Every other thought I had, aside from going back to school, involved Jane. Small memories, like the way she’d bug me to hurry up in the morning, bringing me a glass of orange juice before school. I had to remember she wasn’t going to do that. I had to be responsible, but as hard as I tried, I didn’t want to be.
I yanked open all the drawers before me, makeup shifting and rolling inside. I wasn’t sure just what I was looking for, but a black thought dominated my mind. As though I’d hoped for it, a familiar rattle came from the drawer to my left, tickling my curiosity. My hands dropped from the drawer handles, delving inside to shift the contents about, searching out the source of the familiar rattle. This particular drawer was cluttered with forgotten items. My anxious hands summoned forth things I hadn’t seen in years until—there it was. I stared at it as it sat there staring back at me. It seemed so simple but yet loaded with danger, bad memories, and an Emily I had hoped to put behind me. My hand reached for the orange prescription bottle though my mind screamed to leave it alone.
But what did it matter?
If it was such a horrid thing to have, wouldn’t Max have already found it? He’d scoured every other inch of my room but had somehow overlooked this drawer. There had to be a reason for it—fate. My fingers grasped at the bottle and I shook it in my hand. A few small items rattled inside, shadowed behind the opaque plastic. I compressed the lid and twisted it open with my palm, peering inside. For a few brief moments I had forgotten about time altogether, so drawn by this object that Jane’s death had left my mind. Realizing this, I found it felt good and I wanted that feeling to continue.
I reached a finger into the bottle and retrieved one red pill. I rolled it onto my palm, observing the plain oval shape. The bottle contained the pills I’d originally gotten from Greg when all this started—the blood pills. A craving was triggered from somewhere deep inside me, someplace evil, someplace wanting. I’d forgotten about these pills as Greg had then kidnapped me, feeding me his blood straight from the vein instead.
I shuddered at the thought. That shudder alone reminded me of how horrible that whole experience was. I never wanted to be that person again—and I wouldn’t. That part of me had been healed, but, then again, the pills had been a much milder way to ingest such a rare drug as Angel Blood. This I could handle. I only had a few left anyway. Besides, giving them to Max was a waste.
Without a second thought, I popped the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry before my mind got a chance to stop myself. As it went down my throat, however, the guilt kicked in. Quickly, I leaned over the sink, trying to gag the pill back up, but it was no use. I turned on the water, heat rushing to my cheeks and tears filling my eyes. Why had I done that? I was stupid. The dark reality of the world returned to me as I waited for the dreadful effects of the blood to kick in.
Hoping that ignoring what I’d done would make it go away, I began to apply my makeup, albeit shakily. Slowly, however, the effects of the pill began to cloak me in a veil of fuzziness. As I leaned away from the mirror, I instantly knew that ignoring it was not working as I felt the whole room sway, padded in a pillow of quiet.
I felt calm.
I took a deep breath, the first real breath I’d taken in some time. Hands on the counter, I summoned the strength to act as normal as possible, but all around me things began to speak to my subconscious. The whispers started as though someone where miles behind me, speaking through a tube and straight into my ear. At first I hardly noticed them as I exited the room and began to get dressed. I didn’t care what I wore as I pulled on the first pair of jeans I saw and a black and pink striped sweater. Bracing myself against the closet door, I shut my eyes, urging the feelings inside me back, still hoping
I yanked open all the drawers before me, makeup shifting and rolling inside. I wasn’t sure just what I was looking for, but a black thought dominated my mind. As though I’d hoped for it, a familiar rattle came from the drawer to my left, tickling my curiosity. My hands dropped from the drawer handles, delving inside to shift the contents about, searching out the source of the familiar rattle. This particular drawer was cluttered with forgotten items. My anxious hands summoned forth things I hadn’t seen in years until—there it was. I stared at it as it sat there staring back at me. It seemed so simple but yet loaded with danger, bad memories, and an Emily I had hoped to put behind me. My hand reached for the orange prescription bottle though my mind screamed to leave it alone.
But what did it matter?
If it was such a horrid thing to have, wouldn’t Max have already found it? He’d scoured every other inch of my room but had somehow overlooked this drawer. There had to be a reason for it—fate. My fingers grasped at the bottle and I shook it in my hand. A few small items rattled inside, shadowed behind the opaque plastic. I compressed the lid and twisted it open with my palm, peering inside. For a few brief moments I had forgotten about time altogether, so drawn by this object that Jane’s death had left my mind. Realizing this, I found it felt good and I wanted that feeling to continue.
I reached a finger into the bottle and retrieved one red pill. I rolled it onto my palm, observing the plain oval shape. The bottle contained the pills I’d originally gotten from Greg when all this started—the blood pills. A craving was triggered from somewhere deep inside me, someplace evil, someplace wanting. I’d forgotten about these pills as Greg had then kidnapped me, feeding me his blood straight from the vein instead.
I shuddered at the thought. That shudder alone reminded me of how horrible that whole experience was. I never wanted to be that person again—and I wouldn’t. That part of me had been healed, but, then again, the pills had been a much milder way to ingest such a rare drug as Angel Blood. This I could handle. I only had a few left anyway. Besides, giving them to Max was a waste.
Without a second thought, I popped the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry before my mind got a chance to stop myself. As it went down my throat, however, the guilt kicked in. Quickly, I leaned over the sink, trying to gag the pill back up, but it was no use. I turned on the water, heat rushing to my cheeks and tears filling my eyes. Why had I done that? I was stupid. The dark reality of the world returned to me as I waited for the dreadful effects of the blood to kick in.
Hoping that ignoring what I’d done would make it go away, I began to apply my makeup, albeit shakily. Slowly, however, the effects of the pill began to cloak me in a veil of fuzziness. As I leaned away from the mirror, I instantly knew that ignoring it was not working as I felt the whole room sway, padded in a pillow of quiet.
I felt calm.
I took a deep breath, the first real breath I’d taken in some time. Hands on the counter, I summoned the strength to act as normal as possible, but all around me things began to speak to my subconscious. The whispers started as though someone where miles behind me, speaking through a tube and straight into my ear. At first I hardly noticed them as I exited the room and began to get dressed. I didn’t care what I wore as I pulled on the first pair of jeans I saw and a black and pink striped sweater. Bracing myself against the closet door, I shut my eyes, urging the feelings inside me back, still hoping
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