Read Online Big Girls Do It Pregnant by Jasinda Wilder - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jasinda Wilder
Ads: Link
it online. It looks like fun. There was actual baby bingo, but that’s dumb.”
“This isn’t dumb?” I demanded.
She glared at me. “No, it’s cute and funny.” At my skeptical expression, she gave me a hurt look. “What the fuck do I know about baby showers, Anna? I’ve only even held a baby a handful of times in my life. I’ve never been to a baby shower before. I’m not the kind of girl you invite to baby showers. Bachelorette parties, yes. Baby showers, no. I’m trying, okay? I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be—” She sobbed suddenly.
I levered myself out of the chair and wrapped her in a hug. “It’s fine, Jay. It’s great. We’ll have lots of fun pinning little spermies to happy eggs.”
“It’s not about the fucking game, Anna!” Jamie pulled away from me to shoot me an evil look. “I don’t know shit about babies or how to be a mother. And Chase is gone, and I don’t know how to do this!”
I sighed, not wanting to admit my own very similar feelings. Kelly came up on Jamie’s other side, joined by Lindsey, two of her friends, and several other girls I didn’t know but thought were somehow connected to Chase’s band.
“I’m scared, Anna.” Jamie whispered it into my ear so the other women wouldn’t hear.
Kelly turned Jamie’s face with a palm. “You’re allowed to be scared, Jamie. Every woman is scared for her first baby. I think you’re scared for every baby, no matter how many you have. Babies are scary. No one here thinks any less of you for being afraid.”
“What if something goes wrong and Chase isn’t here?” Jamie said. “What if I go into labor early? What if we have this baby and I’m a shitty mom? What if I fuck her up? I don’t want to fuck up my daughter, but I will. I fuck everything up.”
I laughed, crying with her now. “No, you don’t, Jay. You’ll be a great mother. You’re not going to fuck up your daughter. You won’t, I promise you.”
Jamie sniffled, then looked at me. “Are you scared, Anna?”
I laughed again. “Jay, I wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks. Every night for the last month I’ve woken up at two in the morning, barely able to breathe, panicking. You guys can’t tell Jeff because he’ll just worry and I need him to be the one who’s not worrying. I’m terrified, Jay.” I knew I shouldn’t say the next part, but I did anyway. “I wish I had my best friend. I know you live in New York now, but…I sometimes wish you didn’t. I know you’re happy here with Chase and everything, and it’s selfish of me, but I just wish sometimes that we could have our babies together.”
Jamie lost it again. “I’m not happy, Anna! That’s the worst part! Chase is on tour. He’s gone more than he’s here. I talk to him several times a day, and I’m so thankful for that. He’s making a huge effort to keep in contact with me and I realize that, and I appreciate it. He FaceTimed me instead of doing an interview with a magazine just so he could sort of be there when we found out Samantha’s gender. It was so sweet. But…I’m still alone when I go to bed and when I wake up. When he’s here, I’m deliriously happy. But…he’s only here until Wednesday, and then he’s gone again right up until I’m full-term.”
Kelly subtly shooed the other girls away so it was just her, Jamie, and me. “I might have an idea, Jay. I’m not sure it will work, but…you could always stay with me. The last trimester is always the hardest, and you really shouldn’t be alone. I can help you, and then when you go into labor, Chase can just fly in to Detroit instead of New York. I know you and I don’t know each other all that great, but I’d love to have the opportunity to fix that.” She picked at her cuticles with a fingernail while she spoke, as if afraid of rejection.
Jamie’s eyes lit up with relief. “Really? That would be so cool! I just…I don’t want to do this alone. And
“This isn’t dumb?” I demanded.
She glared at me. “No, it’s cute and funny.” At my skeptical expression, she gave me a hurt look. “What the fuck do I know about baby showers, Anna? I’ve only even held a baby a handful of times in my life. I’ve never been to a baby shower before. I’m not the kind of girl you invite to baby showers. Bachelorette parties, yes. Baby showers, no. I’m trying, okay? I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be—” She sobbed suddenly.
I levered myself out of the chair and wrapped her in a hug. “It’s fine, Jay. It’s great. We’ll have lots of fun pinning little spermies to happy eggs.”
“It’s not about the fucking game, Anna!” Jamie pulled away from me to shoot me an evil look. “I don’t know shit about babies or how to be a mother. And Chase is gone, and I don’t know how to do this!”
I sighed, not wanting to admit my own very similar feelings. Kelly came up on Jamie’s other side, joined by Lindsey, two of her friends, and several other girls I didn’t know but thought were somehow connected to Chase’s band.
“I’m scared, Anna.” Jamie whispered it into my ear so the other women wouldn’t hear.
Kelly turned Jamie’s face with a palm. “You’re allowed to be scared, Jamie. Every woman is scared for her first baby. I think you’re scared for every baby, no matter how many you have. Babies are scary. No one here thinks any less of you for being afraid.”
“What if something goes wrong and Chase isn’t here?” Jamie said. “What if I go into labor early? What if we have this baby and I’m a shitty mom? What if I fuck her up? I don’t want to fuck up my daughter, but I will. I fuck everything up.”
I laughed, crying with her now. “No, you don’t, Jay. You’ll be a great mother. You’re not going to fuck up your daughter. You won’t, I promise you.”
Jamie sniffled, then looked at me. “Are you scared, Anna?”
I laughed again. “Jay, I wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks. Every night for the last month I’ve woken up at two in the morning, barely able to breathe, panicking. You guys can’t tell Jeff because he’ll just worry and I need him to be the one who’s not worrying. I’m terrified, Jay.” I knew I shouldn’t say the next part, but I did anyway. “I wish I had my best friend. I know you live in New York now, but…I sometimes wish you didn’t. I know you’re happy here with Chase and everything, and it’s selfish of me, but I just wish sometimes that we could have our babies together.”
Jamie lost it again. “I’m not happy, Anna! That’s the worst part! Chase is on tour. He’s gone more than he’s here. I talk to him several times a day, and I’m so thankful for that. He’s making a huge effort to keep in contact with me and I realize that, and I appreciate it. He FaceTimed me instead of doing an interview with a magazine just so he could sort of be there when we found out Samantha’s gender. It was so sweet. But…I’m still alone when I go to bed and when I wake up. When he’s here, I’m deliriously happy. But…he’s only here until Wednesday, and then he’s gone again right up until I’m full-term.”
Kelly subtly shooed the other girls away so it was just her, Jamie, and me. “I might have an idea, Jay. I’m not sure it will work, but…you could always stay with me. The last trimester is always the hardest, and you really shouldn’t be alone. I can help you, and then when you go into labor, Chase can just fly in to Detroit instead of New York. I know you and I don’t know each other all that great, but I’d love to have the opportunity to fix that.” She picked at her cuticles with a fingernail while she spoke, as if afraid of rejection.
Jamie’s eyes lit up with relief. “Really? That would be so cool! I just…I don’t want to do this alone. And
Similar Books
