This came from Lamar?” He nodded. “You don’t believe them, do you?”
He didn’t answer. Maybe he did believe it; maybe he needed to believe. But Caitlin would have a hard time accepting the idea. He’d never asked her whether she believed his claims of where he’d been. He assumed she didn’t, and he forgave her for that. But he didn’t want to hear it outright.
Caitlin stood and went to the railing, gripping it. “Damn, but this makes me mad. Look at you. I see that look in your eyes, Titus, and it makes me real mad. They’ve done the worst thing to you that they possibly could have done. They’ve made you hope again.”
Caitlin wrapped her sweater more closely around her in the chill December air. Just when she thought there might be a future for Titus, the past threatened to swallow him up once more. She’d be damned if she’d let that happen.
She went to him, sitting down knee to knee with him and taking his hands in hers. What to say to a man who heard only what he wanted to, whose stubbornness was as strong a legend as his sojourn in another realm?
Taking a deep breath, she said, “I wish I could change things for you. But they’re gone, Titus. It hurts so bad, but they’re gone for good. I’d jump off this porch for you if I could make it different. But nothing, nothing will bring them back.”
She searched his face for a response, but she was talking to a man who’d piloted star ships. So of course he wasn’t listening to cautions. Why should he? Was this safe little apartment with a safe little wife the sum of his dreams? No, not even close. It was what she loved about the man, and what sometimes stirred her to imagine a bigger life, even while fearing it.
She noted his glance as he looked back at Rob in the living room. Pouring another splash, she said, “We’ll get by, Rob and me. I’ve still got a degree in engineering that I can do something with. We’ll get by; don’t you worry about us.” But Titus’s eyes were stoked with some pale fire, and her words slid away from him. “God damn you, Titus, if you go and get yourself killed.”
“Thanks,” he said, eyes mock large.
“Don’t get goofy with me, Titus. I mean this.”
“Yes ma’am.”
From somewhere, perhaps the apartment below, came the tinny refrain of a Christmas carol.
Quinn knew she meant it. But the harder she pushed, the more he went opposite, and the more he said to himself, What if they had found the other place? And why was hope the worst thing that could happen to him? Even if it was a mirage, wasn’t it better than—than what he had?
She shook her head. “I read you like a book. You aren’t listening to me.”
He put a hand on her arm. “I am listening to you, Sister-in-law. But I might not mind what you say.”
She wavered, finally smiling. “No, you never minded. Lamar told me all the stories. You never listened.” She looked more wistful than he’d ever seen her. He didn’t like disappointing her, his staunchest ally in his war against, quite possibly, the whole world.
Caitlin vowed not to share the Minerva news with Rob, at least until after Quinn went home. He didn’t want to argue with his brother, though he’d have to, eventually. When he and Caitlin entered the parlor, they found Rob asleep in front of the silvered wall.
Then, tiptoeing into the kids’ room, Quinn checked on his favorite niece and nephew.
From a dark corner of the room came the voice of the toy savant, Jasmine Star. Her program activated by motion sensors, her mechanized voice exclaimed: “Come to do battle, pagan scum?”
Emily was sleeping with her hands thrown over her head like she was jumping into a lake. Mateo was dreaming hard, twitching.
Maybe it was true that Caitlin and Rob could take care of themselves, as his sister-in-law had said. They didn’t need a benevolent brother holding the world off with bloody fists. But what if that brother had brought players onto the field that would never have
He didn’t answer. Maybe he did believe it; maybe he needed to believe. But Caitlin would have a hard time accepting the idea. He’d never asked her whether she believed his claims of where he’d been. He assumed she didn’t, and he forgave her for that. But he didn’t want to hear it outright.
Caitlin stood and went to the railing, gripping it. “Damn, but this makes me mad. Look at you. I see that look in your eyes, Titus, and it makes me real mad. They’ve done the worst thing to you that they possibly could have done. They’ve made you hope again.”
Caitlin wrapped her sweater more closely around her in the chill December air. Just when she thought there might be a future for Titus, the past threatened to swallow him up once more. She’d be damned if she’d let that happen.
She went to him, sitting down knee to knee with him and taking his hands in hers. What to say to a man who heard only what he wanted to, whose stubbornness was as strong a legend as his sojourn in another realm?
Taking a deep breath, she said, “I wish I could change things for you. But they’re gone, Titus. It hurts so bad, but they’re gone for good. I’d jump off this porch for you if I could make it different. But nothing, nothing will bring them back.”
She searched his face for a response, but she was talking to a man who’d piloted star ships. So of course he wasn’t listening to cautions. Why should he? Was this safe little apartment with a safe little wife the sum of his dreams? No, not even close. It was what she loved about the man, and what sometimes stirred her to imagine a bigger life, even while fearing it.
She noted his glance as he looked back at Rob in the living room. Pouring another splash, she said, “We’ll get by, Rob and me. I’ve still got a degree in engineering that I can do something with. We’ll get by; don’t you worry about us.” But Titus’s eyes were stoked with some pale fire, and her words slid away from him. “God damn you, Titus, if you go and get yourself killed.”
“Thanks,” he said, eyes mock large.
“Don’t get goofy with me, Titus. I mean this.”
“Yes ma’am.”
From somewhere, perhaps the apartment below, came the tinny refrain of a Christmas carol.
Quinn knew she meant it. But the harder she pushed, the more he went opposite, and the more he said to himself, What if they had found the other place? And why was hope the worst thing that could happen to him? Even if it was a mirage, wasn’t it better than—than what he had?
She shook her head. “I read you like a book. You aren’t listening to me.”
He put a hand on her arm. “I am listening to you, Sister-in-law. But I might not mind what you say.”
She wavered, finally smiling. “No, you never minded. Lamar told me all the stories. You never listened.” She looked more wistful than he’d ever seen her. He didn’t like disappointing her, his staunchest ally in his war against, quite possibly, the whole world.
Caitlin vowed not to share the Minerva news with Rob, at least until after Quinn went home. He didn’t want to argue with his brother, though he’d have to, eventually. When he and Caitlin entered the parlor, they found Rob asleep in front of the silvered wall.
Then, tiptoeing into the kids’ room, Quinn checked on his favorite niece and nephew.
From a dark corner of the room came the voice of the toy savant, Jasmine Star. Her program activated by motion sensors, her mechanized voice exclaimed: “Come to do battle, pagan scum?”
Emily was sleeping with her hands thrown over her head like she was jumping into a lake. Mateo was dreaming hard, twitching.
Maybe it was true that Caitlin and Rob could take care of themselves, as his sister-in-law had said. They didn’t need a benevolent brother holding the world off with bloody fists. But what if that brother had brought players onto the field that would never have
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