don't need a junkie doctor for me an' my own. You remember I called you that day? You didn't believe me."
"If I called
you
then, would you believe me?" Marie shrugged. "Whatever ... anyways ... I'm sittin' on a chair in my room. It's night; Tommy just left, and I was reading a
Life
magazine." She flicked the ash of her cigarette. "This nurse comes in with a wheelchair and wheels me down to this lab or something and there's Marcus waiting for me with this big needle to take blood and I see he's into his "Shimmy Like Kate" number. The nurse gets me up on this table, ties one of those rubber things around my arm and Marcus goes in with the needle. I was scared because he was shakin' like he just got religion. But it don't hurt much, it's over real quick and he starts injecting the blood into this test tube. The nurse starts takin' the rubber tube off my arm and she must've bumped a tray or something off the table but all of a sudden there's this crash. Marcus ... Marcus jumps twenty feet in the air and spills all the blood in the test tube all over me, all over my white smock, and I look down and I'm drenched with my own blood."
"Oh my God!" Phyllis covered her mouth. "What you do?"
"I fainted. I woke up. I was in bed with a clean gown on. For a while I thought the whole thing was a dream, until I saw the look on Marcus' face the next morning."
"Disgusting." Phyllis shook her head.
"I should've known then that Albert was gonna be heartache. It was a bad omen."
"Oh stop, Marie."
"Everybody has a cross to bear in this life, Phyllis, and Albert's mine."
"Marie, don't talk like that." Phyllis flinched. "He's such a sweet baby. All he wants to do is please you."
"Ten years between babies ... why'd I do that?"
"You tell me."
"Thirty-seven's too old ... with the diapers, the screaming, the sickness all over again. I used to wake up with him crying and whining and I would have this fantasy ... this thing ... I would imagine getting up, putting on my coat, taking the Christmas Club money, one suitcase, and grabbing the first bus out of Port Authority to wherever it's going. One time I actually got down there, suitcase and everything. I remember that night. Albert started crying about two in the morning. Sometimes I would just lay there forever until he stopped crying. That night I lay there an hour. He wouldn't stop. Finally, I just got up, put on that green dress I had, threw some underwear and jewelry in a suitcase and walked out of the house. I had about seventy-five dollars on me. I tooka cab down to Port Authority and I got in line where they got that big map of the country with all the cities lit up. When I got up to the counter the man said, 'Where to?' I looked up at the map and said, 'Buffalo'; then he said, 'Round trip?' and I felt like I didn't understand him and he said, 'Round trip?' again. I just said, 'What?' Then he got pissed and looked at me like I was a Puerto Rican or something. I got so embarrassed I ran away from the counter. I remember sitting down in the waiting room and crying for about half an hour. Some nice fella came over with a cup of coffee from a coffee machine and sat down next to me. A very good-looking tall guy. He gave me the coffee and offered me his handkerchief. He said he was meeting his wife in half an hour. She was coming in on a bus from New Jersey. She was a singer in a club there, but they lived in the city and he was trying to get a better job so she wouldn't have to keep up this schedule and she could sing at only the clubs she wanted to. He asked me if I was coming or going. I said I wish I knew. Anyways, we talked and talked and talked and I felt terrific, like I totally forgot everything and then his wife came over. She was very beautiful with dyed red hair and this guy introduced us. At first I think she was sizing up the situation but then she saw I had been crying. Anyways, the three of us went into a place for coffee and we talked for a long time. Her name was Francine Etter
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