family. She felt close to him in a lot of ways, but she’d never thought of
him as a complete person.
And,
staring out at the quiet lake, its placid surface hiding its depth, she
realized their friendship couldn’t continue as it was forever.
What
had been necessary for the first few months might not be for the best—for
either one of them—for very much longer.
*
* *
Zoe woke up
early the next morning when Logan started to cry. He was just hungry, so she
nursed him and then put him back to bed.
Then
she got back into bed too.
She
usually used this time to exercise and shower, but she didn’t feel much like it
this morning. In fact, she felt lazy and a little depressed.
That
moment the day before when she felt that weird pull of attraction to Adam had
rattled her more than she would have expected.
Adam
was an attractive man, and she was a normal woman—so she knew it wasn’t unnatural
or entirely out of the blue to have the thought pass through her mind.
But
she couldn’t think about Adam that way. It was just wrong in so many ways. It made
her feel sick and guilty, and it ruined everything safe and comfortable she’d
had in her friendship with him.
When
her phone rang, she picked it up and looked at the name.
Adam.
For
a moment, she let it ring, not feeling up to talking to him right now.
But
then she felt guilty. Adam had been nothing but kind to her, and he didn’t
deserve for her to ignore him, no matter how weird she felt.
So
she picked up and said, “Hey.”
“Good
morning. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“No.
I woke up earlier to feed Logan.”
“Are
you sure?”
“Yeah.
I just felt lazy, so I got back in bed. But I wasn’t asleep.”
“Ah.
That must explain it.” It sounded like there was a smile in his voice. “How’s
Logan?”
She
knew his question was genuine. He’d warmed up to Logan a lot in the last few
months, and Logan obviously adored his Uncle Lala—the name Adam seemed to be
stuck with. “He’s fine. I think Mom must have played with him all day
yesterday. The poor little fellow is exhausted.”
Adam
chuckled, and for some reason the sound of it made Zoe’s chest hurt. His laugh
just then sounded a little bit like Josh’s.
But
Adam wasn’t Josh, and he never could be.
Adam
must have said something, but Zoe totally missed it. There was a pregnant
silence and then Adam prompted, “Zoe?”
“I’m
sorry—what did you say?”
“Is
everything all right?”
“Sure.”
“You
were kind of quiet on the way home yesterday. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Of
course,” she said again, starting to get a little annoyed that he was pushing
this. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I
don’t know.”
“Why
did you call, anyway?” It wasn’t unusual for Adam to call, but he always had
something particular to ask or tell her. He never called just to chat.
“Oh,
yeah. The Moscow Ballet is in town next weekend. I was wondering if you wanted
to go on Friday.” The invitation was friendly, casual. No expectations or
implications.
Zoe
understood all of that, and two days ago she would have accepted without
hesitation. She did a lot of things with Adam, and she always appreciated the
chance to get out of the house and do something with adults.
But
now she couldn’t stop thinking that it would look kind of like a date. It
didn’t matter that a date was the last thing on Adam’s mind—she obviously knew
he hadn’t dreamed of anything romantic in his invitation—but it would still
look that way to other people.
After
her odd moment the day before, she was afraid it would feel that way.
And
there was absolutely no way she could go on a date with Adam.
“Oh,
I’m sorry. I can’t,” she said, managing to sound light and natural.
“Oh.”
Adam’s voice sounded a little surprised. “You already have plans?”
“Yeah.”
He
didn’t answer immediately, and she knew what the silence meant. He was holding
himself back from asking the next
him as a complete person.
And,
staring out at the quiet lake, its placid surface hiding its depth, she
realized their friendship couldn’t continue as it was forever.
What
had been necessary for the first few months might not be for the best—for
either one of them—for very much longer.
*
* *
Zoe woke up
early the next morning when Logan started to cry. He was just hungry, so she
nursed him and then put him back to bed.
Then
she got back into bed too.
She
usually used this time to exercise and shower, but she didn’t feel much like it
this morning. In fact, she felt lazy and a little depressed.
That
moment the day before when she felt that weird pull of attraction to Adam had
rattled her more than she would have expected.
Adam
was an attractive man, and she was a normal woman—so she knew it wasn’t unnatural
or entirely out of the blue to have the thought pass through her mind.
But
she couldn’t think about Adam that way. It was just wrong in so many ways. It made
her feel sick and guilty, and it ruined everything safe and comfortable she’d
had in her friendship with him.
When
her phone rang, she picked it up and looked at the name.
Adam.
For
a moment, she let it ring, not feeling up to talking to him right now.
But
then she felt guilty. Adam had been nothing but kind to her, and he didn’t
deserve for her to ignore him, no matter how weird she felt.
So
she picked up and said, “Hey.”
“Good
morning. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“No.
I woke up earlier to feed Logan.”
“Are
you sure?”
“Yeah.
I just felt lazy, so I got back in bed. But I wasn’t asleep.”
“Ah.
That must explain it.” It sounded like there was a smile in his voice. “How’s
Logan?”
She
knew his question was genuine. He’d warmed up to Logan a lot in the last few
months, and Logan obviously adored his Uncle Lala—the name Adam seemed to be
stuck with. “He’s fine. I think Mom must have played with him all day
yesterday. The poor little fellow is exhausted.”
Adam
chuckled, and for some reason the sound of it made Zoe’s chest hurt. His laugh
just then sounded a little bit like Josh’s.
But
Adam wasn’t Josh, and he never could be.
Adam
must have said something, but Zoe totally missed it. There was a pregnant
silence and then Adam prompted, “Zoe?”
“I’m
sorry—what did you say?”
“Is
everything all right?”
“Sure.”
“You
were kind of quiet on the way home yesterday. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Of
course,” she said again, starting to get a little annoyed that he was pushing
this. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I
don’t know.”
“Why
did you call, anyway?” It wasn’t unusual for Adam to call, but he always had
something particular to ask or tell her. He never called just to chat.
“Oh,
yeah. The Moscow Ballet is in town next weekend. I was wondering if you wanted
to go on Friday.” The invitation was friendly, casual. No expectations or
implications.
Zoe
understood all of that, and two days ago she would have accepted without
hesitation. She did a lot of things with Adam, and she always appreciated the
chance to get out of the house and do something with adults.
But
now she couldn’t stop thinking that it would look kind of like a date. It
didn’t matter that a date was the last thing on Adam’s mind—she obviously knew
he hadn’t dreamed of anything romantic in his invitation—but it would still
look that way to other people.
After
her odd moment the day before, she was afraid it would feel that way.
And
there was absolutely no way she could go on a date with Adam.
“Oh,
I’m sorry. I can’t,” she said, managing to sound light and natural.
“Oh.”
Adam’s voice sounded a little surprised. “You already have plans?”
“Yeah.”
He
didn’t answer immediately, and she knew what the silence meant. He was holding
himself back from asking the next
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