air from your lungs and bring tears to your eyes.
“It’s getting colder,” I said.
Ethan nodded. He took my hand, and we followed the stream for a bit in the quiet dark, then crossed through the trees to the edge of another field. This one was bounded by a fence and held a scattering of cows.
“I think I prefer woods to empty fields,” I said. “Trees seem safer somehow.”
“I suppose,” Ethan said quietly. He dropped my hand and rubbed his temples.
“Another headache?”
He nodded, then took my hand again. We made it only a few more steps before he wrenched his hand from mine and began scrubbing his hands across his arms.
“Christ almighty,” he swore.
“Ethan?” I tentatively asked. He was obviously in pain, but I had no idea how to help. And when he looked at me, there was fear in his eyes that made my blood run cold.
“Is it Tate again?”
He shook his head.
“Is it the accident? Did you hit your head?”
He reached out for a nearby tree, bracing his arm against it. “You told me Mallory said her need for the dark magic was uncomfortable. An irritation.”
I nodded, fear squeezing my chest tight.
“I think I feel that itch beneath my skin.”
My eyes widened. “You can sense what she’s feeling?”
He squeezed his eyes shut and balled his fists on his forehead like he was holding back a scream. “It’s infuriating. Like fire beneath my skin. Like things are wrong.”
“When did it start?”
“Just now. This is the first time…this has happened.”
But was it? Ethan’s rebirth hadn’t been unicorns and rainbows at first. He’d managed to walk through smoke and fire back to me, only to collapse a few minutes later.
“On the midway, you collapsed. You fell down right after she resurrected you.”
“I don’t remember that,” he said.
I thought back to that moment, looking for some fact that might link what had happened then and what he was feeling now. “You walked across the grass. Jonah saw you first.”
“Where was Mallory?”
“She was unconscious. Catcher had knocked her out.” She’d passed out, and then he had, too. I worked to keep my voice steady. “Do you think you’re connected to her somehow?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Had the familiar spell been completed, I certainly would have been. But she didn’t manage to finish it.”
“Maybe what she did finish was enough,” I said, and the fearsbegan to pummel my brain.
Please,
I silently prayed,
please
don’t let her turn him into a zombie.
He squeezed his eyes shut and grunted, his face contorted. “It hurts. If this is what she’s feeling, I get it. I understand the pain.”
I felt a sudden sympathy for her—not for what she’d done, but for the demons she’d had to fight along the way. They didn’t excuse her behavior, but if this was what she was feeling, they certainly explained it a little: better to destroy the world than to let it drive you completely crazy.
“But you wouldn’t harm others to be rid of it,” I quietly reminded him. “Why are you feeling it now? Can you tell if she’s upset? Angry?”
He opened his eyes, his face still tight with pain. “Maybe. I don’t know. But I think she’s nearby.”
I put a hand on the pommel of my sword and opened myself to any hints of magic in the air. But there was nothing. If she was nearby, I couldn’t tell. “Do you know where?”
Ethan shook his head. I could tell he was struggling to maintain his composure, but I wasn’t about to give up on him or let him succumb to whatever was overcoming Mallory. And I realized that if he couldn’t overcome it—a vampire with four hundred years of experience in dealing with magic—how could we possibly ask her to?
I tipped his chin up so that he was forced to look at me. And then I recalled all the speeches he’d ever given me, and all the motivational things he’d ever said, and the fact that he’d never let me quit or stop when something big was on the line.
“Ethan
“It’s getting colder,” I said.
Ethan nodded. He took my hand, and we followed the stream for a bit in the quiet dark, then crossed through the trees to the edge of another field. This one was bounded by a fence and held a scattering of cows.
“I think I prefer woods to empty fields,” I said. “Trees seem safer somehow.”
“I suppose,” Ethan said quietly. He dropped my hand and rubbed his temples.
“Another headache?”
He nodded, then took my hand again. We made it only a few more steps before he wrenched his hand from mine and began scrubbing his hands across his arms.
“Christ almighty,” he swore.
“Ethan?” I tentatively asked. He was obviously in pain, but I had no idea how to help. And when he looked at me, there was fear in his eyes that made my blood run cold.
“Is it Tate again?”
He shook his head.
“Is it the accident? Did you hit your head?”
He reached out for a nearby tree, bracing his arm against it. “You told me Mallory said her need for the dark magic was uncomfortable. An irritation.”
I nodded, fear squeezing my chest tight.
“I think I feel that itch beneath my skin.”
My eyes widened. “You can sense what she’s feeling?”
He squeezed his eyes shut and balled his fists on his forehead like he was holding back a scream. “It’s infuriating. Like fire beneath my skin. Like things are wrong.”
“When did it start?”
“Just now. This is the first time…this has happened.”
But was it? Ethan’s rebirth hadn’t been unicorns and rainbows at first. He’d managed to walk through smoke and fire back to me, only to collapse a few minutes later.
“On the midway, you collapsed. You fell down right after she resurrected you.”
“I don’t remember that,” he said.
I thought back to that moment, looking for some fact that might link what had happened then and what he was feeling now. “You walked across the grass. Jonah saw you first.”
“Where was Mallory?”
“She was unconscious. Catcher had knocked her out.” She’d passed out, and then he had, too. I worked to keep my voice steady. “Do you think you’re connected to her somehow?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Had the familiar spell been completed, I certainly would have been. But she didn’t manage to finish it.”
“Maybe what she did finish was enough,” I said, and the fearsbegan to pummel my brain.
Please,
I silently prayed,
please
don’t let her turn him into a zombie.
He squeezed his eyes shut and grunted, his face contorted. “It hurts. If this is what she’s feeling, I get it. I understand the pain.”
I felt a sudden sympathy for her—not for what she’d done, but for the demons she’d had to fight along the way. They didn’t excuse her behavior, but if this was what she was feeling, they certainly explained it a little: better to destroy the world than to let it drive you completely crazy.
“But you wouldn’t harm others to be rid of it,” I quietly reminded him. “Why are you feeling it now? Can you tell if she’s upset? Angry?”
He opened his eyes, his face still tight with pain. “Maybe. I don’t know. But I think she’s nearby.”
I put a hand on the pommel of my sword and opened myself to any hints of magic in the air. But there was nothing. If she was nearby, I couldn’t tell. “Do you know where?”
Ethan shook his head. I could tell he was struggling to maintain his composure, but I wasn’t about to give up on him or let him succumb to whatever was overcoming Mallory. And I realized that if he couldn’t overcome it—a vampire with four hundred years of experience in dealing with magic—how could we possibly ask her to?
I tipped his chin up so that he was forced to look at me. And then I recalled all the speeches he’d ever given me, and all the motivational things he’d ever said, and the fact that he’d never let me quit or stop when something big was on the line.
“Ethan
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