Read Online Bigger Than the Sky (Serenity Point) by Harper Bentley - Free Book Online
Authors: Harper Bentley
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pulls me close to him, holding me as I continue crying.
“Shhhh. Babe… it’s okay…” I hear him whisper into my ear.
But it’s not okay. I thought I’d felt hurt with everything over the last five years, but now I know I was wrong. This hurts. So bad, down to the very core of my soul. And I know it’s just another loss I’ve taken over the years. Just one more hit. One more added to the list of things that have destroyed me. First my dad and then my mom. Then Kade. His family. Papaw and Meemaw. Aidan. And now this.
And no matter what, I know I’ll have to jump right back up and act like nothing’s wrong because that’s the kind of person I am. God forbid I ever let anything get me down. I’ll plaster that stupid smile on my face as if everything’s just wonderful in my world, making my way through life but not trusting anyone.
The irony of it all? I doubt I’ll ever truly allow myself the luxury of fully committing to anyone because I’m afraid they’ll leave. Yeah, I, of all people, am afraid of being abandoned. Go figure.
I fall asleep to Kade’s hand sliding gently through my hair and his soft whispers of, “It’ll be okay… I promise…”
~~~
I wake slowly, drifting to the surface of consciousness, and feel happy and warm and safe, better than I’ve felt in a long time, and I’m not sure why. I flutter my eyes open and take in a deep, contented breath until I realize where I am and my heart seizes for a second.
Shit!
Kade’s holding me against his big, warm, hard body, his arm draped over me possessively, and I lie there wondering if that’s why I felt so good upon waking. Probably. But then I remember last night, well, a few hours ago, and the hurt burrows itself into my heart once again and I know I need to get out of here.
I turn slowly and face him taking in his handsome face that’s now so relaxed in his sleep. When he’s awake, he’s usually on alert at all times prepared for anything, which I guess comes from his SEAL training, but he was always a little uptight, a little high-strung. I think it’s because he’s the oldest child and his inherent Type-A personality makes him that way—responsible, a perfectionist, bossy .
And then I remember I’m mad at him. He’s hurt me so badly with the house that my stomach roils a little just thinking about it. I slide out from under his arm and off the bed, standing and turning to look at him, which, honest to God, takes my breath away. My lord, he’s beautiful. The perfect bone structure in his face that cuts such rugged lines, his thick, dark hair, broad chest and long, powerful legs all make him the epitome of how a real man should be built. But he’s no longer mine, and now since he’s gone out of his way to hurt me by buying the house, I know he never will be. I’d had a tiny glimmer of hope after he’d kissed me, thinking maybe… maybe we might be able to fix things, start again. But the house is basically a big “Fuck you” at me, and the finality of it all leaves my heart hollow. It’s like a death and nothing can be done to assuage the hurt.
I’m still dressed, my coat and shoes are on so I leave his room, trying not to pay any attention to the house because I know it’ll just add to my pain. But as I walk down the stairs, running my hand over the beautiful, polished, dark oak banister, I can’t help but notice the ornate pattern carved into the balusters or the gorgeous caps at each landing. I know he’s done this because they weren’t there five years ago. And it’s just another knife to my heart.
Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, I hurry through the living room and kitchen then out to the mudroom keeping my eyes averted as much as possible before pulling my cell phone out.
“Can you come get me at Kade’s?” I ask when my call’s answered.
~~~
“Thanks,” I say as I get into the car.
“No problem. Just tell me why your eyes are practically swollen shut. He better not have hit you!”
“Shhhh. Babe… it’s okay…” I hear him whisper into my ear.
But it’s not okay. I thought I’d felt hurt with everything over the last five years, but now I know I was wrong. This hurts. So bad, down to the very core of my soul. And I know it’s just another loss I’ve taken over the years. Just one more hit. One more added to the list of things that have destroyed me. First my dad and then my mom. Then Kade. His family. Papaw and Meemaw. Aidan. And now this.
And no matter what, I know I’ll have to jump right back up and act like nothing’s wrong because that’s the kind of person I am. God forbid I ever let anything get me down. I’ll plaster that stupid smile on my face as if everything’s just wonderful in my world, making my way through life but not trusting anyone.
The irony of it all? I doubt I’ll ever truly allow myself the luxury of fully committing to anyone because I’m afraid they’ll leave. Yeah, I, of all people, am afraid of being abandoned. Go figure.
I fall asleep to Kade’s hand sliding gently through my hair and his soft whispers of, “It’ll be okay… I promise…”
~~~
I wake slowly, drifting to the surface of consciousness, and feel happy and warm and safe, better than I’ve felt in a long time, and I’m not sure why. I flutter my eyes open and take in a deep, contented breath until I realize where I am and my heart seizes for a second.
Shit!
Kade’s holding me against his big, warm, hard body, his arm draped over me possessively, and I lie there wondering if that’s why I felt so good upon waking. Probably. But then I remember last night, well, a few hours ago, and the hurt burrows itself into my heart once again and I know I need to get out of here.
I turn slowly and face him taking in his handsome face that’s now so relaxed in his sleep. When he’s awake, he’s usually on alert at all times prepared for anything, which I guess comes from his SEAL training, but he was always a little uptight, a little high-strung. I think it’s because he’s the oldest child and his inherent Type-A personality makes him that way—responsible, a perfectionist, bossy .
And then I remember I’m mad at him. He’s hurt me so badly with the house that my stomach roils a little just thinking about it. I slide out from under his arm and off the bed, standing and turning to look at him, which, honest to God, takes my breath away. My lord, he’s beautiful. The perfect bone structure in his face that cuts such rugged lines, his thick, dark hair, broad chest and long, powerful legs all make him the epitome of how a real man should be built. But he’s no longer mine, and now since he’s gone out of his way to hurt me by buying the house, I know he never will be. I’d had a tiny glimmer of hope after he’d kissed me, thinking maybe… maybe we might be able to fix things, start again. But the house is basically a big “Fuck you” at me, and the finality of it all leaves my heart hollow. It’s like a death and nothing can be done to assuage the hurt.
I’m still dressed, my coat and shoes are on so I leave his room, trying not to pay any attention to the house because I know it’ll just add to my pain. But as I walk down the stairs, running my hand over the beautiful, polished, dark oak banister, I can’t help but notice the ornate pattern carved into the balusters or the gorgeous caps at each landing. I know he’s done this because they weren’t there five years ago. And it’s just another knife to my heart.
Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, I hurry through the living room and kitchen then out to the mudroom keeping my eyes averted as much as possible before pulling my cell phone out.
“Can you come get me at Kade’s?” I ask when my call’s answered.
~~~
“Thanks,” I say as I get into the car.
“No problem. Just tell me why your eyes are practically swollen shut. He better not have hit you!”
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