Read Online Born to Fight by Mark Hunt, Ben Mckelvey - Free Book Online
Authors: Mark Hunt, Ben Mckelvey
Tags: Biography
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life once because I assumed another, better life would emerge. It hadn’t. Once again, though, I realised I didn’t want what this dude was selling. What he was suggesting was a life that wasn’t just peppered with fights, but real beat-downs and probably even worse than that.
That wasn’t me. I didn’t want to terrorise people. I had, and I felt shitty about it. I told Tai I was right where I was.
At my day job I saw my other future, which was perhaps even more unpalatable. One of my supervisors at the factory was a broken-down old Pakeha man, whose only energy for life was what he could muster from the office supply of powdered coffee. I disliked him because I saw in hima possible future version of myself. Every day I went to that place, a voice in my head got louder and louder.
You’re going to be that old man. It’ll happen in a minute, bro, in a second. You’ll look up one day and you’ll be him.
These were the two possible futures I saw in front of me, and I didn’t want either of them. For whatever reason, though, I couldn’t do anything to carve out a third path. I was in a rut and when my life hits a rut, the bad voices of those lesser angels start taking over. I found myself sporadically street fighting and robbing again, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t a lark anymore. I was doing it because I was angry, and even though I hated myself for doing it, I couldn’t seem to stop it.
Of course I ended up going down again for assault. This time it was just a month stint, but that month at The Rock (Mount Eden Corrections Facility) felt like years. We were in lockdown 22 hours a day and I soon started to despair. The last time I’d been in prison I was escaping my family home, escaping the old man. This time I wasn’t escaping anything and there wasn’t really anything to look forward to when I got out, either.
This was the first time it occurred to me that maybe I wasn’t going to be anything more than a thug and a criminal. Maybe I should just embrace that shit, nom up and be done with it.
‘At risk’, I guess you would have called it. When I got out of the joint the second time, you could have pointed me anywhere and I would have followed. Luckily for the good people of Auckland, someone ended up pointing me towards Australia.
The idea first came into my head when my mate Tokoa, whom we called Tooks – a feisty little fella from school Dave and I had spent quite a bit of time with since – came home after a year in Australia. He first came to us before he left. We were sitting in Dave’s garage playing Mortal Kombat on the PlayStation, and he told us about his plans across the ditch, and what he’d heard about Oz.
‘All you need to do in Australia is just nod at the girls on the bus, and you’re in. It’s that easy there, bro,’ Tooks said.
I didn’t know about that, sounded like bullshit. Then Tooks came back, and he found us still playing Mortal Kombat. A year had passed and he’d come home to see his family. He found us in the exact same spot, doing the exact same thing. I was still bouncing, still at John Young Manufacturing. Nothing had changed.
When Tooks asked what we’d been doing, Dave and I gave embarrassed looks.
‘Shit boys, you got to do something with your lives. You can’t just sit around in a garage playing video games forever.’
He was right. It’d be pretty easy to spend another year the way we had the previous one and, before you knew it, those years would add up.
‘Hey, was it true about the girls on the bus?’ I asked Tooks.
‘Come and find out.’
It was an idea, but not one that took form until Dave got a call a few months later. We were once again in Dave’s garage, once again with PlayStation controllers in our hands, bashing away at a game of Mortal Kombat. When the phone rang and Dave picked it up, I could tell he wanted to get off the phone until he started to warm to what was being said. Soon he was quite animated and his
That wasn’t me. I didn’t want to terrorise people. I had, and I felt shitty about it. I told Tai I was right where I was.
At my day job I saw my other future, which was perhaps even more unpalatable. One of my supervisors at the factory was a broken-down old Pakeha man, whose only energy for life was what he could muster from the office supply of powdered coffee. I disliked him because I saw in hima possible future version of myself. Every day I went to that place, a voice in my head got louder and louder.
You’re going to be that old man. It’ll happen in a minute, bro, in a second. You’ll look up one day and you’ll be him.
These were the two possible futures I saw in front of me, and I didn’t want either of them. For whatever reason, though, I couldn’t do anything to carve out a third path. I was in a rut and when my life hits a rut, the bad voices of those lesser angels start taking over. I found myself sporadically street fighting and robbing again, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t a lark anymore. I was doing it because I was angry, and even though I hated myself for doing it, I couldn’t seem to stop it.
Of course I ended up going down again for assault. This time it was just a month stint, but that month at The Rock (Mount Eden Corrections Facility) felt like years. We were in lockdown 22 hours a day and I soon started to despair. The last time I’d been in prison I was escaping my family home, escaping the old man. This time I wasn’t escaping anything and there wasn’t really anything to look forward to when I got out, either.
This was the first time it occurred to me that maybe I wasn’t going to be anything more than a thug and a criminal. Maybe I should just embrace that shit, nom up and be done with it.
‘At risk’, I guess you would have called it. When I got out of the joint the second time, you could have pointed me anywhere and I would have followed. Luckily for the good people of Auckland, someone ended up pointing me towards Australia.
The idea first came into my head when my mate Tokoa, whom we called Tooks – a feisty little fella from school Dave and I had spent quite a bit of time with since – came home after a year in Australia. He first came to us before he left. We were sitting in Dave’s garage playing Mortal Kombat on the PlayStation, and he told us about his plans across the ditch, and what he’d heard about Oz.
‘All you need to do in Australia is just nod at the girls on the bus, and you’re in. It’s that easy there, bro,’ Tooks said.
I didn’t know about that, sounded like bullshit. Then Tooks came back, and he found us still playing Mortal Kombat. A year had passed and he’d come home to see his family. He found us in the exact same spot, doing the exact same thing. I was still bouncing, still at John Young Manufacturing. Nothing had changed.
When Tooks asked what we’d been doing, Dave and I gave embarrassed looks.
‘Shit boys, you got to do something with your lives. You can’t just sit around in a garage playing video games forever.’
He was right. It’d be pretty easy to spend another year the way we had the previous one and, before you knew it, those years would add up.
‘Hey, was it true about the girls on the bus?’ I asked Tooks.
‘Come and find out.’
It was an idea, but not one that took form until Dave got a call a few months later. We were once again in Dave’s garage, once again with PlayStation controllers in our hands, bashing away at a game of Mortal Kombat. When the phone rang and Dave picked it up, I could tell he wanted to get off the phone until he started to warm to what was being said. Soon he was quite animated and his
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