love. First decent breakfast I’ve had all week.’
‘What have you been eating?’ I ask, somewhat dreading the answer.
‘ Cheap bacon sandwiches from the burger van on the industrial estate.’
‘What’s Sammy been having?’
‘Milk and a bit of my bacon roll.’
‘ I’ll go shopping again later. Get some proper food in.’
‘Wo uld you write down a few meals that I can do for Sammy?’ Dad asks. ‘Simple things. You know. That even someone like me can do.’
I smile. My dad can make the simplest cooking complicated. He tried to make sausage and mash once. I still shudder at the places I found mashed potato.
‘Of course I will Dad, but you needn’t worry for the time being. I’m going to stay here a few days.’
‘You are?’
‘Of course. I’m not going to leave you and Sammy alone.’
‘You’ll still do your shows, won’t you love?’
‘Yes. I can’t let the audiences down. But I’ll make sure I leave you and Sammy with a good meal and instructions for his bedtime. Do you have someone who can babysit when you’re out working?’
‘I’m not working right now. I need to g et my head together.’
‘ I wish you’d called me before. What did you think? That I’d turn up on Christmas day and not notice what a state the house was in?’
‘I thought I’d have it cleared up by then.’
‘Ever the optimist.’ I smile, and I’m happy to see Dad give me a tired smile in return.
‘Something like that.’
19
After I’ve cleared away the breakfast things, I hang out the washing and spend the rest of the morning stocking up on supplies and playing with Sammy.
I make a simple lunch of soup and sandwiches – finger sandwiches with marmite for Sammy, and cheese and pickle for Dad and I, washed down with mugs of milk from the local farm.
While the three of us eat , I watch my dad and realise how glad I am to be here taking care of him.
This last week must have been really stressful for him. He doesn’t have a clue when it comes to housework and cooking.
He loves Sammy to bits, but he’s all fingers and thumbs when he changes diapers, and he can never quite remember how much milk Sam should have, and all the other practical things about looking after a baby.
It’s really not his fault. It would be like asking me to drive Dad’s taxi. I’d have no idea how to work the metre, or the best route from the high street to the train station.
‘I wish I had time to get you a Christmas tree,’ I say, looking at the empty corner of the lounge where we’d usually put a real fir. ‘We went to the village earlier, but the grocers had sold out.’
Dad chews a mouthful of cheese and pickle sandwich. ‘Sorry love. I meant to get one, but somehow Christmas Eve came far quicker than I thought it would. So when’s your fella coming to stay?’
‘ Marc? I’m hoping he’ll come tonight. After the show. It’s going to be weird having him as a guest here. But good weird, I hope.’
There’s an awkward silence.
‘Are you angry at me?’ Dad asks. ‘About not giving the two of you my blessing yet?’
‘Not angry,’ I say. ‘Just … I guess a little confused. I love him so much, and he loves me. I don’t know how you can’t see it.’
Dad sighs. ‘ Genoveva and I moved in together quickly. And now I realise that maybe I didn’t know her at all. For her to leave Sammy like that … she’s not the woman I thought she was.
‘I couldn’t stand for you to be in th e pain I’m in right now. You and Marc … it all seems very … I don’t know. Sudden. He’s so much older, and you’ve hardly known each other five minutes. I don’t want you making a mistake.’
‘When you know you know. Isn’t that what you always said with Mum? That you were young, but you both knew you wanted to be together forever?’
‘And is that what you want? With this Marc fellow? A forever kind of thing?’
‘M ore than anything.’ I look down at my sandwich. ‘He’s the most amazing person.
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