Read Online Book Girl and the Captive Fool by Mizuki Nomura - Free Book Online
Authors: Mizuki Nomura
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dumped. Tohko has a boyfriend and all. There’s no point in falling for her. Don’t you feel awful? F-for Akutagawa, I mean.”
I listened to her talk with a grave look, my shoulders slumped.
I’m going to appear in the book club’s play at the culture fair.
The play is Mushanokōji’s Friendship. Have you ever read it?
My role is a man named Omiya, who falls for the woman his best friend loves. In the end, he steals the woman from hisfriend. When I was reading the script, I couldn’t help seeing my past and present selves in him.
I’m also an awful person who betrayed someone who trusted me.
No matter how much I regret it, I will never be able to erase the mistakes of that day.
How many nights did I have nightmares that the classroom was dyed in a sea of blood as a girl with long hair and a chisel stuck in her chest collapsed, blood flowing from her body? How often did I hear her voice berating me for breaking my promise? Each time, I repeated my penance, jolting awake and shuddering at the sensation of the sweat that poured off me cooling on my skin.
Ever since that day when my shameful choice brought down the worst results and hurt people, I’ve tried hard to pretend to be a person of integrity, but in the end I’m repeating the same mistake over again.
I meant to make the best choices wisely and cautiously, but yet again I was ruining the lives of the people who had placed their trust in me, causing them pain and sorrow.
What did I do wrong?
When did it happen? Where?
Perhaps, as foolish as I am, I have no capacity to protect you. Six years ago, I was trying to protect my friend. Even if it was a betrayal to my friend, I believed I would save her by doing it. But that was an error based on ignorance.
And I cannot shake from my mind the thought that I am even now making a mistake. I am afraid of granting your wish, because there’s no guarantee at all that it’s the right thing to do.
But what will become of you the moment I turn my back? When I consider that, doubt smolders in my heart as it hasalways done over whether it’s the right choice to go to you and comply with your wish—whether or not you insult me or despise me.
But no. It would be dishonorable.
I hope that you read this letter instead of destroying it.
Two whole weeks went by.
There was no marked change in Akutagawa’s behavior after all that, so I thought he must have solved his problem with Sarashina.
That day after school, everyone rehearsed the play again.
“They say those who have truly loved will never be brokenhearted. That seems so sad, almost unbearably sad.”
Akutagawa was giving a good performance, of course. The words he spoke so smoothly felt fringed with pain and melancholy. Maybe that was because he was going through a painful romance right now.
On the other hand, Tohko’s Nojima continued to be high-strung. It looked like she had already memorized her lines; she didn’t need to look at the script and could throw herself into the role, overacting like a mustache-twirling foreigner.
“Nakata, you say that love is like painting a picture on cloth, but I think not. That pays too little credit to the other person.”
In the pauses between lines, she strained, saying “hnnngh” and “urgggh,” and I wished she would stop.
Even in the scene where they played Ping-Pong at Sugiko’s house, Tohko acted creepy.
There were two Ping-Pong scenes, one where Nojima goes to visit Sugiko’s house and they have fun playing, though Sugiko is going easy on him. The other was when her brother and his friends gather at her house for a Ping-Pong tournament, andSugiko crushes her opponents one after the other, awash in applause, until Omiya takes her down with his merciless play. The two scenes are important for contrasting Nojima and Omiya.
Since there was no way we could hit a real ball, we decided to just pretend and play a sound effect for the actual show.
As Tohko waved her paddle around, she laughed
I listened to her talk with a grave look, my shoulders slumped.
I’m going to appear in the book club’s play at the culture fair.
The play is Mushanokōji’s Friendship. Have you ever read it?
My role is a man named Omiya, who falls for the woman his best friend loves. In the end, he steals the woman from hisfriend. When I was reading the script, I couldn’t help seeing my past and present selves in him.
I’m also an awful person who betrayed someone who trusted me.
No matter how much I regret it, I will never be able to erase the mistakes of that day.
How many nights did I have nightmares that the classroom was dyed in a sea of blood as a girl with long hair and a chisel stuck in her chest collapsed, blood flowing from her body? How often did I hear her voice berating me for breaking my promise? Each time, I repeated my penance, jolting awake and shuddering at the sensation of the sweat that poured off me cooling on my skin.
Ever since that day when my shameful choice brought down the worst results and hurt people, I’ve tried hard to pretend to be a person of integrity, but in the end I’m repeating the same mistake over again.
I meant to make the best choices wisely and cautiously, but yet again I was ruining the lives of the people who had placed their trust in me, causing them pain and sorrow.
What did I do wrong?
When did it happen? Where?
Perhaps, as foolish as I am, I have no capacity to protect you. Six years ago, I was trying to protect my friend. Even if it was a betrayal to my friend, I believed I would save her by doing it. But that was an error based on ignorance.
And I cannot shake from my mind the thought that I am even now making a mistake. I am afraid of granting your wish, because there’s no guarantee at all that it’s the right thing to do.
But what will become of you the moment I turn my back? When I consider that, doubt smolders in my heart as it hasalways done over whether it’s the right choice to go to you and comply with your wish—whether or not you insult me or despise me.
But no. It would be dishonorable.
I hope that you read this letter instead of destroying it.
Two whole weeks went by.
There was no marked change in Akutagawa’s behavior after all that, so I thought he must have solved his problem with Sarashina.
That day after school, everyone rehearsed the play again.
“They say those who have truly loved will never be brokenhearted. That seems so sad, almost unbearably sad.”
Akutagawa was giving a good performance, of course. The words he spoke so smoothly felt fringed with pain and melancholy. Maybe that was because he was going through a painful romance right now.
On the other hand, Tohko’s Nojima continued to be high-strung. It looked like she had already memorized her lines; she didn’t need to look at the script and could throw herself into the role, overacting like a mustache-twirling foreigner.
“Nakata, you say that love is like painting a picture on cloth, but I think not. That pays too little credit to the other person.”
In the pauses between lines, she strained, saying “hnnngh” and “urgggh,” and I wished she would stop.
Even in the scene where they played Ping-Pong at Sugiko’s house, Tohko acted creepy.
There were two Ping-Pong scenes, one where Nojima goes to visit Sugiko’s house and they have fun playing, though Sugiko is going easy on him. The other was when her brother and his friends gather at her house for a Ping-Pong tournament, andSugiko crushes her opponents one after the other, awash in applause, until Omiya takes her down with his merciless play. The two scenes are important for contrasting Nojima and Omiya.
Since there was no way we could hit a real ball, we decided to just pretend and play a sound effect for the actual show.
As Tohko waved her paddle around, she laughed
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