you’re an adult. You’re not hip and you’re not young and you can’t do anything you want.
There are consequences to actions.
The Cadillac drives smoothly and the music soothes you. The deserted and empty outside has been replaced by traffic and people and life and energy. It’s amazing how quickly conditions can change in a matter of miles.
You look over at Walt, and his shoulders move as if he’s ready to dance. His lips mime the words and he seems to forget you’re here.
Maybe it’s time to go back to the hotel
.
But you remember Jasmine’s last voice mail. You have to do something. At least check out her place, see if she’s there. If she’s not, you can call the cops and then leave the rest to them. Then get some rest and head home later this morning.
“Got any advice?” the driver asks you.
“On what?”
“The whole marriage thing. I mean, twelve years. You must be doing something right.”
All that comes to your mind are a dozen things you’ve done wrong.
“Once the whole honeymoon period ends—and believe me, it always does—you have to be open and honest. If you go too long not being honest, that spells disaster.”
“My fiancée—she’s brutally honest. I don’t think she’ll ever have a problem with that whole area.”
Yeah, but it takes two to be completely honest
.
“Just be patient. And remember—it’s hard work.”
“And don’t go chasing broads in the middle of the night,” Walt says.
You laugh. “Yeah.”
“But you’re going to try to find her, aren’t you?”
“I’m just afraid—I don’t know. I’m afraid she might be in a lot of trouble.”
“What exactly are you gonna do?”
“Good question.”
I don’t have a clue. But at least I’ll know. At least I’ll be able to see if she’s okay
.
As the driver listens and sings along to the music, you feel a new sensation on this night. The sense of danger and adventure, something your life has sorely lacked. Where is thatsense of adventure and thrill seeking that you used to long for as a boy but suddenly forgot about once adulthood came into play?
Having children is supposed to help with your sense of adventure. Right? It’s supposed to keep you young at heart.
For once, your heart is racing and you feel alive and you feel that you’re finally on an exciting journey.
What if that journey ends with a bullet in your head, Mike?
There are responsibilities that you have to think about.
What if something happens to Jasmine?
The SUV stops in the middle of a side street.
“It’s gotta be one of these buildings around here,” Walt says.
You shake his hand. “Hope this wasn’t too far out of your way.”
“Nah, it’s cool.”
“Thanks for being my guardian angel tonight.”
“Can angels be black?” he asks with a laugh.
He finds something in the center near the dash and hands it to you.
“That’s my card. Not that you’re likely to be needing a DJ anytime soon. But it’s got my cell number on it. Anybody puts a gun in your face again, or you end up in the south Bronx, give me a call, all right?”
“Appreciate it.”
He nods and you exit the car. The music grows louder and he drives off.
You replace his card with the license from your pocket. You see the address and walk down the street, trying to find it, trying to find something, trying to make sure that Jasmine is okay.
Y OU HAVEN ’ T TOLD ANYONE about the counseling that Lisa and you have been going through the past year.
Lisa initiated it. You went willingly, thinking it was unnecessary, just a formality. Twelve years of marriage and you need counseling? Of course you don’t. It’s just this time of your life.
Lately, that’s been the phrase you’ve been using. The Season Of Life You’re In.
How come each season seems to be getting colder, darker, busier? When will spring ever come again? When things felt young and fresh and alive.
When things got really dark, you guys decided to keep at it. And that was
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