Read Online Black and Blue by Paige Notaro - Free Book Online Page A

with my boys or even go out for a prowl. Now I just slumped there, chewing through it like a cow. There was a lingering fog over my head, sending every thought down, even with the day bright outside.
    My gaze rested on the table, a dark polished wood thing. It was another one of Troy’s recommendations, but all I could see in it was a cheap veneer of success.
    I wanted Gabi. That was true enough, but her rejection stung me the harder cause I could see where it came from. I could hear that voice in her head whispering that I wasn’t good enough. Despite what I’d earned, I was still white trash.
    Or maybe that was just my own voice. Deep down, I knew all my strength and all my swagger was just for show. Inside I was just a poor boy making his way up the only way he could, dragging his dumbass friends along for the ride. It used to give me fire, but now it just weighed on me, even after workouts and through nights with the boys.
    Well, if I couldn’t escape the tarnish of my past, now was as good a time as any to sink back into it. It was time to get Dad checked up anyway.
    I dropped the finished bowl in the sink, grabbed a few things and headed out. Instead of slinking north or off to the side, I drove south, along the river. It wasn’t a steady procession of decay, but the streets swelled with rundown buildings and empty lots for ever-increasing stretches, before the office buildings gave away altogether.
    A thin wall marked the beginning of suburbs again. These were tiny houses, but the lots look well groomed and there were newish cars parked in the driveways. That ended after a couple blocks, and I passed house after house with trash and tacky shit littering yellowed grass. Broken down rides were parked all along the curb. Small packs of teens sat aimlessly on steps, drinking and squinting as I rolled past.
    I was home.
    A few more blocks and I arrived at the place where I’d grown up. Dad’s old red truck squatted in the driveway, and I parked beside. The grass grew wild along the stone path up the lawn, but at least it wasn’t covered in junk.
    I unlocked the front door and let myself in. The TV roared down the hallway.
    “Pop?” I said. “Sarah?”
    The floorboards creaked and my old man peeked in to the hallway. Every year, I saw more of myself reflected in his face, round and grizzled and grumpy. He looked like me with all the sharp lines taken out: me minus the discipline. And minus the oxygen tubes poking out of his mouth.
    He just gave me a curt nod. “Sean.”
    “Hey Pop,” I said. “You got time?”
    “Time for what?”
    “I want to take you down to the hospital for another set of images.”
    “Hmph.” He disappeared back into the living room. He damn well knew what I wanted and knew he needed it. But he didn’t put much stock in knowledge.
    I sighed and set off to the task, but it took only a couple steps to hear the floorboards creaking behind me. I whipped around and caught my sister grinning directly at my face. She yelped and tried to back away, but she was still no match for my speed. I grabbed her tight and kissed her on the forehead.
    “Hey, doll,” I said, huddling with her and watching her sightless blue eyes. “You gotta stop doing that.”
    “I’m a tiger stalking its prey.” She growled.
    Sometimes I thought it was just as good that Sarah couldn’t see. Most of the girls with sight around here were pregnant by her age, but my sister was still that sweet kid. Not dumb though, not by a long shot.
    “How’s school work?” I asked. “You need any help?”
    “Hah, no thanks meathead.”
    She was only teasing, but in my raw state it still registered. “Hey, I graduated, alright?”
    “You know I’m just messing.” She felt up my face and ruffled my hair. “Come on, let’s go get Dad.”
    She pranced on ahead, not even feeling for the walls. This place belonged to her. She knew its every inch. My heart sank a little further at the dream of pulling her out of it.
    When I