hasnât helped.â
âTake it up again.â
âThe goutâs still niggling.â
âI donât suppose you know that thereâs almost no incidence of gout in Scotland.â
âYouâre kidding.â
âThey donât think whisky brings it on. Beer, red wine, portâs more the thing.â
âWhat about the purine?â
âThe purine?â
âAll the Arbroath smokies, the oak-smoked kippers, the tinned pilchards, the wild salmon leaping up the glensâall that purine.â
âWhatâs that got to do with it?â
âPurine brings on gout.â
âAnd you think...?â Bagado roared and then settled back. âYou better go back on the whisky before the rest of your brain packs in.â
I gave him a bit of slab-faced silence after that. He didnât notice. So I told him what had happened before I left home this morning.
âMaybe she doesnât like you,â he said.
âGive it to me straight, Bagado. I canât take all this faffing around the bush.â
âWell, I donât mean permanently. Just for the time being. Sheâs gone off you. It happens. I asked a woman in Paris once how she came to kill her husband. She said it all started when she saw him cleaning his ears with his little finger and wiping it on her furniture.â
âI took your call in the living room, went back into the bedroom and she was off me. No reason. Just dead to me as if she was in a state of shock.â
âMaybe in your distracted state you scratched yourself, you know, unattractively.â
âThatâs interesting,â I said, dismissing it. âSo what dâyou think that was all about back at the office? The Gerhard thing.â
âMaybe that an attractive woman like Heike could do better than the deadbeat sheâs decided to live with.â
âDeadbeat?â
âYour expression, I think.â
âDeadbeat?
âI donât think thatâs it, by the way. She doesnât mind you being a deadbeat.â
âBut Iâm not a deadbeat. A deadbeatâs someone...â
âItâs part of it, but itâs not it.â
âIâm not a deadbeat. I get up in the morning. I go to work...â
Bagado gave me the yackety-yack with his hand.
âWhat was your annual income last year?â
âCome on, sheâs got a job, Bagado. Itâs different, for Godâs sake. Iâm a street hustlerâdifferent ball game altogether.â
âWeâre missing the point, but you understand me, I think.â
âI do?â
âSex is not the only thing.â
âThe Great Leap Forward, Bagado, I missed something. The link. Letâs have it. And what do you know about my sex life?â
âThat itâs very good.â
âShe told you that?â
âShe didnât have to. Whenever I come to your house the two of you are in bed together.â
âWhatâs wrong with that?â
âNothing, but itâs not the only thing.â
âEven a â
deadbeat
â like me knows that.â
âWhat do you think the difference is between you and Gerhard?â
âHeâs stable, got a good job, heâs older, heâs German, heâs got a sense of humour like an elephant trap...â
âHeâs been married and he wants to get married again to someone who likes Africa.â
âHeikeâs not interested in Gerhard. Weâve been through all that crap with Wolfgang.â
âAnd look how far youâve come in a year. She needs some reassurance that thereâs a point. A yearâs a long time for a woman creeping through her thirties.â
âShe doesnât creep.â
âYouâre being weak, Bruce. You make out you look and donât see but you know better than I do. You just canât bring yourself to the marks. Youâre afraid that sheâll leave you. Youâre
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