shown, but so had Squint Vrolet, Spider Webb,
and dozens of other foot soldiers of little consequence.
No matter. Everyone seemed pleased to honor their empress. The fun
grew more exuberant without growing rowdier. Louder without getting
physical. Food came. More wine flowed. And a whole orchestra of alarm
horns hooted and tooted in the paranoid cellars of my mind.
Of the gathering I was alone in not swilling wine. I have no taste
for spoiled grape. I’m a beer, ale, mead, and stout man. Though the
stout brewers tend to shovel in too much mud.
A baffled Morley Dotes observed from the door of the passage to the
kitchen. More drink than food was coming out now.
Would tonight turn out like evenings in the old-time valhalls, where
the thane’s men drank themselves unconscious
and collapsed on the straw-strewn floors? In their own puke. Among the
household livestock and table waste.
No straw here. Darn.
Up front, Saucerhead and his crew had scorned the demon grape, too.
My rat and pixie friends did not immediately fall under the
influence, either, though not for lack of trying. I heard Melondie
Kadare bitching because the biggies were tracking every ounce of
TunFaire Gold. The cheap-ass bastards.
I left my table and drifted over to Morley. “What do you think, old
buddy?”
Dotes murmured, “If you know anything, you’re two legs up on me.
It’s like one of those temples where they smoke and drink to get closer
to God.”
“Yeah. They’ll bring out the accordions any minute. Meantime, what
the hell is happening?”
“All I know is, I had to send out for more wine. Look at them.
They’re completely messed up.”
“So the bloodshed we imagined don’t look like it’s going to happen.
How are we fixed for Relway alerts?”
This gathering would be a wet dream come true for Relway’s crowd. So
how come they weren’t all over outside?
“Don’t worry about them,” Morley said. “Worry about what Belinda
still has in her trick sack. All this happy might be part of her
scheme.”
Our hostess was being kittenishly cheerful with the top
goombahs—with a kitten in her lap. But… “She hasn’t been drinking.” I
nudged a cat away from my foot. “That’s a new shoe, hair ball.” Then,
“Think she put something in the wine?”
“No. I bought it. From vendors she wouldn’t know. It isn’t the wine.
If it was that, they’d be cutting each other’s throats.”
Right. No one was immune, drinking or not. “It’s in the air. The
wine just makes it worse.”
“Picture the possibilities if dancing girls came in.”
“Put the old emperors to shame. Look. Even Belinda isn’t immune.”
Miss Contague loosed a blast of cackling laughter. She slapped Rory
Sculdyte on the back. Rory bellowed his own hilarity.
Rory Sculdyte was the man most likely to treat Belinda to a dip in
the river wearing iron swimwear. Rory knew in his secret heart that he
had been cheated of his birthright when Chodo took over.
I told Morley, “You better get back to work. ’Cause here she comes.”
Morley did. And Belinda did. I told her, “You need to laugh more,
woman. You’re more attractive when you laugh.”
“And when I don’t?”
“You’re still attractive, he admitted reluctantly because it blunted
his point.”
“Tell me something, old friend. Why am I having fun?”
“If I knew, I’d get my business partners to come bottle it.”
“Seriously, Garrett.”
“Seriously, Contague. Maybe somebody put wormwood in the wine casks.
You saying it’s not your fault? Not part of your evil master plan?”
“I’ll take credit. But I didn’t plan it. No. You know I expected
tonight to turn darker. But I can’t go through with it now.”
“Then get on with the business with your father. Save the bad-girl
stuff for when I’m on the other side of town. Work some magic here so
you don’t have to do the bad-girl stuff.”
“What have you been smoking?”
“I don’t do that. I can dream, can’t
and dozens of other foot soldiers of little consequence.
No matter. Everyone seemed pleased to honor their empress. The fun
grew more exuberant without growing rowdier. Louder without getting
physical. Food came. More wine flowed. And a whole orchestra of alarm
horns hooted and tooted in the paranoid cellars of my mind.
Of the gathering I was alone in not swilling wine. I have no taste
for spoiled grape. I’m a beer, ale, mead, and stout man. Though the
stout brewers tend to shovel in too much mud.
A baffled Morley Dotes observed from the door of the passage to the
kitchen. More drink than food was coming out now.
Would tonight turn out like evenings in the old-time valhalls, where
the thane’s men drank themselves unconscious
and collapsed on the straw-strewn floors? In their own puke. Among the
household livestock and table waste.
No straw here. Darn.
Up front, Saucerhead and his crew had scorned the demon grape, too.
My rat and pixie friends did not immediately fall under the
influence, either, though not for lack of trying. I heard Melondie
Kadare bitching because the biggies were tracking every ounce of
TunFaire Gold. The cheap-ass bastards.
I left my table and drifted over to Morley. “What do you think, old
buddy?”
Dotes murmured, “If you know anything, you’re two legs up on me.
It’s like one of those temples where they smoke and drink to get closer
to God.”
“Yeah. They’ll bring out the accordions any minute. Meantime, what
the hell is happening?”
“All I know is, I had to send out for more wine. Look at them.
They’re completely messed up.”
“So the bloodshed we imagined don’t look like it’s going to happen.
How are we fixed for Relway alerts?”
This gathering would be a wet dream come true for Relway’s crowd. So
how come they weren’t all over outside?
“Don’t worry about them,” Morley said. “Worry about what Belinda
still has in her trick sack. All this happy might be part of her
scheme.”
Our hostess was being kittenishly cheerful with the top
goombahs—with a kitten in her lap. But… “She hasn’t been drinking.” I
nudged a cat away from my foot. “That’s a new shoe, hair ball.” Then,
“Think she put something in the wine?”
“No. I bought it. From vendors she wouldn’t know. It isn’t the wine.
If it was that, they’d be cutting each other’s throats.”
Right. No one was immune, drinking or not. “It’s in the air. The
wine just makes it worse.”
“Picture the possibilities if dancing girls came in.”
“Put the old emperors to shame. Look. Even Belinda isn’t immune.”
Miss Contague loosed a blast of cackling laughter. She slapped Rory
Sculdyte on the back. Rory bellowed his own hilarity.
Rory Sculdyte was the man most likely to treat Belinda to a dip in
the river wearing iron swimwear. Rory knew in his secret heart that he
had been cheated of his birthright when Chodo took over.
I told Morley, “You better get back to work. ’Cause here she comes.”
Morley did. And Belinda did. I told her, “You need to laugh more,
woman. You’re more attractive when you laugh.”
“And when I don’t?”
“You’re still attractive, he admitted reluctantly because it blunted
his point.”
“Tell me something, old friend. Why am I having fun?”
“If I knew, I’d get my business partners to come bottle it.”
“Seriously, Garrett.”
“Seriously, Contague. Maybe somebody put wormwood in the wine casks.
You saying it’s not your fault? Not part of your evil master plan?”
“I’ll take credit. But I didn’t plan it. No. You know I expected
tonight to turn darker. But I can’t go through with it now.”
“Then get on with the business with your father. Save the bad-girl
stuff for when I’m on the other side of town. Work some magic here so
you don’t have to do the bad-girl stuff.”
“What have you been smoking?”
“I don’t do that. I can dream, can’t
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