Read Online Blinded by Travis Thrasher - Free Book Online Page B

when Lisa got pregnant. Olivia wasn’t the result of trying another way out—both of you wanted a child. And for several years, Olivia and then Peyton managed tocover some of the dysfunctions. But they started to creep back in, more so recently than ever.
    The counseling sessions have been fine. But sometimes you leave not telling the whole truth. You don’t talk about this empty feeling you have. You don’t tell them that lately you’ve been hearing a whole lot of silence from God.
    It’s your relationship with Lisa you’re in counseling for, not your relationship with God.
    You haven’t said much to your church friends. In fact, you haven’t seen much of them. The longstanding monthly small group you’re in has been meeting less and less often. You use trips and work and the children as excuses. But you know the real reason. You don’t want to admit failure. You don’t want to tell them you’ve been angry at God for some time. People don’t like hearing that sort of honest talk. So you’ve been staying away. And going through the motions whenever those friends are around.
    It’s just a season
.
    Just a season you’re in.
    But every day dims away and every morning brightens again and there you are, in the same season. With the same cloudy forecast.
    Sometimes you want to run.
    Running away from the car back there in the run-down neighborhood of the Bronx—sure, it was terrifying. But a partof you has needed something to jolt you back to reality. To resuscitate you. To bring you back up to the surface.
    The counselor would have a heyday with a listing of tonight’s exploits.
    Time to take it up a level, Michael. Time to increase the dosage. Time to put on the headgear and inject shock treatment
.
    But you don’t need shock treatment because this night is enough of a shock.
    And the scary thing is that it’s not over. It’s far from over.
    I need help but I can’t ask for help because I’m angry at the only person who can give it to me
.

T HE GUY BEHIND THE DESK BUZZES you in through the door to the lobby of the high-rise. He’s got a big neck and his eyes look tired.
    “Yeah?” he asks.
    “I need to see Jas—Jana Shreve.”
    “I can call up to her place.”
    “Okay, yeah, that’d be great.”
    He spends a minute on the phone and watches you suspiciously. The gel on his hair glows off the warm orange lights of the narrow hallway.
    “She’s not there.”
    “Any chance I can leave a message?”
    “With me.”
    “I have her license.”
    “Yeah? How’d you get that?”
    “She left her purse at a bar.”
    The doorman looks at you again. “You know J?”
    “Yes. Sort of.”
    “Right. So where’s her purse?”
    “Long story.”
    “Must’ve been a busy night.”
    “Why’s that?” you ask.
    “Guy came by about an hour ago or so asking for J. A little more frantic than you.”
    “What’d he look like?”
    “He had a busted nose, I know that. Short guy.”
    “I think he’s part of the problem.”
    “What problem is that?”
    “Any way you know how to get ahold of her?”
    He shakes his head and laughs. “You got any idea who she is?”
    “No.”
    “One of the richest families in New York. She could be Paris Hilton if she wanted to. Her parents pay for this.” He gestured toward the lobby. “And for everything else she has.”
    “Think anybody might want to hurt her?”
    The guy laughs and lets out a curse. “Man, a whole lot of people might want to hurt her. Or do something to her. You’ve seen her. A girl that hot has to be careful.”
    He pauses, then continues.
    “Thing is, J’s not careful. That girl is trouble.”
    I realize that
.
    “Any idea where she might be?”
    “You think she’s in trouble?” he asks.
    “Maybe.”
    “Some might say to call her parents, but not me. They’re a little—I don’t know—crazy? A little crazy protective.”
    “Ever heard of a place called Exit?”
    “Probably a club. J’s into those.”
    You think for a moment and then