, at least, then, although Anne’s not sure where it comes from.
‘Yeah,’ says U-rated Duke Nukem. ‘I feel queasy.’
‘I’ve got bad gut rot,’ says Dreadlocks.
‘I’m OK,’ says Anne quietly.
‘You look pale,’ says Duke.
‘You do actually,’ says Paul.
‘Everyone says that,’ she replies. ‘It’s normal. Don’t worry.’
‘You should get a sun bed or something,’ says Pop Girl.
Anne doesn’t say anything. She likes being pale. It suits her.
‘I feel better now I’ve puked,’ says Thea. ‘What are your names, by the way?’
‘Emily,’ says Pop Girl.
‘Anne,’ says Anne.
‘Er, what, me?’ asks Dreadlocks. ‘Er, Bryn.’
‘Jamie,’ says Duke.
‘Paul,’ says Paul again. He’s going through the cupboards.
‘What are you doing?’ asks Thea.
‘Trying to find some cups.’
‘Do you think we’re supposed to . . .’ begins Bryn.
‘What?’ says Emily sarcastically. ‘“Make ourselves at home”? Of course we’re supposed to. Or – I know – maybe we could just not drink anything until we all collapse and die. Then I guess we won’t get into any trouble.’
Bryn seems offended. ‘Sorry,’ he says huffily.
‘I think we’re already in trouble,’ says Thea.
Paul looks over at Bryn. ‘I think we should go ahead and do what we want, just like the note said. For Christ’s sake, we didn’t exactly ask to come here.’
Bryn looks pissed off. He lights one of Emily’s cigarettes. Thea lights one too.
Anne’s thinking about those TV programmes where members of the public get duped by some trick or other, sometimes involving throwing puppies off a bridge (not
really
!) or giving someone something to hold and then running away. The joke is always that trusting passers-by will be happy to stop and help without realising that they are being set up for a joke, or will try to stop the ‘comedian’ from throwing the puppies over the bridge, without realising that there are no puppies, without realising that the
joke
is that there are no puppies. By trying to stop the comedian from throwing them over the bridge, the passers-by seem stupid, because the comedian and the audience know that there are no puppies.
‘So who wants coffee?’ asks Paul, having found some cups.
Everyone says
me
or grunts, except Anne, who doesn’t like tea or coffee.
‘What do you think they gave us?’ asks Jamie.
‘Downers?’ suggests Bryn. ‘They sometimes make me feel sick,’ he adds.
‘I don’t feel right at all,’ says Jamie, shaking his head. ‘I’m still all woozy.’
‘The coffee might make you feel better,’ says Thea. She looks like shit.
Paul opens the fridge to get some milk. Anne’s wondering what the chances are of there actually being any in there. After all, this is an island in
‘Can you stop saying that?’ asks Thea.
‘Saying what?’ asks Paul.
Each of the rooms also contains a blank, white notebook, and some white clothes.
Anne’s stomach does a kind of flip, but she doesn’t say anything.
‘What is going on here?’ asks Thea quietly.
A small staircase leads to an attic room, but the door is locked.
‘Kitchen?’ suggests Pop Girl. ‘I’m really thirsty.’
‘We need to work out what’s going on here,’ says Duke.
As they walk down to the kitchen, it strikes Anne that this place was probably used as some sort of hotel or guest house once. Otherwise why would all the bedrooms have bathrooms?
‘Does anyone else feel sick?’ asks Pop Girl. She’s made it to the kitchen table and is sitting slumped over it, heaving about, being dramatic. Everyone else is sitting at the table as well, except for Paul, who is trying to put the kettle on, but has found that the electric stove doesn’t work. He finds a small camping stove in the end, with a full gas cylinder, and uses that. He doesn’t seem to have any trouble filling it, and water comes straight out of the tap. There’s running water here, at least, then, although Anne’s not sure where it comes from.
‘Yeah,’ says U-rated Duke Nukem. ‘I feel queasy.’
‘I’ve got bad gut rot,’ says Dreadlocks.
‘I’m OK,’ says Anne quietly.
‘You look pale,’ says Duke.
‘You do actually,’ says Paul.
‘Everyone says that,’ she replies. ‘It’s normal. Don’t worry.’
‘You should get a sun bed or something,’ says Pop Girl.
Anne doesn’t say anything. She likes being pale. It suits her.
‘I feel better now I’ve puked,’ says Thea. ‘What are your names, by the way?’
‘Emily,’ says Pop Girl.
‘Anne,’ says Anne.
‘Er, what, me?’ asks Dreadlocks. ‘Er, Bryn.’
‘Jamie,’ says Duke.
‘Paul,’ says Paul again. He’s going through the cupboards.
‘What are you doing?’ asks Thea.
‘Trying to find some cups.’
‘Do you think we’re supposed to . . .’ begins Bryn.
‘What?’ says Emily sarcastically. ‘“Make ourselves at home”? Of course we’re supposed to. Or – I know – maybe we could just not drink anything until we all collapse and die. Then I guess we won’t get into any trouble.’
Bryn seems offended. ‘Sorry,’ he says huffily.
‘I think we’re already in trouble,’ says Thea.
Paul looks over at Bryn. ‘I think we should go ahead and do what we want, just like the note said. For Christ’s sake, we didn’t exactly ask to come here.’
Bryn looks pissed off. He lights one of Emily’s cigarettes. Thea lights one too.
Anne’s thinking about those TV programmes where members of the public get duped by some trick or other, sometimes involving throwing puppies off a bridge (not
really
!) or giving someone something to hold and then running away. The joke is always that trusting passers-by will be happy to stop and help without realising that they are being set up for a joke, or will try to stop the ‘comedian’ from throwing the puppies over the bridge, without realising that there are no puppies, without realising that the
joke
is that there are no puppies. By trying to stop the comedian from throwing them over the bridge, the passers-by seem stupid, because the comedian and the audience know that there are no puppies.
‘So who wants coffee?’ asks Paul, having found some cups.
Everyone says
me
or grunts, except Anne, who doesn’t like tea or coffee.
‘What do you think they gave us?’ asks Jamie.
‘Downers?’ suggests Bryn. ‘They sometimes make me feel sick,’ he adds.
‘I don’t feel right at all,’ says Jamie, shaking his head. ‘I’m still all woozy.’
‘The coffee might make you feel better,’ says Thea. She looks like shit.
Paul opens the fridge to get some milk. Anne’s wondering what the chances are of there actually being any in there. After all, this is an island in
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