Read Online Boston Boys [01] - A Life Without You by Erica Pike - Free Book Online Page B

repeats.
    “I know,” I whisper into his neck, which makes him shudder.
    “Just put it down as college experimentation or some such to shock your kids with in the future.”
    His chest bounces against mine when he laughs. “No way am I telling anyone I just did that.”
    “Do you regret it?” I ask. “Did I force you into it?” He hesitates for a bit before answering. “No. But it can’t happen again, okay? I know it’s unfair to you, but I just…I can’t…Anne…”
    I pull back and give him a weak smile. “I understand.” His eyes look sad as he watches me.
    I lower my gaze to the beer-puddle on the floor and ask the question that I haven’t been able to shake for two whole weeks.
    “Jesse, are you bi?”
    I can feel him watching me, but I can’t bring myself to look up to read his face. His seconds of silence have my mind spinning with questions and heart-wrenching hope.
    “No,” he finally says with a breath. Then with a sigh he adds,
    “I don’t know. Maybe.”
    I look up and the hope in my heart must be screaming out because he shakes his head while he struggles with what to say.
    “You don’t know? Maybe you should break up with Anne if you’re not sure about your sexuality. I’ll even stay clear of you until you figure it out. I’ll –”
    “Adam,” Jesse cuts me off with a sad smile. “I don’t know if I’m bi even though I really, really liked what we just did. And even if it turns out I am bi then that means that I also like girls. I’m still going to marry Anne. I’m so sorry if I got your hopes up, 54 Erica Pike
    but it’s best if you just cross me off that list, okay? I hate seeing you hurt because of me.”
    He stands up and awkwardly rinses his hand in the sink while I drop down next to the beer-puddle to sit on the floor with my back against the wall.
    “Um, is it okay if I leave? I’m completely spent.” He gestures towards our bedroom. “I’ll clean the beer up in the morning.” I nod, and as soon as he steps out and closes the door I release every bit of air from my lungs before I fetch a rag to mop up the beer.

chAPteR six
    There’s noise in the hallway, which is unusual since it’s not even noon yet. Since our room is at the very end of the hall, not sharing a wall with the other rooms, we usually can’t hear the other boys when our door is closed. But they’re hollering downstairs like a bunch of beasts watching a game of football.
    Only football season is over.
    “What the hell is going on?” growls Jesse. He has been bent over an assignment for hours. “They’ve been at it for ten minutes.”
    “Wanna check it out?” I ask after hours of pretending to be studying. I can’t get Jesse off my mind. It’s a good thing Eric’s been dragging me off to the library every day, so I’m up to speed with everything, but Eric went to town to see his friends today.
    I brush against Jesse as we go out the door. He glances at me very quickly, but I’m too slow to catch his eyes. My fingers twitch as we stride down the corridor side by side. I have this sudden urge to grab his hand, but I know he wouldn’t let me. I might be able to guilt him into letting me hold it back in the room, because he’s being extra considerate of me, but he’d never allow it in public.
    It’s not like he’s let me kiss him or touch him since the bathroom incident two weeks ago, but he’s tried to be very open with me and allows me to ogle him without raising a complaint.
    Well, he sometimes teases me, but it’s all good natured. The only time we’ve spoken of the bathroom thing was after I finally stood up and exited the bathroom. I apologized to him, saying that I really didn’t know what I was doing until I was doing it. He said that it was his fault really, for following me into the bathroom knowing full well how aroused both of us were.
    I don’t know if the beast within me scared him, but he hasn’t risked any deep questions about male sex again. Maybe something