the expression on Ben’s face.
“Mittens? He kept mittens in the floor safe?”
“And cash,” Craw added. The cash at least didn’t seem crazy.
But the mittens were really all Aiden cared about. He took the pair he’d made for Jeremy at Christmas—done in Fair Isle style, with little white rabbits hopping across a red border—and stroked them.
“It was the mittens mostly,” Aiden said, crushing the wool in his fingers, relieved that it would bounce back when he let go. “He wanted to keep the mittens. In case he left, you see? In case we didn’t have any tomorrows together. Save them for a rainy day without me.”
“Oh,” Ben said, and Aiden looked over his shoulder, aware that his eyes were red and burning but fiercely determined not to accept comfort.
“Don’t save it for later. Wear the scarf now. Craw’ll knit for you. He’ll knit until his fingers shrivel, and when he can’t knit, I’ll knit, and Ariadne’s baby’ll knit. But don’t save love because it’s ‘too special’ to wear. You wear love every day, and it’ll never wear out.” Oh, he believed that. With every touch of his father’s hand to his mother’s face, he believed that about love. With everything in him yearning for Jeremy to come home, to just be there to argue with, Aiden believed that about love.
But even the toughest faith could get shaky after two months with no man beside him.
“He’s coming home next week,” Craw said again, and Aiden nodded, then dashed his hand over his eyes. Standing, he slammed the safe shut and spun the dial.
“Let’s make sure he’s got a good home to come to,” he said. “C’mon, Craw—this fucker’ll break my back if I take it alone.”
A WEEK later he endured an interminable amount of time checking Jeremy out of the hospital.
“So you understand about the PT?” the therapist asked for the thousandth time.
She seemed like a nice woman, but Aiden was through. “He can’t do shit,” Aiden said seriously. “It’s all stretching and gentle lifting. No mill work. He can feed the stock—”
“Not if it’s strenuous!” the physical therapist protested, and Jeremy broke in to head them off.
“No, no. Feeding the critters ain’t strenuous. I mean alpacas are big, but they’re gentle.”
“Yes, but Jeremy—” PT Davenport protested.
“You tell her, boy,” he begged, looking at Aiden and nodding. “You tell her that I’ve got to feed the stock. It’s my job .I can’t go home and be useless, just a boil on your ass. That’s not an honest way to live, and I’ve been doing that for months !” His voice was getting shaky, and Aiden grasped his hand. In a way it was a relief to know that Jeremy needed to go home, to have some normal, probably as much as Aiden needed him there.
“Jeremy, go say good-bye to Ariadne and Stanley, okay?” Aiden said softly. “I need to have some words with the PT and the doc.”
“But, Aiden!” There was a high, thready note of exhaustion there that told Aiden Jeremy had about had enough. If he didn’t get out of here now ,he’d break into tears and they’d make him stay another day. Even though they were just going to Ben’s friend’s apartment for the night before they flew to Granby in the morning, Aiden didn’t think either of them could take another day.
Aiden ground his teeth, irritated and needing Jeremy alone, all at once. “Jer, I’ll make it good, okay? You’ve got to have some faith in me. I’ll take care of you.”
Jeremy nodded helplessly, and Aiden did what he’d been dying to do since the beginning of the week, when Jeremy had first called and told him that the doctors let him out of bed.
He bent down and kissed his man.
Jeremy opened his mouth and made a soft noise, an easy surrender, and Aiden breathed him in deep and tasted. Ah, God, yes. This was what he’d dreamed about as he’d grown up. He’d knownit was worth the wait then, and it was certainly worth the wait now.
Aiden pulled
“Mittens? He kept mittens in the floor safe?”
“And cash,” Craw added. The cash at least didn’t seem crazy.
But the mittens were really all Aiden cared about. He took the pair he’d made for Jeremy at Christmas—done in Fair Isle style, with little white rabbits hopping across a red border—and stroked them.
“It was the mittens mostly,” Aiden said, crushing the wool in his fingers, relieved that it would bounce back when he let go. “He wanted to keep the mittens. In case he left, you see? In case we didn’t have any tomorrows together. Save them for a rainy day without me.”
“Oh,” Ben said, and Aiden looked over his shoulder, aware that his eyes were red and burning but fiercely determined not to accept comfort.
“Don’t save it for later. Wear the scarf now. Craw’ll knit for you. He’ll knit until his fingers shrivel, and when he can’t knit, I’ll knit, and Ariadne’s baby’ll knit. But don’t save love because it’s ‘too special’ to wear. You wear love every day, and it’ll never wear out.” Oh, he believed that. With every touch of his father’s hand to his mother’s face, he believed that about love. With everything in him yearning for Jeremy to come home, to just be there to argue with, Aiden believed that about love.
But even the toughest faith could get shaky after two months with no man beside him.
“He’s coming home next week,” Craw said again, and Aiden nodded, then dashed his hand over his eyes. Standing, he slammed the safe shut and spun the dial.
“Let’s make sure he’s got a good home to come to,” he said. “C’mon, Craw—this fucker’ll break my back if I take it alone.”
A WEEK later he endured an interminable amount of time checking Jeremy out of the hospital.
“So you understand about the PT?” the therapist asked for the thousandth time.
She seemed like a nice woman, but Aiden was through. “He can’t do shit,” Aiden said seriously. “It’s all stretching and gentle lifting. No mill work. He can feed the stock—”
“Not if it’s strenuous!” the physical therapist protested, and Jeremy broke in to head them off.
“No, no. Feeding the critters ain’t strenuous. I mean alpacas are big, but they’re gentle.”
“Yes, but Jeremy—” PT Davenport protested.
“You tell her, boy,” he begged, looking at Aiden and nodding. “You tell her that I’ve got to feed the stock. It’s my job .I can’t go home and be useless, just a boil on your ass. That’s not an honest way to live, and I’ve been doing that for months !” His voice was getting shaky, and Aiden grasped his hand. In a way it was a relief to know that Jeremy needed to go home, to have some normal, probably as much as Aiden needed him there.
“Jeremy, go say good-bye to Ariadne and Stanley, okay?” Aiden said softly. “I need to have some words with the PT and the doc.”
“But, Aiden!” There was a high, thready note of exhaustion there that told Aiden Jeremy had about had enough. If he didn’t get out of here now ,he’d break into tears and they’d make him stay another day. Even though they were just going to Ben’s friend’s apartment for the night before they flew to Granby in the morning, Aiden didn’t think either of them could take another day.
Aiden ground his teeth, irritated and needing Jeremy alone, all at once. “Jer, I’ll make it good, okay? You’ve got to have some faith in me. I’ll take care of you.”
Jeremy nodded helplessly, and Aiden did what he’d been dying to do since the beginning of the week, when Jeremy had first called and told him that the doctors let him out of bed.
He bent down and kissed his man.
Jeremy opened his mouth and made a soft noise, an easy surrender, and Aiden breathed him in deep and tasted. Ah, God, yes. This was what he’d dreamed about as he’d grown up. He’d knownit was worth the wait then, and it was certainly worth the wait now.
Aiden pulled
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