all of a sudden?â Jairo seemed amused for a second, but then he started coughing and that wiped the smile from his face. Finally, he grabbed enough breath to demand the stereo. âCâmon, Sonny, are you deaf as well as queer?â
âTurn down the TV and I might be able to hear you insult me a bit better!â For a beat, it seemed like even the women on the screen fell silent. Jairo just looked up at me, no longer coughing but wheezing heavily, and then made a vague attempt to stand.
âDo you need your cane?â I asked, hoping to gloss over what had just been said.
My uncle nodded, eyes down now, supporting himself with one hand on the table. âThat would be good,â he said, and stayed stooped there as I fetched it for him.
I didnât think either of us wanted to fall out all the time. It seemed so pointless, a war that neither of us could win because weâd only destroy my mother. I collected the cane from the corner of the room, and guided both his hands to the crook.
âJust take it easy and get your breath back.â
He thanked me twice, reached up to his full height, and for a moment I thought he was falling into me.
The blow got me in the chest â a two-fisted sock with the crook in-between that knocked me off my feet. I fell back into the curtain, bringing it down with me. The stereo hit the floor at the same time, and that was when my uncle started yelling over the TV.
âHow dare you play the big man with me, Sonny! When will you learn that Iâm the man here, understand? I ⦠am ⦠the man!â
I knew he was going to hit me again. I thrust out my hand, but he kicked it away. Uncle Jairo had a clear advantage, and not just because he was standing over me. He got me in the balls next, so hard I curled up like a salted slug. The pain swam into my stomach, up my back, and left me writhing pathetically. Even though my uncle was sick, I was no match when his fury took a hold.
â
I pity your father, giving birth to a loser like you
â¦â
He cursed and swore at me with every strike, and went on to scream about my mother, too. He was careful to avoid my face, I realised, but I only had two hands and that wasnât enough to shield the rest of my body.
Then he began to use his shoe heel to stamp on me, and I thought about the gun.
I could feel it underneath me, digging into my back. A voice in my head screamed at me to reach round for it and take out that sucker. There was no way I would let him finish me off like this, after all. I wasnât going to leave the world in the same way as that thief had left Gallianoâs store. I was a fighter. And like Alberto, I just wanted to be safe.
âYou stupid, goddam son of a whore
â¦
â
I knew I was capable of squeezing the trigger, but I had made a promise to my friend. Thatâs why I kept reminding myself that this was just a punishment. Jairo wasnât dumb enough to kill me here, or leave a mark I couldnât hide, so I bunched up as best I could until he had finished.
âDamn it, now the stereo is bust,â he wheezed eventually, and gave me one last, half-hearted kick. âWhy is everything made so bad these days?â
I heard him drop back into the chair, and wrestle with his inhaler. The women on the TV were still arguing, the audience behind them now. I didnât move from the floor. The pain from where heâd caught me in the
huevas
had turned my stomach to stone, and my sides felt like theyâd come apart if I stopped hugging myself. All I could do was fight for breath, just like my uncle, and feel the curtain underneath my cheek grow damp with tears.
âIâm sorry that itâs come to this,â I heard him say next, only to break off and cough into his fist again. âJust show some respect in future. Youâre twelve years old, damn it. A kid your age shouldnât have to be told twice. Just because youâre smart,
âTurn down the TV and I might be able to hear you insult me a bit better!â For a beat, it seemed like even the women on the screen fell silent. Jairo just looked up at me, no longer coughing but wheezing heavily, and then made a vague attempt to stand.
âDo you need your cane?â I asked, hoping to gloss over what had just been said.
My uncle nodded, eyes down now, supporting himself with one hand on the table. âThat would be good,â he said, and stayed stooped there as I fetched it for him.
I didnât think either of us wanted to fall out all the time. It seemed so pointless, a war that neither of us could win because weâd only destroy my mother. I collected the cane from the corner of the room, and guided both his hands to the crook.
âJust take it easy and get your breath back.â
He thanked me twice, reached up to his full height, and for a moment I thought he was falling into me.
The blow got me in the chest â a two-fisted sock with the crook in-between that knocked me off my feet. I fell back into the curtain, bringing it down with me. The stereo hit the floor at the same time, and that was when my uncle started yelling over the TV.
âHow dare you play the big man with me, Sonny! When will you learn that Iâm the man here, understand? I ⦠am ⦠the man!â
I knew he was going to hit me again. I thrust out my hand, but he kicked it away. Uncle Jairo had a clear advantage, and not just because he was standing over me. He got me in the balls next, so hard I curled up like a salted slug. The pain swam into my stomach, up my back, and left me writhing pathetically. Even though my uncle was sick, I was no match when his fury took a hold.
â
I pity your father, giving birth to a loser like you
â¦â
He cursed and swore at me with every strike, and went on to scream about my mother, too. He was careful to avoid my face, I realised, but I only had two hands and that wasnât enough to shield the rest of my body.
Then he began to use his shoe heel to stamp on me, and I thought about the gun.
I could feel it underneath me, digging into my back. A voice in my head screamed at me to reach round for it and take out that sucker. There was no way I would let him finish me off like this, after all. I wasnât going to leave the world in the same way as that thief had left Gallianoâs store. I was a fighter. And like Alberto, I just wanted to be safe.
âYou stupid, goddam son of a whore
â¦
â
I knew I was capable of squeezing the trigger, but I had made a promise to my friend. Thatâs why I kept reminding myself that this was just a punishment. Jairo wasnât dumb enough to kill me here, or leave a mark I couldnât hide, so I bunched up as best I could until he had finished.
âDamn it, now the stereo is bust,â he wheezed eventually, and gave me one last, half-hearted kick. âWhy is everything made so bad these days?â
I heard him drop back into the chair, and wrestle with his inhaler. The women on the TV were still arguing, the audience behind them now. I didnât move from the floor. The pain from where heâd caught me in the
huevas
had turned my stomach to stone, and my sides felt like theyâd come apart if I stopped hugging myself. All I could do was fight for breath, just like my uncle, and feel the curtain underneath my cheek grow damp with tears.
âIâm sorry that itâs come to this,â I heard him say next, only to break off and cough into his fist again. âJust show some respect in future. Youâre twelve years old, damn it. A kid your age shouldnât have to be told twice. Just because youâre smart,
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