Read Online Breathless by Lurlene McDaniel - Free Book Online Page A

“He will.”
    “Is—is that how you got Travis?”
    Her chin’s tilted, and I see that she’s suspicious of me. I realize how calculating I must have sounded to her. “Travis got me,” I say. “He got me by caring. That’s why I love him. Because he cares and isn’t afraid to show it. Isn’t that what girls want? Someone who makes us feel special and loved and wanted?”
    She doesn’t answer me, so I smile and get into my car. “Travis is my one true love,” I say out the window. “I’ll do anything to make him happy. Got to run. Don’t want Travis alone too long.”
    I drive off, watching Emily trudge toward the school library, and hope she’s clever enough to take on Cooper Kulani.

C OOPER
    E ver since Travis asked me to help him end his life, it’s all I think about. I’m on edge, and my temper’s out of control. I get into trouble at school. Punched a guy in gym for mouthing off to me. An automatic suspension, but no one rats me out. Smart, because all I want is an excuse to pound on somebody.
    I argue with Travis. I tell him I don’t want to go through with his plan even though I get his logic. He’s shown me stuff from the Internet about death-with-dignity and right-to-die groups like the Final Exit Network and Compassion & Choices. He’s shown me the aid-in-dying law that’s part of Oregon’s state legislation, and examples of euthanasia programs in Holland, Switzerland, andBelgium. “It’s civilized,” Travis says. “It gives a person a choice over their exit from planet Earth. What’s wrong with that?”
    “It doesn’t feel civilized,” I tell him. But he won’t stop pushing me to help him. For him it’s a head game, a competition, like going after medals in a diving meet: This is what I want. This is how I’m going to get it. “You’re playing God,” I tell him. I know he believes in that religion stuff.
    “You don’t believe in God,” he tells me.
    “Well, Emily does. Would she approve?”
    “But Emily isn’t going to know, is she? It’s just between you and me, bro. My family will never know how it goes down. It’ll be an accident. Got that?”
    His parents won’t even consent to a DNR, something that makes sense to me. It’s something I’d want if I were in his place. “What about Darla? You going to tell her?”
    His face clouds. “Probably not. She works pretty hard to keep me happy.” He shakes his head. “But I hate keeping it from her too.”
    “Don’t you think Darla and Emily will figure it out once it’s over?”
    “Maybe they will. Maybe they won’t. You’d never tell them.”
    “And don’t you think it will wreck them both?”
    “I can’t think about that.” He’s pushed back in his dad’s recliner; he’s just skin and bones, a far cry from the champion athlete I once knew. “I know what I’m asking puts you in a tough place, Coop, but if you just leave me on the platform in the lake, if you take the boat back to shore, if you just play dumb, no one will blame you.”
    I think, I’ll blame me. Does he get how final death is? No turning back. My mouth is sour, and I chase away the taste with a swallow of beer. “You have a time line?”
    “Depends on if Darla gets the lead in that play If she does—well, I wouldn’t want to spoil her big moment. I should see her perform.”
    “Thoughtful of you.”
    He gives me a cold look. “I know you don’t approve, but with or without you, I’m doing this. I’d rather have you with me.”
    I’ve had a headache for two weeks, and it’s pounding now. “I don’t know.”
    He coughs, finds his breath, and says, “You’ve got until May. Right before finals week.”
    “Ironic.”
    He grins. “So will you help me?”
    Emily asks if I can take her home from the library, which surprises me because she pretty much ignores my existence. She’s all nervous and jumpy when she asks. I tell her I don’t mind, and that’s the truth. I don’t know why that girl gets to me, but she does and